pre-schooler ASKING for school then doing poorly? - Page 2

[phathui5]

I think at 4 years old, it's ok for him to do it and play around. For me, a preschooler learning to LIKE schoolwork is a higher priority than them doing a good job.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

good point.

i guess i jsut worry when the time comes for school work -- be that a long time from now -- i don't want the habit of "i can gooph and not do this and it won't matter" ... yk?

hummmm more to think about

I think he just wants to "play school" and it's 100% age appropriate. Your concerns about taking school seriously sound a lot like the excuses people have for not co-sleeping, wanting to get baby onto solid food ASAP, etc. Kids grow at their own pace, and he wont' be any more or less ready to do 1st grade work in 2 years because of the way he's playing with worksheets right now. 5yos are different creatures than 4yo, 6yos are different from 5yos, etc etc.

It's certainly fine to limit your own time and participation, something like "I can help you if you take it seriously, but if you just want to play then I have to go get work done" is fine.

[kittie313]

I agree with everyone else. I am on my third 4yo now, and she is acking me constantly to "do homeschool" like her two big sisters. We have been satisfying her so far with dollar store workbooks to scribble in, she likes to circle things randomly in the workbooks and color in some of the stuff on occassion. We also enjoy cutting and pasting a lot at times, the Kumon cutting book is great for teaching that skill.

She is just now starting to get more interested in actually trying to do some stuff, so we are planning on ordering her very first REAL school workbooks here soon. We'll be doing Handwriting Without Tears pre-k and Horizons preschool. I plan on just taking it slowly at first about a week after we get our materials, and then working up to doing full lessons daily with her.

Have you looked at HWT pre-k yet by chance? It may be a perfect way to introduce him to doing school seriously. Its gentle, lots of hands-on activities and games, and he'll get his workbook fix also. I would totally recommend it (at minimum you need the workbook, teacher guide, and wood pieces unless you make your own pieces from cardboard like I did the first time through this level with my first child)

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by phathui5

I think at 4 years old, it's ok for him to do it and play around. For me, a preschooler learning to LIKE schoolwork is a higher priority than them doing a good job.

good point!! I do want a POSITIVE feelign about "school"

Ruthla --- thinks you put it in perspective -- it is a lot like not wanting to co-sleep cuz they woll never sleep alone (uhhhh they do sleep alone someday right -- i have a 4 yo and a 2 yo in my bed right now ). that makes it so much more clear to me, thanks.....

kittie313 -- i will be intrested to hear how your DD takes to the "real" school stuff -- if she is able to take it serouly and not randomly circle and so on (Theo does that too -- i assume he must have a internal logic in his head i jsut don't see) ..

thnks ladies you all really helped me sort this out in my head

[straighthaircurly]

Originally Posted by justthinkn

Do you think he's really looking for some one-on-one playtime with you? My DD is younger, but she will make up things sometime to try to get my attention or company. I normally just ask her if she really means that she would like my company, or whatever, so that she will eventually realize that she can just ask straight out.

This was my 1st thought.

Also when my son was that age I found myself getting overly invested in the outcome and would end up pointing out where he wasn't doing something correctly. Big mistake on my part at that age because then he would get squirmy and less interested. I realized that I needed to let my own expectations go until he was a bit older (now at 6 I maintain high expectations for the quality of his work but even then have figured out when to back off because it is counterproductive). At 4, focus on open ended learning activities where there does not need to be a set outcome. I would just get rid of "worksheets". Maybe have some colorful flashcards and let him makeup up ways to use them, some fun mazes where he can use any method or material to complete them, lots of games, art, etc.

[LionTigerBear]

Originally Posted by phathui5

I think at 4 years old, it's ok for him to do it and play around. For me, a preschooler learning to LIKE schoolwork is a higher priority than them doing a good job.

I agree. The whole Swedish preschool/kindergarten system is based on this theory. No serious academics until age 7-- not even teaching phonics or basic addition. No drilling the ABCs. It's all just fun and games. And by age 10 their students lead the literacy tables in Europe.

http://www.teachers.tv/video/12090

BTW, I let my son just play and have fun and be a goofball at age 4, and I still allow it at age 5 . . . but now he sits down on his own for a few minutes and applies himself to learning reading and mathematics-- not because I want him to or ask him to, honestly, if it were up to me, I'd like him to wait another year-- but because he wants that himself. And now he can read quite a bit himself and do first grade math. Oh, and I have never made him work through his math workbooks or phonics books in the "correct order". We just do whatever we feel like.

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by TortelliniMama

i'm wondering if he wants to "do school" like he might be want to "be the daddy" with a doll. You probably wouldn't be too concerned if he left the doll naked under a couch cushion, right?

My grandmother and I often "played school" because she was a teacher and I really wanted to go to school like my older cousin. We never actually learned anything - we got school supplies together, we mimed having to raise our hand and being called on, we had "snack time", we put things in backpacks... she would give me really hard math problems and I'd pretend to answer them, that kind of thing. We never really learned anything.

My younger cousin and I often played storekeepers too where we would pretend the swing was a scale and we'd pick grass and rocks to be the produce. Same thing, different setting.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by justthinkn

Do you think he's really looking for some one-on-one playtime with you? My DD is younger, but she will make up things sometime to try to get my attention or company. I normally just ask her if she really means that she would like my company, or whatever, so that she will eventually realize that she can just ask straight out.

My ds did that kind of thing, too, and I handled it the same way once I realized it. He used to say he was hungry because he wanted me to come be with him and knew I wouldn't put him off if he asked for food.

[hippiemommaof4]

If at 4 he wasnt playing around then I would be worried. I think thats normal behavior for a 4 yr old. Honestly, why push? they're so young it seems like if it causes a problem then maybe something needs to be reevaluated there kwim? I know that many homeschoolers start so early but I guess I dont understand the rush to making them students so soon they have so much time to do that stuff later. Relax, and let him be himself. Its probably more of an attention span thing than anything, like at first he wants to then when the novelty wears off or he gets bored then he's done and thats when he plays around. I let my 4 yr old do things the way she wants to when she wants to, if she doesnt complete them I dont really care either way. I just let her go off and play or whatever it is she wants to do...there is no pressure and I feel better not stressing it

[hipumpkins]

LiontigerBear, That video was excellent. I would love to show it a neighboring school district here as the Principal is now taking away art and music. It doesn't of course affect my kids but I feel for those 5 year olds sitting and learning to read and write but having no music or art release. It's a shame.