Would you consider this to be "too much"?

[SunshineJ]

Mods, I wasn't sure if this fit better here or in Ages and Stages; please move if needed.

Our children, boy age 7 and girl age 5.5 are enrolled in Irish Dance lessons. It was the boy's idea and something they both want to do. The "best" place in the area (and really, the only place I know about so "best" is just what I've heard from a few other parents) has our area as a satellite location. They are a well known dance school, lot's of awards, etc. In the usual propaganda for the school, they make it clear that competition is optional and as are performances though those are pushed pretty strongly.

With St. Patrick's Day around the corner, there are many opportunities for performing. We registered to be part of the performance troop back in the fall. We were clear that ds may be too timid to actually perform. Schedules were handed out Sunday Feb 21, but we missed class as there was a mysterious rash on one child and we didn't want to risk infecting everyone if it were something significant. I was told they'd bring the schedule for us this past Sunday, but it was forgotten (from the main location - our instructor drives and hour and a half here every Sunday) and we just got it today.

This is the performance schedule for both children.
March 6: Location 1 10:30 - 10:50
Location 2 2:00 - 2:20

March 16th: Location (30 minutes away), 7:00 - 7:20

March 17th: Location 1 9:00 - 9:20
Location 2 10:30 - 10:50 and
11:05 - 11:25
Location 3 (20+ min away) 1:00 - 1:20 and
1:45 - 2:05
Location 4 2:30 - 2:50

March 18: Location (30-45 min away) 7:15 - 7:30 pm

March 20: Parade 1:00pm

March 25: 7:00 - 7:25 pm

The kids actual performance will last about 5-10 minutes (there's more than one group performing). We are to be at each location 30 minutes early. We were asked if we had any schedule conflicts, and to pick either the 12th or the 17th for the kids to miss school, but honestly I was under the impression that they would have maybe 4-5 shows total over the week or two, not up to 6 in one day! In the packet it is very clear that they are expected to be at each performance and it is "not acceptable" for an unexcused absence. Honestly as we pay them, and they are getting paid for each performance after the 6th and STILL charge the families a fee to cover performance costs, I'm not real thrilled overall, so I'm not sure if it's my general dissatisfaction leaking over or if this really is quite a bit to expect from young children (and parents). Thoughts?

[limabean]

No, it doesn't look like too much to me for a performance troupe at their busiest time of the year (which I'm assuming mid-March is for Irish dancing groups).

There are 10 days between the first and second performance, and a 5-day break between the final two performances. And only one day (St. Patrick's Day itself) has a large number of performances, which I think is to be expected.

Can the group set up an website or e-mail list or something so that materials can be distributed more easily instead of you having to wait weeks for someone to physically bring you a piece of paper? It seems like a well known dance school would have a more streamlined system in place for stuff like that.

[feminist~mama]

I don't really think it's too much either- but how do your dc feel about it? If they don't want to participate, I wouldn't force them to- but I would likely encourage them to try at least the first performance to see if they liked it!

[CarrieMF]

It's not too much. When you signed up for a Performance Troop this is what you signed up for. There is a bigger commitment for joining the performance vs just joining for recreation.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

It's not too much. When you signed up for a Performance Troop this is what you signed up for. There is a bigger commitment for joining the performance vs just joining for recreation.

I am aware of that. However, please keep in mind that we were told last year they had a total of 6 performances. In December they announced they had lined up a total of 2 performances. Then we get the schedule and last year's number has doubled. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate for the company to better explain the way their troope works, what's required, etc. At this point it is considered too late for us to bow out of any of the performances without repercussions. FWIW I'm not the only first year parent to feel in the dark about how things work, it's been the topic of several e-mails to date.

Had they specified that the children would be expected at ALL performances and what dates they'd be performing I would have indicated our unavailibility for a couple of those days (Between this, swimming lessons one day,my mom visiting from out of town, and missing school that Wednesday, I'm not sure where homework will fit into this!). Reviewing the way things are done historically, it's common for say group 1 to go to this location, group 2 over there and group 3 someplace else. And technically they DID split the kids into different groups and reference that not every group will necessarily perform at every function, only the reality is that all the groups are performing at all the functions.

When I told the kids I'd gotten their performance schedules (in a very positive, upbeat way - no way I'm letting my displeasure rain on their fun!), DD flatly stated in regards to St. Patrick's Day "That's too much. I'll do 2 or 3, but no more." I don't know what they'll do if DS is too timid to go onstage or if DD refuses to perform once she gets tired.

I guess it would have been nice to have been better informed of what the schedule was and what they were expecting when we signed up, and it would have been nice to have gotten a little more advanced notice.

[Linda on the move]

It's irish dance and it's st. pat's

Go with a positive attitude and if it's too much for your kids at the time, you'll find out then. This could be a wonderful experience for your kids, so try to stay open to that possibility!

Skip swim lessons that week (st pats is just once a year) and let your mom help with stuff.

I think it is completely normal for kids to want to do an acitivity and the parent find out part way through what is really involved. Yes, it is frustrating, but it is common so you might as well learn to roll with it (sorry!)

[GuildJenn]

It seems pretty much reasonable to me. If you're worried about homework, you can probably pack some along for some of the down time.

For the schedule lateness, it's really not their fault you didn't pick it up yourself either the day your child had the rash or very soon thereafter (not that I necessarily would have been that organized, but if you miss a class the burden transfers to you to get the materials).

[SunshineJ]

Ok so this is normal. Next time I'll know and be better able to plan for it. As it was, it was originally presented as a two day total commitment, not an entire week plus, and I can honestly say this was not a welcome surprise given our schedule this month. I guess that I should have known better, though I have no idea how when even the vetern parents were surprised it was so much this year. But yeah, I get it, suck it up.

For the schedule lateness, it's really not their fault you didn't pick it up yourself either the day your child had the rash or very soon thereafter (not that I necessarily would have been that organized, but if you miss a class the burden transfers to you to get the materials).

I think this is unfair as 1. I did not go to the class in leiu of my children for the same reason - it was a possibility ds had measles (couldn't tell at that stage of the rash) and 2. I didn't want to carry the germs to everyone else. The instructor volunteered to bring the material the following week, otherwise I'd have been more than willing to cover postage or make the drive to Milwaukee to get it. As it was, it still ended up being mailed, just a week later.

[lonegirl]

I did Scottish dancing from age 5-18....sounds like fun! As long as they are having fun sounds good to me.

[lilyka]

that sounds like a whole lot for such little ones. but you did commit so I think this does trump swimming lessons and of course grandma is going to love seeing the preform!!! Did you know in advance you would be missing school for this? I think I would put this up as a lesson learned sort of thing and remember for next year that they are seriousl when they say preforming troupe and you will know what to expect.

just as an aside, the school is getting paid for each preformance. you are paying the school for each preformance. ??

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by lilyka

that sounds like a whole lot for such little ones. but you did commit so I think this does trump swimming lessons and of course grandma is going to love seeing the preform!!! Did you know in advance you would be missing school for this? I think I would put this up as a lesson learned sort of thing and remember for next year that they are seriousl when they say preforming troupe and you will know what to expect.

just as an aside, the school is getting paid for each preformance. you are paying the school for each preformance. ??

With the exception of Saturday (they do free shows for nursing homes and such on their "Outreach Day") all shows that they do, the dance company gets paid for. There's a LOT of emphasis on how the families need to behave and how parents may not be allowed to watch their children because we are the hired entertainment. On the other hand, each family has to pay something like $120/yr to cover the costs of performing for things like administration costs for organizing the performance schedule and so on. Finally, to be in the performance troop, you pay an additional fee to the school - even though in the lower levels the preformance material is taught with the regular material in the normal class. Makes me wish I had the training to open my own dance studio, kwim? Go figure!

[limabean]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

The instructor volunteered to bring the material the following week, otherwise I'd have been more than willing to cover postage or make the drive to Milwaukee to get it. As it was, it still ended up being mailed, just a week later.

I still don't get this part -- it just seems crazy to me in 2010 to hear someone talking about driving to another city to pick up a piece of paper. The dance company really doesn't have a website with listed schedules, or at least a habit of e-mailing the schedules out to parents?

It does seem strange that this year's performance schedule is incongruent with what they've done in the past. Is there a director you can speak to to get the lowdown on why the 3 groups aren't being sent to separate locations this year?

[ollyoxenfree]

DD danced at a highly regarded studio for many years. She started out in the very adorable pre-ballet class when she was 3 y.o. and went on to classes in ballet, jazz, tap....At one point, she had classes 4 days per week - and was considered to be taking it easy compared to the students who had 7 or more classes every week. She eventually decided she didn't want to pursue the competitive dance stream. A lot of the elements of your story sound familiar - a little disorganization, some unclear expectations, the studio taking things for granted with little advanced discussion or explanations...I sympathize with how you are feeling. It can be a little overwhelming and frustrating too.

We discovered that a competitive or performance stream in dance can take over your life. It's wonderful if the child is enthusiastic and committed. It's a big commitment, though and a lot of people rely on a child who signs up for performance. It is difficult or impossible to change the choreography if someone doesn't show up. You don't want your kid to be the one considered unreliable. It will make the rest of the dance year uncomfortable for them - and they may not be invited back next year.

Best of luck and I hope the performances go well.

[mtiger]

I suspect that, at one point or another, we parents get an unexpected - and not necessarily pleasant - surprise at the time suck some of our kids' activities can be. After the initial commitment, it's up to us to work out whether or not the activity can continue.

A few years back, my oldest auditioned for community theater. He didn't get a part, but my youngest - who read just for a laugh as we were there - did. Somehow, it didn't dawn on me just what a commitment we were making. For a few months, she had to be 45 minutes away, 3 nights a week, for rehearsals. Since most of the rest of the cast were working adults, rehearsals didn't start until 7ish. "Ish" being the operative part. The last few weeks? 6 days a week, starting from 7ish and ending at 11ish. Plus the 45 minute ride home. By that point we had made the commitment, so it wasn't like she could simply decide not to do it. So I packed food, she packed homework, I had her wear sweats so she could just roll into bed when we got home. And for now, we stick to school shows, although I'm open to community theater more locally and depending on the rest of her schedule.

It does sound as though they got a lot more requests than normal for performances, and at the end of the day - that's bread in their basket. So I can understand that they'd be loathe to turn any down. Especially in this economy! Just as I can understand that this is more than you signed up for. But, given the nearness of the performances, I'd agree that you pretty much have to suck it up.

I would pack food for them - snacks with loads of energy potential, make sure you have a couple of pillows and blankets in the car in case they need a kip in between performances. Have them bring homework (at their ages, it shouldn't be too time-consuming, I wouldn't think) to work on while driving and/or between performances. And talk it up!

Once it's done, y'all can process the experience and decide if it's something you want to continue.

[lolar2]

I'm sure you need another commitment like a hole in the head, but.... It sounds as though, if they stay at this dance school much longer, you might have to appoint yourself the parent in charge of keeping everyone notified about everything by email.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mtiger

I suspect that, at one point or another, we parents get an unexpected - and not necessarily pleasant - surprise at the time suck some of our kids' activities can be. After the initial commitment, it's up to us to work out whether or not the activity can continue.

yep. My DD wanted to be in her school chess team. I was so pleased when she made it. Then I found out they have weekly tournaments at a high school in a rough neighborhood 35 mins away and I was responsible for picking her.

She was selected to be in the musical at the local high school when she was still in middle school -- very cool, until I found out that I had to make her costume.

My advice is that if you have kids who like to do things, just get used to it and learn to roll with it.

[NiteNicole]

For me, it would be too much. Unless my daughter really really loved it, I would be finding a more casual class for her. However, my experience is that competitive and performance groups take that stuff SUPER seriously so I would expect that level of time commitment in this kind of group. So while it's too much for me, it sounds about average for groups that perform or compete. They consider it a commitment and obligation, not just recreational fun.

[CarrieMF]

However, please keep in mind that we were told last year they had a total of 6 performances.

If they usually have the kids perform in Location 1, Location 2, Location 3 instead of all 3/4 locations then there would have been only 6 performances. There are only 6 performance days listed.

In December when they had 2 lined up, that was most likely all they had lined up at that point especially if at least 1 of these is in a nursing home.

[meemee]

OP what i am getting from you is that the dance company did not tell you all the details. and now they are expecting way more than you promised. so this is miscommunication and yes it would piss me off.

to answer the question i would say it depends on the child.

my dd is a performer. she finds an empty stage and seh is up there performing her own thing. she has been doing this since she was 18 months old. on her own. so for her that kind of schedule would be no big deal at all. she would love and revel in it. performing and getting accolades energizes her instead of tiring her. she rests better at night.

but your dd at least is not that enthusiastic in it. i would do what i am supposed to this time and perhaps before you sign up again make sure you know exactly what you have signed up for.

the money aspect would not upset me. there are hidden costs everywhere that you are not aware of. so their costs dont sound unreasonable to me - based on my experience with dance companies where i am. they earn all their money at certain times of the year and then have to sustain themselves over the rest of the year.

[aelf]

My daughter's in a chorus and sometimes performances make it difficult to get her homework in. I have written more than one note that said something like "My daughter's Girl Scout Chorus had the opportunity to sing at a local nursing home last night. It was fantastic; the girls got to meet the residents and share some conversation afterward. Unfortunately, my daughter was not able to do her homework. We practiced spelling words in the car, and the [name assignments] will be turned in [tomorrow, next monday]."

Her teachers have always been accommodating of this. (I'm sure it helps that otherwise, my daughter's very timely, and when we've done this we've turned her homework in when we said we would.)