How to handle this with school - WWYD?

[MtBikeLover]

I am absolutely beyond livid right now. My 7yo DS asked me today when football practice started. He seemed to be hesitating a little so I thought maybe he had decided he didn't want to play. So I said "Why? have you changed your mind about playing?" He said "No. Something happened at school today."

That something as it turns out was that he was held down in the boys bathroom by a kid because my son wouldn't be on his "team" at recess. When my son tried to get away, he wouldn't let him up. Apparently he also threw water at him. The boys friend was in the bathroom too so it could have been a lot worse. This is 1st Grade!!

So I am thinking DS wanted to know when football started so that he could learn how to defend himself and tackle.

I am so angry. I have the teachers cell phone and left her a message to call me immediately. I am going to call the principal in the morning. I've told DS that he can scream and yell if this happens again.

What else can I do?

[mkksmom]

Did he tell the teacher? If not, I think it's important to help him understand that this is a situation where the teacher needs to know right away. Beyond that, I'd give the teacher a chance to handle it (she may not be able to tell you exactly what the consequences are for the other child) and request that your son not be allowed alone in the bathroom with this boy without supervision.

[MtBikeLover]

Yes he told the teacher. She walked him to a couple of rooms to try to find out who the kid was, but the kid wasn't in the two rooms he was walked to. Beyond that, nothing that I know of is being done.

I would think that this is something parents would be made aware of by some kind of note being sent home to let me know about the incident, but maybe I am expecting too much?

[SunshineJ]

I'd inform the principal. The teacher may not mention it and may have already forgotten about it, but in most schools the principal will be livid and at least try to do something about it. I'm so glad your ds is ok - I have a feeling you'll be having nightmares about the "could have happened's" tonight. For your son, you may want to think about enrolling him in some type of martial arts so he not only learns how to defend himself in a relatively non-violent way (blocking and defracting vs punching) but also to rebuild his confidence a bit. That would shake anyone up!

[red17]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

I'd inform the principal. ... I'm so glad your ds is ok .... For your son, you may want to think about enrolling him in some type of martial arts so he not only learns how to defend himself in a relatively non-violent way (blocking and defracting vs punching) but also to rebuild his confidence a bit. That would shake anyone up!

Definitely a martial arts class to help him defend himself. My next door neighbor's DS has been taking Karate for a while. I have noticed that he is more respectful than he was (and he was a pretty respectful child as it was), and that he shows more compassion too. He was giving my daughter a "pep" talk since she is facing some bullying in her preschool class. That impressed me. After watching one of his Karate sessions, I saw first hand that they attempt to instill discipline and respect for others throughout their training.

I understand what you are going through. As I face the preschool bullying issues with my daughter, I am convinced that teachers in childhood Ed really need complete focus in order to catch all of the crud that goes on in a classroom. Teachers have so many chldren that if a "bully" has sneaked through the ranks previously undetected, the teacher may not even be aware that the child has shown these tendencies, (NOT an excuse, merely an observation).