My parenting skills sucked today.

[huggingmama]

DS is 4, no diagnosis yet but has been getting special services for 2 years at a preschool for students with special needs. Anyway, he just started a gymnastics class and tonight was his third time. It is so good for him, and he loves it so much, but the teachers don't know his situation and DH and I have been avoiding telling them for now. His biggest problem is dealing with other kids socially, and tonight the typical issues started surfacing... he wasn't getting enough attention from the teacher (she pays more attention to the girls who are good at the physical things), so he was pouting, making faces, touching other kids. The teacher talked to me afterwards: "Did he eat dinner?" "Did he just wake up from a nap?" I so wanted to say, "No, that's just my kid..." and explain... but I'm worried that they'll pull him out, and the physical activity is just amazing for him. But being the "bad kid" is going to make this an impossible situation anyway, I know.

My point is that I just had this moment, like, I am so not good at advocating well for my child. And to make matters worse, I reprimanded him, for longer than I should have, I know... I was just so frustrated. He got so upset that I was upset with him, he basically cried until he fell asleep tonight. I mean, he understood what he did wrong. Why did I have to keep pushing it?

Ugh. So I sucked as a mom today. Thanks for just letting me vent.

[Belia]

Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I get on MDC and it seems like everyone else so totally has their act together and lives these perfectly crunchy lives.... meanwhile, I am too lazy to even check "Playful Parenting" out of the library while I give my kid Chicken McNuggets for the third day in a row.

Anyway, I'm sorry you had a rough day. Here's to a better day tomorrow.

[huggingmama]

Thanks, Belia. I think we all have these days at times. Or at least, I hope we do so I'm not alone.

Yes, tomorrow will be better... it will, it will.

[~cassie~]

I am actually glad to see this, we had a BAD day here and I was so close to snapping and I'm sure that I crossed a line or two. I was coming here now to post about our night and try to get some ideas on dealing with mine.

[mrsfru]

Today was a good day, sort of...but yesterday I posted on my Facebook page that I was considering listing my kids on Ebay! You aren't alone.

My son is also 4 yrs. It's okay to tell people--they will be less frustrated (usually) and more helpful if you are upfront and teach them how to best communicate and work w/him. And if they are nasty about that, then you know right away that it isn't going to work. Gymnastics could be so beneficial for him, I wouldn't want to chance giving it up.

GL!

mrsfru

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Belia

Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I get on MDC and it seems like everyone else so totally has their act together and lives these perfectly crunchy lives.... meanwhile, I am too lazy to even check "Playful Parenting" out of the library while I give my kid Chicken McNuggets for the third day in a row.

Anyway, I'm sorry you had a rough day. Here's to a better day tomorrow.

Hi. I'm Harper and my kids live on *I mean, love* McDonald's.

I have a personal copy of Playful Parenting. Have I read it? No. I've thumbed through it. I don't even know where it is.

I'm flying by the seat of my pants usually. I have a storyboard up for Max (he has Aspergers) but I don't often refer to it. I should. It would save my voice.

We all have bad days when we suck at parenting.

[aslyn]

I just wanted to send hugs! We ALL have those days. With a sn dd and 2 younger sons there are days when I feel like my head is going to start spinning. Then there are those days when my kids for whatever reason can make me smile and think I wouldnt change it for the world!

Good luck mamma

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by HarperRose

Hi. I'm Harper and my kids live on *I mean, love* McDonald's.

I have a personal copy of Playful Parenting. Have I read it? No. I've thumbed through it. I don't even know where it is.

I'm flying by the seat of my pants usually. I have a storyboard up for Max (he has Aspergers) but I don't often refer to it. I should. It would save my voice.

We all have bad days when we suck at parenting.

(my kids too)

OP: Between your pregnancy hormones and your stress/exhaustion from just being a mommy, let alone a special needs mommy, it's perfectly understandable that you don't have perfect mommy days every day!! Just apologize to him, and move on. I think the apologizing is important, keep it simple and just say "Mommy was really grumpy last night, I'm very sorry that I yelled at you, yelling isn't nice and I should know better. Can I have a hug?"

And I think that you should tell the instructor. They won't kick him out (you're paying, right?) but they might be more likely to focus on him a bit and they might have some ideas on how to help him. I coached gymnastics, and I had a mom come up to me half way through the year and explain that her dd's physical therapist had suggested gymnastics to work on her balance and coordination because she had seizures. I hadn't known! So I knew from then on what to focus on, and I was able to show the mom some things they could do at home.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

And I think that you should tell the instructor.

agreed. may be write a short note if that would be easier. When my DD was in gymnastics, I wrote something like:

"Dd has sensory issues as well as a few other challanges. This class is super good for her and has theraputic value for her even though she thinks she is just here for fun! She may not improve much, but going through the motions is very good for her. Please show her extra patience.

THANK YOU!"

Her teachers were super sweet to her.

[Linda on the move]

you also might call around and see if you can find a boys only class. Our gym had one (taught by a young man) that was really, uh, a place your son would blend right in! It was like a special place for very bouncy boys with no focus. They all kinda looked like this:

[laila2]

Bad morning hear

I called them brats.

I will post separately because I want to vent


http://www.mothering.com/discussions...9#post15144369

[earthmama4]

Originally Posted by mrsfru

Today was a good day, sort of...but yesterday I posted on my Facebook page that I was considering listing my kids on Ebay! You aren't alone.

I have said that exact thing!

OP: I would tell the teachers your son's struggles. As a EC teacher I do loads better with handling challenging kids when I know the whole story. They seem very kind and child-centered based on their questions about his sleep or needing to eat or whatnot.

[clicksab]

Originally Posted by Belia

Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I get on MDC and it seems like everyone else so totally has their act together and lives these perfectly crunchy lives.... meanwhile, I am too lazy to even check "Playful Parenting" out of the library while I give my kid Chicken McNuggets for the third day in a row.

Yay, I'm not alone!!!!

OP, I pretty much agree with everyone else here...try not to be too hard on yourself, and tell the instructor so they can help your DS get the most out of his class. And remember, you ARE a good mom! We all have our days.

[karne]

I came here a few weeks ago, beating myself up over what felt like a horrible failure of empathy on my part toward my dd. I was literally sick about it. Please be gentle with yourself. It happens-we're only human. It isn't our kids' toatal experience of us, remember that. It looks brighter in the AM, I promise!

[huggingmama]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

agreed. may be write a short note if that would be easier. When my DD was in gymnastics, I wrote something like:

"Dd has sensory issues as well as a few other challanges. This class is super good for her and has theraputic value for her even though she thinks she is just here for fun! She may not improve much, but going through the motions is very good for her. Please show her extra patience.

THANK YOU!"

Her teachers were super sweet to her.

Wow, thanks everyone for your wonderful posts, and for recommending that I tell the teacher. Linda, I really like this note and I will probably bring it to the teacher; it's perfect. It doesn't go into huge details, but makes the point. THANK YOU!

I will see if we can get a boys' class. It's slim pickings where we are, but I wonder if I can also talk to the teachers about how they split the class, too. It's a class of 10 kids that they split into 2 groups of 5 each week (same groups). However, the other group of 5 has 2 boys and 3 girls, while his group has 4 girls and him. So maybe they could put the 2 boys together, or at least put him with another boy.