Table manners for a 6 year old - Page 3

[velochic]

Originally Posted by mamazee

No it's not the same at all. No one language is better than another, and one style of eating is also not better than another. English is not a better language, nor is it worse, and the American style of eating isn't better, but it isn't "unmannerly" either.

You have your opinion and I have mine (ETA: opinions in regards to table manners, not language). I'm glad what you do (and think) works for you and what we do (and think) works for us.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by velochic

As a pp said, we've taught dd the "European" way of eating with the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right hand. We also consider it unmannerly to swap utensils from hand to hand all the time when eating and cutting food with the side of the fork

Originally Posted by velochic

While the European way of holding utensils is not rude in the US, the constant swapping of utensils, proping them on the table, using the side of the fork, etc. is considered unmannerly in my dh's culture (and it's noisy at the table).

Originally Posted by mamazee

No it's not the same at all. No one language is better than another, and one style of eating is also not better than another. English is not a better language, nor is it worse, and the American style of eating isn't better, but it isn't "unmannerly" either.

LOL - and the European style isn't considered particularly mannerly in Asia, where having to use a knife at the table at all is frowned upon.

Hence, all food is cut into bite-sized portions before it's cooked and the use of chopsticks is de rigueur at the table. Of course, there is a whole set of proper manners for the use of chopsticks, which are regularly violated by Europeans and North Americans both.

OP - I agree that gentle instruction and reinforcement of manners is necessary and appropriate starting from toddler age. People should adjust their expectations of how well a child can perform according to age and development. By age 6, I would expect a certain level of ability in some basics - certainly, keeping your mouth closed when you chew, unless, as others have suggested, there is a congestion problem.

[minkleaf]

After frequent gently reminders, my 6 and 3 year olds often chew with their lips closed. I phrase it as lips rather than mouth, because my literal 3 year old looked at me like "Are you crazy mom? How can I chew with my mouth closed?" I also use the 'to keep food from falling out of you mouth' angle rather than just politeness or not grossing out the other diners. I also emphasize that manners are necessary for restaurants and friends houses.

A few months ago we ate dinner at a friend's house. I was amazed at the 6 year old, she used her utensils, ate all her food without complaint, and chewed with her lips closed. I though she must have really liked the food and I was asking for the recipies when she told me she was actually being polite because it was someone else's house. So even if they don't necessarily use propper manners all the time at home, they sometimes can pull them out in appropriate situations.

[red17]

Originally Posted by builtontherock

And for everyone that mentioned the congestion...y'all are spot on. How soon I forget that she is chronically congested. (allegies) Doh! That is quite obviously a huge part of the problem,..poor thing. We had gotten some local honey and put it in her oatmeal, but I'm not sure it helps much if any, and a while back we were giving her children's Zyrtec..but were never very consistent...we probably need to start her back up on that.

I feel kind of bad for being frustrated with her when it was more a matter of our absentmindedness than anything...I'm just glad I wasn't too hard on her.

Honestly, it's tough being a parent when you're this scatterbrained

Glad you realized what was the true issue. Were/Are you consistent with the Honey?? At least 1-2 Tablespoons should help... over a months time you should see some change.

About the closing of the mouth, children are all different. That said, my 4.5 yr old dd keeps her mouth closed, eats with her fork, and upon sitting down at the table gives me her knife. I too was raised by two europeans, so as soon as I feel she can weild the knife, it will be returned to her and proper holding/cutting will begin. .. though she is left-uhanded and I am not so it could be a bit of a challenge.

Good luck with the chewing issues. Setting expectations high sometimes is the only way to let a child surprise us!!