Am I Not Flexible Enough with my Midwife? - Page 2

[laohaire]

When I was getting prenatal care, it wouldn't have been a problem at all if my midwife made requests like these. However, the manner in which she made the requests would have had a big impact on how I felt about them. What you described, that would have annoyed me bigtime.

First, she phrases it in a way that makes it all about her. Since she's asking you for a favor, it should be phrased like that, not like a "routine rescheduling."

Second, she should not be routinely rescheduling inconvenient appointments. Either she needs to figure out what's convenient in the first place better, or she needs to just suck it up and do the appointments she makes. Once, fine (and with big apologies) but routinely is crazy.

I would be fine if she said something like "Hey, I actually am going to be in your area today. I know our appointment is tomorrrow but I was just wondering if it would be convenient for you to move it to today? ... Oh, no problem, I'll just see you tomorrow, just wanted to check!" That places the emphasis on your convenience, she gracefully accepts that it's not convenient for you, and she keeps her previous appointment with you.

[McMandy]

It sounds to me, after reading all of your posts, that your midwife is really irresponsible with her time. This comes off as very disrespectful. When people act like this (rescheduling often, being late or forgetting appointments) it really shows that they don't respect your time- and your midwife has made it pretty clear that HER time is very valuable, but your time.. not so much.

This would anger me. Is it possible to switch this far into the game? I would take your concerns to your midwife and say, "I don't know what to do, but you seem to have too much on your plate. Maybe I should switch midwives."

If you've already paid, she should refund part of your money.

This also reminds me that, after the births, we need to make sure that we fill out reviews on our midwives- whether they were fantastic or horrible... and include these tidbits as well as how hands off/on they were and how nurturing they seemed to be.

During my first visit, my MW gave me a paper with a website on it and told me I should go there after the birth to do a survey on the care I received. Most midwives have something like this.

If not, there are TONS of places online to leave reviews- and I encourage it.