Schedule versus Free Range - what's your take?

[MyZymurgy]

I kind of do a combo with my DS (18 months), with probably more free range than schedule.

I'm interested to hear from other parents of toddlers. Do you have a scheduled day, or do you just let your kid (for the most part) free range and stay spontaneous? What are the advantages or disadvantages you see to either approach?

I am considered doing more of a schedule, because I do think DS likes some amount of predictability... but I wanted to hear opinions on the good and bad of scheduling the day as I mull this over.


(By "schedule" I mean doing activities on certain days or in certain order, not just meaning a strict follow-the-clock type of schedule. By "free range" I mean following the kid's lead for what he feels like doing that day, or at that moment. (Within reason - obviously we need to make time for diaper changes, and errands etc.) It could mean an entire day of fingerpainting, or it could mean going from one thing to another in rapid succession... just whatever floats his boat.)


Thanks - I'd LOVE to hear your opinions and experiences!!!

[calebsmommy25]

I think free range play is very important, but also believe some sort of schedule is as well. I am not in complete favor of micro managing ever single second of every single day, but like you said certain activities on specific days.

This is how our 'schedule' is for the winter:

Monday-bounce house place, museum, game places, something all of us can enjoy together on dp's day off

Tuesday-Sciencenter

Wednesday-free day, normally just at home

Thursday-Play group at a local youth center

Friday-book store for reading and playing

Saturday-Play group at a local youth center

Sunday-Family day, whatever that may be

Anywhere in between we bake, color, free play, grocery shop, walk/play outside when it isn't super cold, etc.

I'll write more later. nak

[redvlagrl]

The only 'scheduling' we do is nap and bedtime (12 noon and 7pm). We just go with the flow for everything else, though we do have a playgroup on Mondays.

We generally go out in the mornings as nap length is variable so it's hard to plan ahead for the afternoons.

[kittykat2481]

During the week DS goes to preschool, so we basically just get up, have breakfast, and go. Other than that though, we have a basic rhythm of breakfast, nap around noon, dinner around 5, and bedtime around 7:30. Snacks, activities, playing, pottying, etc happen at different times under different circumstances, based on the mood and desires of DS.

[sapphire_chan]

I've been trying to get meals ready by a set time so they're available for us to eat when she starts getting hungry. If I wait until she actually is hungry she'll only want certain foods, but if I offer as she starts to get hungry she'll try (and enjoy ) more things.

And we go to a few regular activities and have a few regular weekly chores.

For me, going with what she feels like is sooo much easier than planning or trying to follow even a basic schedule.

[Summersquash]

We are pretty free range. Tumbling class on Thursday mornings, and I like to take her to storytime at the library a couple times a week if she's in the mood. Nap is usually beginning around 11 and I try to take her out to do something in the afternoons. Otherwise she just plays with what she feels like at the moment.

Lately I've been wanting to show her more stuff though. Things like playdoh, sponges and water, etc. I feel like she always chooses the same activities (drawing is the hit right now) so I want to give her some chances to experience new stuff.

[MeAndVee]

During the infant stage everything was scheduled. Mostly because I needed it more than him. I was going through PPD and had all kinds of worries. Like OMG what if I forget to feed him!?!?! Yeah, like he would let me? So feedings and sleepings and going out where all at the same time everday. As he got older and my health improved I began to relax. Now the only things we do at the same time everyday is meals and even that isn't set in stone. Pretty much just going with what feels right at any given moment. He is happy, I am happy...and at the end of the day that is all I am hoping for!

[KempsMama]

We have routines for meals and sleep time, and Wednesday and Sundays are church days, so we have that routine as well. Other than that, LO leads the way. A lot depends on the weather, as he likes to spend 90% of his time outdoors, whenever possible. On days when that isn't possible, I have to work very hard to keep him distracted from that fact!!

Things will probably change a little this fall, as I'm due with #2 in August and I plan to add some homeschooling preschool to our routine once I settle into a good routine with the new Bubble. (Wishful thinking, possibly, but DS is going to be ready for some more structured learning I believe)

We don't do any classes or anything as the only thing available in my area is a Mommy and Me class that is frequented by the MOST mainstream mothers in the area, and we just don't fit. We have several friends or family members we get together with on a regular basis for play time though, so things have worked out well.

[SparklingGemini]

I prefer to think sort of Waldorfy and we have a daily rhythm versus a set schedule.

For example, wake up, eat breakfast, do an outside activity, have a quiet indoor activity, eat lunch, nap and whatever.

But within the activities, its pretty much free play and time.

And we have set things that we do on set days. Library storytimes. Dance class. Baking day. Laundry day. Etc.

Its all evolved sort of naturally and nothing has been forced. It works for us.

[BetsyS]

We have a daily schedule, I'd say.

My kids wake at the same time every day. Meals are around the same time, naps are around the same time (5 out of 7 days or so). We tend to go out in the mornings, if we're going. We leave the house several times a week, but we stay home at least 2 weekdays. Evenings tend to run the same from day to day, with supper/bath/play with daddy/bed happening about 5 out of 7 days. We have a set bedtime, and I'd say they are in bed within 15 minutes on either side probably 5 or 6 days a week.

My 3 year old always wants to know, "what's next?" Sometimes, it means for all of today, and sometimes, he means for the rest of the week. So, I keep a running plan in my head to let him know what's coming. It seems to make him a calmer, happier person to know what's coming up.

[Heidi74]

Like others, we have a very loose schedule. He wakes up, goes down for nap and goes to bed at roughly the same time every day. We usually have some sort of activity that takes us out of the house--either before or after nap. Mondays and Thursdays it's an early childhood program, Fridays we stay home and clean the house (except for a short playtime outside), and Tuesdays and Wednesdays we go to the playground. I also work in a minimum of 30 minutes of outdoor time every day, unless someone is sick or there is a blizzard. It may just be playing outside our building or a walk around th block. If we go to the playground, we're outside for at least an hour. We have playdates occasionally (would like to do more of those), bake once a week, and do laundry twice a week. He likes to participate in all those.

When we have breakfast, we talk about what we will do that day and when we will do the various things. But other than that, he's mostly on his own. He listens to a lot of books on tape, I read to him, we sing together and do the very occasional craft, but he also does a lot of free play.

[mommariffic]

I love the IDEA of a schedule, but ours is really loose

Each day I have "stuff" I'd like to do: a certain craft, baking, or an outing like a museum trips or a class that I've signed us up for. The times we do that can be really whenever DD feels like it! If she's engrossed in play or wants to read I'm going to let her have a say.

Bedtime and meals are routine because it's just easier for us - wake up around 7:45-8, dinner at 5ish and bedtime at 7:30.


An example would be: this Monday I want to bake whole wheat chocolate chip muffins for our sweet this week, go to the park, get some work done and do a seasons craft. Whenever we get those done between 8am and bedtime is fine with me

[Llyra]

DD1 is in school so it's different for her-- her day is really scheduled, because of her school schedule. But when she's home, I try not to manage her time at all, because she really needs the time to unwind.

For the two still at home, it's kind of what I think of as a free-for-all inside of a structured box.

Certain things in my house are very scheduled-- we eat our meals at the same time every day, with the same before-meal "rituals." Our snacks are roughly scheduled. We follow the same routine for getting dressed in the early morning, and the same routine for bathing and winding down at bedtime. We have scheduled cleanup times during the day, when everybody must participate in tidying. We have fairly strict bedtimes.

The rest of the time, the kids basically do what they want to do while I get my work done. They play, and I work, and we stay close to each other and chat and help each other a bit and admire each other's work occasionally. If I need to go to the farmer's market or the dairy or the grocery store or something, they come with me on that, and we'll always do it between about 10 and 11 am, when the stores are open but they're not too hungry or tired yet.

So basically, I structure eating, sleeping, bathing, and getting dressed, but the rest of the time, they have they just range around and do their thing-- inside and out.

The only organized "activity" we do is a Music Together class once a week, and church/Sunday school on Sunday. I don't really get too involved in their play at all otherwise, or try to lead organized kinds of play. They go outside when they want to, and inside they play what they want to when they want to. I do try to keep the environment uncluttered and quiet, which I think is all the structure they need for playtime.

My two who are at home with me still are 3-- they're twins.

[calebsmommy25]

Originally Posted by mommariffic

I love the IDEA of a schedule, but ours is really loose

Each day I have "stuff" I'd like to do: a certain craft, baking, or an outing like a museum trips or a class that I've signed us up for. The times we do that can be really whenever DD feels like it! If she's engrossed in play or wants to read I'm going to let her have a say.

Bedtime and meals are routine because it's just easier for us - wake up around 7:45-8, dinner at 5ish and bedtime at 7:30.


An example would be: this Monday I want to bake whole wheat chocolate chip muffins for our sweet this week, go to the park, get some work done and do a seasons craft. Whenever we get those done between 8am and bedtime is fine with me

This is how I feel! I like to make a mental list for the day, like yours above of what I want to accomplish in a day (or by the next) and as long as it is done by the time I go to bed (or dp gets home...) I'm a happy camper! MMm...And those ww chocolate chip muffins sound divine!

[jpaigeadams]

I think it all depends on your and your kid's temperaments. Some kids really need a set routine, daily/weekly, while others don't. Likewise, some moms really need a set routine, and others don't. I think MOST families probably have some sort of routine involving wake up, meals, naps, and bedtime, with in btwn times more variable. And I think it also depends on the season. In warmer weather, we just rotate parks every afternoon, while in the dead of winter, we do more art projects, library story time, and jumping on the mattress on the floor in the afternoons. The key is to listen/observe your child: they will "tell" you what they need. And do the same for yourself!

[starling&diesel]

We have a rhythm to the day ... wake, eat, outing to the park or family-drop in or swimming or library, nap, eat, outing to one of the above, nap, eat, hang out, bath, bedtime. So we get around a lot, but not to any 'activity' per se ... except for swimming and story time. We usually spend a couple of hours at the park everyday, and she just does her own thing. Same at Family Place, she does her own thing there. And at home, she busies herself with whatever. All of this is interspersed with lots of nursing.

[blizzard_babe]

Well, we have a 'routine' when it comes to mealtimes, naptimes, bedtimes, etc... but they're also needs-based, like if he's just not hungry at mealtime, we're not gonna force it, or if he's sleepy earlier, we're not going to make him hold out until a certain time to fall asleep. It helps that DS wakes himself up at the same time every morning (between 6:45 and 7:15, no matter how early or late his bedtime), so we're usually starting out from a pretty consistent starting point.

[rightkindofme]

We have a fairly consistent bedtime and wake up time for our toddler. Outside of that we are basically entirely free range. We decide what to do as the mood spurs us. We don't have any set outside activities at all.

[Emmery'sMom]

I have a 13 month old. The only thing that is scheduled here is naptime, dinner and bedtime. The rest she directs. We really don't go out often either, or if we do not for long because it upsets her- she wants to be at home doing her thing with her stuff. She's a homebody like us.

[PatchChild]

We loosely schedule. Meals and sleep are pretty tightly consistent. DS needs it or he is totally grouchy and thrown off. We have some weekly groups that schedule us as well. Monday Wednesday morning play groups, Saturday library trip. Our time beyond much of that is very open.