Would you leave a responsible 9yo and 5.5yo at home alone for about 10 minutes? - Page 2

[honeybunmom]

To go next door, probably . . . but to buckle up and drive away in my car, even though it's only a mile away, no.

[Mama~Love]

Yes, I would, and have. Better throw my butt in jail, then, what an awful mom I am .

[sapphire_chan]

Is it legal in your state? Knowing what me and my little brother were like at those ages, I probably would be okay with leaving them, but I'd want to be sure it was legal.

Also, do you have lots of neighbors at home that they know? We had a printout with all the names and numbers in the neighborhood so, even though it never ever came up, we would've been able to call across the street or down the block for help.

[eclipse]

I voted yes. I would leave my 9 yo and my 6 yo for a short time, but I wouldn't leave my 4.5 year old with my 9 year old, as they fight a lot and 4.5 year old is difficult to handle. 6 yo and 4.5 yo would not allow me to leave them, either. That's particular to my kids, though. My MIL lives only a few blocks away, so she could easily check on them. I have no idea if it's illegal where I live, but I suspect not. Mexico has kids in much more dire situations than being left in the supervision of an older sibling for 10 minutes while mom runs to the bank/store.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by Autumn Breeze

However, in most states it is illegal to leave a child under a certain age, with a younger child.

I believe there are only TWO out of FIFTY states that have any such laws and they are MD and IL.

[skueppers]

I wouldn't do it because it's illegal here in Maryland. If it were legal, I probably would do it if I thought the kids in question could handle it.

[Drummer's Wife]

Nope, wouldn't do it. (and I do have a 9 and 5 yo.)

[velochic]

Nope.

[kirstenb]

I would be okay with leaving a responsible mature 9 yo for a short period of time, but I would be bringing the younger sibling. I also like the idea of alerting someone you trust that you are leaving so they can check in and make sure you got back in a reasonable period of time.

[annethcz]

Originally Posted by Llyra

So cautiously yes. But I also know my standards of "safe" often differ from the mainstream. Most people think I'm crazy under-protective...

I find that standards are different in small-town rural than they were in middle-class suburbia. What was considered underprotective in the affluent suburbs is considered normal in the more rural area that I now live in.

I also find it telling that they majority of VOTERS say that they'd do it, but most of the posters say they wouldn't.

[eepster]

I would leave them if I was running out to do something on foot, but if it was somewhere I needed to drive to, I wouldn't. I live in a crowded suburbs with busy streets, and driving anywhere always involves traffic lights and such, i's never just down the road.

[philomom]

Here's the thing. What if.. in that one mile and 15 minute trip to the ATM... you had a car accident? Your kids could be alone for hours before you regain consciousness or your spouse returns home to find your alone, unfed worried sick offspring.

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by philomom

Here's the thing. What if.. in that one mile and 15 minute trip to the ATM... you had a car accident? Your kids could be alone for hours before you regain consciousness or your spouse returns home to find your alone, unfed worried sick offspring.

And what if your kids were with you when you were in that accident? If it was serious enough for you to be unconscious for hours, they'd be worried sick then, too - and they might also be badly injured themselves.

[sapphire_chan]

What if you got held up by a parade,
who caused all the birds to start to tweet
And no one all all could come to your aid
to think that you saw it on Mulberry street!

[*bejeweled*]

No way would I leave them alone. It's too easy for kids that age to jump in the car for a quick ride to the ATM.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by philomom

Here's the thing. What if.. in that one mile and 15 minute trip to the ATM... you had a car accident? Your kids could be alone for hours before you regain consciousness or your spouse returns home to find your alone, unfed worried sick offspring.

This puzzles me greatly. If you told your children you would only be gone for a few minutes and were gone significantly longer, eventually one would expect that the kids would notice. My 7 yr old can tell time well enough on the microwave (still working on traditional) so I'd expect a 9 yr old could do the same. Wouldn't most kids CALL someone? Would they really sit there stewing all day long worried? I know mine would be on the phone to me, and if they couldn't get me, then anyone they could starting with their dad if I was 5 min past due!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

This puzzles me greatly. If you told your children you would only be gone for a few minutes and were gone significantly longer, eventually one would expect that the kids would notice. My 7 yr old can tell time well enough on the microwave (still working on traditional) so I'd expect a 9 yr old could do the same. Wouldn't most kids CALL someone? Would they really sit there stewing all day long worried? I know mine would be on the phone to me, and if they couldn't get me, then anyone they could starting with their dad if I was 5 min past due!

this.

i have left my 7 year old ALONE happily immersed in what she was doing. the front door was open. my next door neighbour knew. dd has a list of people to call in case she gets scared. the couple of times i have done it she hasnt even noticed i was gone. she'd lift her eyes and say you are back already?!!!

[velochic]

Originally Posted by annethcz

I find that standards are different in small-town rural than they were in middle-class suburbia. What was considered underprotective in the affluent suburbs is considered normal in the more rural area that I now live in.

I think it REALLY depends on the family. I don't think you can even generalize country vs. city. I grew up in a very, very rural area with a paternal family of farmers, who to this day farm, and they were/are considered overprotective by even the most urban of people. I was in Jr. high, 13 years old when I finally convinced my parents that I might not need an after-school babysitter... since it was my classmates that were calling about the advertised job!! (All of the families that owned and operated farms were much more overprotective than the parents who lived "in town". My best friend was a townie, her parents teachers, and she was free to do whatever she wanted years before I ever was.)

While I'm much less protective, I'm still much more so than others I know. We live in a small town not too far from a metropolis. Not a suburb, but an old-fashioned little town. I know that if we were back on the farm, I'd probably be even more protective. I got hurt A LOT more living rurally than dd has living in a less rural area.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by meemee

i have left my 7 year old ALONE happily immersed in what she was doing. the front door was open.

This seems more unsafe than the leaving at home alone. I'm trying to think of a housing situation where this would be better than teaching your child to keep the doors locked, don't answer the door, and making sure they know that anyone who needs to get into the house would have a key. For us, that includes our next door neighbors. They have our key and if I asked them to keep an eye on her, they would unlock the door themselves.

But driving off and leaving your house and small child completely open to whatever... I'm sorry, but I can't wrap my head around how that is safe in any way. Where I live, the child would be taken into protective services in a heartbeat in that situation if it were discovered. No parent, open door... they'd jump on neglect charges immediately.

[kyndmamaof4]

Originally Posted by philomom

Here's the thing. What if.. in that one mile and 15 minute trip to the ATM... you had a car accident? Your kids could be alone for hours before you regain consciousness or your spouse returns home to find your alone, unfed worried sick offspring.

I have to say..what if could happen in the grocery parking lot. I've been nearly hit a couple of times while returning the cart...my kids are strapped in alone for that 30 seconds. The same could happen then, and they would be stuck in a locked car in their carseats..for who know show long...who knows how bad that could be..heat...etc.

I would feel much safer leaving them at home for 10 minutes than in a locked car. Oh, and I've left my almost 11 yo with my 7 yo a few times..they just chill till I get back..I take the 4 and 5 yo with me.