Speech delays

[jlatels]

Hi, looking for advice from BTDT moms. My son just turned 17 months and was recently evaluated by EI. Turns out he qualified for services because he was dx at 33% for speech delay. I guess I really have two concerns I would like feedback on:

1) At the evaluation, the SLP remarked that he failed the pretend play test. It never occurred to me to pretend play with him, actually; he doesn't have a doll and doesn't like stuffed animals, so we never pretend played with him. Anyway, after she left we took out a teddy bear and mimed feeding him a few times and lo and behold he now does it. Would he still have failed if I just took five minutes to feed the stuffed animal? I mean, I know he failed in other areas, but this brings me to my fear that I am not doing enough for my child. I have a friend whose son is three months younger and she's always talking about classes, speaking to him in Spanish, getting him into these enrichment programs, etc. All along I thought it was unnecessary as I think a 17 month old does not need to be enriched. But here I am with the child who is delayed and hers is doing fine.

2) Is delayed speech indicative of an overall slowness? I am so worried about him. He doesn't really say anything, just a lot of BA and DA sounds, and maybe MAMA if I am lucky. For the longest time his only clear "word" was DUH for any four legged animal. Recently, within the last couple of weeks ago, he has shown a lot of progress (right after he learned to walk). He can sign Eat and More. He'll sometimes say Mama if prompted (and always when he's crying). Ba refers to a lot of things, but I think I can discern Ball and Bubbles and Bath. But he'll also say it randomly, so I'm not sure he gets "credit" for that.

Anyway, I just got the evaluation in the mail tonight so a lot of thoughts in my head and I would appreciate yours. TY.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by jlatels

1) At the evaluation, the SLP remarked that he failed the pretend play test.

evaluations are funny things -- they are just a little snap shot of a few things in one moment in time. For a child who truly has special needs that will impact their life, they end up with lots of evaluations .

Some little thing that your child hadn't been exposed to but quickly caught on to doesn't mean much in the big picture. If your child hadn't caught on when exposed, or needed lots and lots and lots of exposure to catch on, it might mean something.

but this brings me to my fear that I am not doing enough for my child.

this one messes with my head. Based on how one of my kids is doing, I'm a great parent. Based on how the other one is doing, I'm a failure. Oddly, I spend far more time and energy and patience on the child who isn't doing well.

Frankly, one of my kids would do just fine with very mediocore parenting, and my other child needs really stellar parenting and still struggles. I always fear that I'm not doing enough, or not doing the right thing.

You are most likely already doing a wonderful job as a mom, and yet you may find out that you need to do something more or something different. It doesn't mean that you weren't already doing a great job, it just means that your child needs something a little different.

2) Is delayed speech indicative of an overall slowness? I am so worried about him.

no and yes. Many, many kids have speech delays who are bright. And many kids who aren't so bright have speech delays. Einstein had speech delays.

My child with sn had speech delays, and now we are finding out that she is gifted as well as having atypical autism, which is kinda of a surprise, but there you have it.

[Fay]

Great response, Linda!

I want to add that the book "Play to Talk" by MacDonald is terrific for encouraging speech in toddlers. His methods are all attachment-based, scientifically proven, easy to read & integrate into everyday situations with a toddler. Many public libraries carry that title because so many EI programs use it. If you are interested in learning about doing play therapy at home, there's a nice, short article on the subject in the book "My Baby Rides The Short Bus" written by a MDC mama.

Every child has different developmental needs. Best wishes on your journey.

[khaoskat]

I think it will all depend upon the reason for your child's speech delay.

In our case it is Childhood Apraxia of Speech, and often times these kids also suffer from dyslexia, but are very bright at the same time. We have already noticed that at his last parent-teacher conference at his private pre-school program his progress on stuff is even more significant than his brothers was at the same time.

There are many times he will often not show what he knows, and pretend he doesn't know his name. DS2, my special needs child, handwriting is 100x better than his older brothers was at the same age. As a matter of fact, except that he writes it backwards at times, his ability to write his name is completely legible. The only letter he has a problem with is the "d", and if you have an example of one for him, he can do it himself after you showing it to him once.

He can also some basic additional and subtraction.

Plus, we allow all our kids to watch sesame street, dora, and diego, and even handy many, and all three are picking Spanish fairly well for their respective ages. Even with his Speech Delay, he even says a few words in spanish.

[sbgrace]

I don't feel like I can add anything for you but I wanted to welcome you to the board. Evaluations are always hard and always, always worried me. They usually sound worse than they really performed and it truly is a snapshot in time. Is he pretending otherwise--like holding an shoe like a phone or imitating cooking or something like that? Pretend play should be in place by 18 months and it isn't normally a matter of exposure but something kids naturally develop when they are ready. One of mine didn't! But I also had to teach him to point to things and wave. It's sort of the same. But I wouldn't worry at this point about the pretending. You'll probably see that develop soon.

It really sounds like he's got a good start on talking. You're doing the right thing seeking help of course but it sounds like he's got the idea and that is the big thing! Speech delays do not mean lack of intelligence. Some kids are just delayed and they catch up, some kids have another underlying something going on (again not necessarily intelligence related), some there may be intelligence issues. The biggest group of kids are going to be in that first category.

[jlatels]

Thank you, ladies, for your feedback. It's really hard on me right now but it feels great to have your support and kindness.