Scared to co sleep with him now?

[lemontree]

Let me start by saying that no one I know IRL co sleeps and my sister calls it "tantamount to murder" so MDC is the only place I can find reassurance on many of my parenting choices.

So please reassure me.

DS is 5 mths old tomorrow. I have posted about his recent squirming and kicking. Last week I brought back the swaddle for naps and things really changed for us. I had stopped swaddling months ago because he always fought loose. Now, swaddled, he began to sleep more during the day, fuss less etc. For the past few nights he was unable to settle when I took him into bed so I swaddled him and he went right to sleep. The all night nursing and changing boobs would loosen the swaddle and I would take it away sometime in the night. Around 5 am he gets really very restless. This morning at 6 am I thought that maybe I would reswaddle him to get him to settle. I sat up to get the blanket and he rolled onto his stomach and was still, sleeping. For some reason this FREAKED ME OUT. I sat up watching him breathe for 45 min until he woke up happy for the day. He rolls over during the day, but it's quite a production-it doesn't seem smooth.

I understand that if he rolls there it's fine, and how my mom put me on my tummy for sleep every night....but is tummy sleeping ok if we cosleep? It seemed to soothe his restlessness....but why does it feel so dangerous? His mouth is so close to the mattress and I am scared that he will smother - or that my body will make it so he can't breathe somehow. In a crib, there are no pillow or bodies - just him, you know? I can't really explain my fears but I know that they are powerful enough to make me strongly consider stopping co sleeping (which I LOVE) Also, I feel like I need to loose the swaddle because as he is becoming more mobile and breaks loose the muslin blanket becomes a suffocation risk. No? Yes?

[Super~Single~Mama]

My baby tummy sleeps sometimes. We just stopped worrying about it!

I wouldn't worry. And your sister is wrong - co-sleeping is not tantamount to murder - its just a different method of sleep than she's used to.

[lemontree]

Thanks. I know she is wrong, but it is tough when that is the voice you hear most often is contradicting your own instincts etc you know?

[Super~Single~Mama]

Yeah, I know. I always have everyone telling me I'm doing things wrong too. Just think about how you're following your instincts, and how happy your baby is.

And, stop discussing sleep with people who don't respect the way you do it. That makes it lots easier to ignore their opinions!

[lovepiggie]

My DS has started rolling onto his tummy too while sleeping! And it worries me as well. He usually only does it early in the morning, after his dad has left the bed.

I think you should trust your mommy instincts. Keep him swaddled when you go to bed, and if he breaks free, maybe wiggle it down so it's away from his face/arms? Or just pull it aside, and keep in on the other side from you, in case you need to reswaddle him during the night.

I know how you feel about being surrounded by people who don't agree with you! Out of all the new moms I know IRL, I'm the only one breastfeeding/cosleeping/cloth diapering... So I don't talk to those moms about it, I talk to these moms!

[noobmom]

I actually did just read an article by Dr. James McKenna and in it he said that tummy sleeping + cosleeping is not safe. You said he rolled over when you sat it. Was it because your shifting weight in the bed made him roll towards you--or did he roll completely independently on a flat surface?

I've co-slept with both my child and put them on their sides because they hate sleeping on their backs. Would your baby sleep on his side?

[lemontree]

Kind of-I sat up and maybe my body had left a slight "ramp" for him to roll into. But he was (and has been) very restless early in the morning, squirming, kicking, rolling to find my nipple only to fling himself back onto his back- without nursing--and as soon as he rolled onto his belly he was still. He usually sleeps on his side to nurse and flops onto his back sometimes. Or he turns his head when laying on his back to nurse...but more and more often its on his side.

My concern is that he was so comfortable on his belly - it was early morning like a PP said, which is what scared me. If he were in a crib and rolled onto his belly I'd be less afraid. I mean, what if he has been trying to roll over all these mornings and I'm in his way? And if he makes tummy sleep a habit, I am afraid that my nearness to him presents a danger.

[mamadelbosque]

My DS2 sleeps on his tummy probably 70% of the time, maybe 20% on his side (facing me) and maybe 10% on his back. He just doesn't sleep on his back - and I don't blame him a bit cause' neither do I!! He's been tummy sleeping with me since a couple weeks old.

[lguse]

I don't know about the swaddling, because we never did it, but I've been cosleeping with DD on her belly from birth. She seemed happier that way and I just went with it.

If he's mobile enough to be wiggling all over the place, then I wouldn't worry about him turning to get more air.

I think a lot of parenting "differently" in this crazy world is about learning to quiet all the nonsense that we hear from well-meaning people so that we can really listen to ourselves.

Good luck, mama

[kcstar]

"Back to sleep" is about reducing SIDS. SIDS happens most often between 2 and 4 months of age, and drops off significantly at 6 months.

One of the reasons for the dropoff may be that this is about the age that babies start rolling over by themselves.

We cosleep. At that age, when DS rolled over, we watched carefully to make sure his airway was clear, and he kept breathing, but we let him stay sleeping on his stomach.

I'm a stomach-sleeper myself. It is comfortable.