1 to 2 kids adjustment

[boigrrrlwonder]

My daughter and son are a little less than three years apart. I tried very hard to prepare my daughter for the adjustment of having a new sibling. He's almost a month old. At this point, she refuses to do any of the things we used to enjoy together: reading, dolls, Little People, art projects, nothing. All she wants to do is nurse and watch TV. She whines; acts aggressively towards everyone, even her new brother; and throws tantrums all day long. I don't know what to do with her. I no longer like being around her anymore. And I'm certainly not being the mother to her I want to be. I'm yelling and threatening all the time. How can I help her? Help us?

[Gray's Mommy]

Just like you, she has gone under a huge transformation! At her age, they don't really "get" all the changes verbally. It just takes lots of time & tolerance. She has to get into a new "normal" just like mom & dad do.

Our 3rd baby is 3 weeks & we are seeing the "honeymoon" period ending with our 3 year old. The oldest has done the best with the transition...but he is 9 Find out what your biggest priority is with behavior for your daughter & be consistent. My biggest thing is that the 3rd year old is gentle with the baby. I can handle just about anything else (yelling, hitting, etc.) but it can't be directed towards the baby.

It does get better though! Keep hanging in there!!

[AfricanQueen99]

All the things you mentioned are age appropriate and she would go through them regardless...it just sucks more when there is an infant on top of it. Believe me, I know. Right there with you.

[smokeylo]

nothing to add other than to say SAME HERE

[indigoscot]

yup same here. our 2.5yo has been in timeout more in the last 6 weeks than i can count. we are just weathering the storm the best we can.

g

[jillmamma]

When my second was born, some of the best things I found to help were:
~ get outside when you can so the older one can run and play and burn off some energy
~ if you are tandem nursing, spend time just chilling on the couch with both and nursing
~ keep a lot of books handy to read to the older one while you are nursing the baby so that all your attention is not on the baby
~ get out and do things if possible (grocery store, children's museum, park, etc.) as a change of environment and having something different to focus on helped
~ point out how the baby is watching the older one, as in, "wow, look how she is watching you...she must really love having a big bro/sis to learn from!"
~ get them to help you...fetch a clean diaper for a change, talk to the baby in the car to help calm the baby, ETC.

Good luck!