I used the mean voice today :(

[blizzard_babe]

I'm tired and pregnant and grouchy. DS is... almost two. A highly verbal almost-two, but almost two. Today has been rough. We got watercolor paints from MIL, and we thought it would be a really fun thing to do, but DS just wanted to run around with the loaded paintbrush. So, end to what I thought would be a really fun activity.

His next activity of choice was "torment the dog." Now, we have the world's most patient dog, and for that I am grateful, but still, we do NOT allow hitting, tail-pulling, eye-poking, etc. Our current plan of attack when we see DS starting up on the dog-harassing, is to grab him in a big bear hug and have the following exchange, "Do we hit the dog?" "No." Do we pull the dog's tail?" "No." "How do we touch the dog?" "Be gentle." He knows what be gentle means and knows several ways to touch the dog that fall under "being gentle."

Today it just. didn't. work. No amount of reminding, redirecting, anything would keep him from tormenting the poor beast. I don't want to put the dog out because of DS's behavior (he's a people-dog ), but it's coming to that. I just got SOOOOOO frustrated having to constantly defend our 70-pound Chocolate Lab form our 28-pound toddler.

So I used the mean voice . I yelled, gruffly, "NO! WE DO NOT HIT THE DOG! NO HITTING THE DOG!" Even in the moment, I realized that I sounded... angry and kind of mean.

It wasn't, of course, effective. But I'm finding myself on the verge of using that voice so often these days.

[Mama Mko]

Instead of saying "we don't hit the dog!" I'd try giving an alternative. "We hit pillows! Not dogs! We can hit the couch, but not the dog!" and then demonstrate. That worked great for my older son.

And because being pregnant and taking care of kids is frustrating and difficult work!

[sgmom]

I too am pregnant and am mother to a VERY active and strong willed 17 month old. I don't really have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone in using the mean voice. While I've never lost control with her, I have had to grab her and say (in the mean voice) "Enough!", to which I immediately soften and switch from the angry voice to a softer one.

I'm 6 months pregnant, my daughter is very, VERY high maintanence. She's into climbing onto EVERYTHING, very strong willed (don't you dare tell her no), and she's going through a "mommy" phase where she doesn't want anyone but me. Her dad will come home from work and she'll be excited to see him for literally a minute, then she wants nothing to do with him. And there are days when I want nothing to do with HER. I love her more than life itself, but she's a HANDFUL, and mama's TIRED. GO TO YOUR FATHER!!

There's nothing worse than being hormonal and having a whiny toddler demand all of your attention (or the opposite... playing independantly, but being in CONSTANT need of redirecting away from potentially dangerous situations (like climbing), which never works anyway).

She's funny though... whenever I snap at her like that, she very quickly looks at me and says "HUG! HUG! HUG!" and comes at me with big open arms. It's a great opportunity to tell her that I'm sorry for using an angry voice, but mama needs you to stop doing what you're doing. Baby girl, you're just driving me crazy.

Being pregnant and raising a toddler IS hard work, and any mother who can remain completely sane throughout MUST have some superhuman power.

Big hugs to you, mama! When are you due?

[crittersmum]

Originally Posted by sgmom

She's funny though... whenever I snap at her like that, she very quickly looks at me and says "HUG! HUG! HUG!" and comes at me with big open arms. It's a great opportunity to tell her that I'm sorry for using an angry voice, but mama needs you to stop doing what you're doing. Baby girl, you're just driving me crazy.

That's our place, too! I'll apologize for being "growly" and get a biiiig hug with an, "Awwww, dat's OK Mama." You can only do your best and, when (not "if") you slip up, just apologize and go on! Be as kind to yourself and you try to be to your LO!

[blizzard_babe]

Thanks, ladies.

[LynnS6]

I think it's OK for our children to see us getting frustrated and expressing anger. It's not like you did this to punish your child - you were frustrated. You spoke angrily because he was tormeting the poor dog.

It's ok. This too shall pass. Until it does, don't beat yourself up over it. I yell at my kids more than I care to. Our relationship is still pretty good.