Weekly thread, March 7-14 - Page 5

[ivymae]

Oh man. Ohmanohmanohman, i'm crying. Insurance has rejected our claim for the third time, meaning the likelihood of them accepting the fourth claim is pretty darn low. It wasn't a big deal before, since we planned to pay the midwife out of pocket if we needed to, from the sale of our house. Which is officially off, as of today. So now not only are we in a bad place financially, carrying two houses, but we can't pay the midwife, and have no miracle money coming in the mail.

She is coming over this afternoon for our weekly appt, and I almost just don't want to see her, because I know I am just going to sob. I have to either ask her to take us on sliding scale (which she may not be able to do) or admit defeat and give up our homebirth. I've never had a baby in a hospital, and I don't want to, but with our finances in major jeopardy all of a sudden, I just can't justify spending half a year's mortgage payments on a homebirth. I'm so upset, and angry.

[sew_crafty_girl]

Oh Ivory, I'm so sorry.

[Dena]

Ivory. I am so sorry.

Gosh, I hate seeing so many of us struggling to figure out how to pay for births and doctors. It just kills me not to be indepedently wealthy right now - I would so LOVE to make sure each and every one of us has the birth she wants and deserves.

Stupid US healthcare system.

[Riverbeauty]

Ivory! My heart just aches for you, what a situation! Maybe instead of asking for a sliding fee... you could ask to make payments? Is there anyone who can help you financially? Church, charities, friends, family?

[bubbamummy]

Oh no Ivory, that sucks im sorry. Since ive only lived in the States for 18 months im still getting used to the health care system, seems so unfair that women do not have the right to birth where they please regardless of finances I really hope the midwife will work with you and offer somekind of sliding scale.

A friend of mine literally had nothing (her DH had just been kicked out of the AirForce) and they paid their midwife with things other than money...like firewood and yardwork etc etc.

[Peace+Hope]

oh ivymae, . i hope something will work out somehow. i bet your midwife loves you and will do whatever she can to work with you... any chance you've already paid her part of her fee?

gee, yoga sucks when your hands feel so bruised.

just thought you guys might like to hear what my yoga instructor was talking to us about tonight...

she said yoga is a practice of thought, action, and word. and an important part of that is compassion. as moms, we have to cultivate compassion, for our babies and children, and just as importantly, for ourselves. she encouraged us to meditate on being compassionate to ourselves, and about extending that to our unborn babies as a way to prepare ourselves for mothering a/another child.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

I know I'm going to miss responding to some of you!!!

Pepper: What a horrible horrible tragedy. You poor cousin. I'm so sorry for your family, your town, and the truck driver.

Ivy: I know how you're feeling. I cried for two days when I realized we did not have the money for the birth center and that my insurance company was going to reject the exception. I hope you're able to work something out like we did. I'll be sending pvs your way.

Like many of you, I've been a super grump lately. The girls must be feeding off my mood because they've been melting down for two days now. By the end of the day I just can't take it anymore. And it doesn't help when dh keeps saying "If you want, you can work full time and I'll stay home with the kids." He would love to stay home but I supported us for three years so it's his turn now! And it sends me into fits that he thinks he'd be so much better at staying home than me. Grrr.

But I did a good day at the park. It was in the low 70s here today so we spent four hours at the park. I was relaxed until the end when dh let the girls get into the creek. They were soaked and dirty and WHINED about it all the way back to the van. Sigh.

[Amandamanda]

okay sorry but i have to share pics of my little guy- i'm just so in love with him!

big yawn
waving hi
cutest thing ever.

[rhiOrion]

Amanda- he is soooo adorable!! I love it!

Hugs to everyone who's having such a bad time.

AFM- midwife appt today, go to weekly from here on out. gained 4 pounds in the past 3 weeks, which puts my total weight gain at 28 pounds so far. Definitely good. BP was a bit high, but not scary. Hopefully it'll go back down again by next week.

She thinks baby is posterior, said it's not the end of the world, but that it couldn't hurt to go ahead and start doing things to encourage her to turn. I'm just happy she's head down.

[Riverbeauty]

Originally Posted by Amandamanda

okay sorry but i have to share pics of my little guy- i'm just so in love with him!

big yawn
waving hi
cutest thing ever.

[sew_crafty_girl]

Aww Amanda!

[Amandamanda]

ok wow.. i really should read the thread before i post. im so sorry to everyone who is having a rough time right now.

[ivymae]

Amanda, your sweet boy made my night.

Thank you guys so much for responding. I felt pretty panicked earlier, and ended up crying in the bathtub until DH got home. Midwife just left, and I feel better. Still unsure about how we will manage to pay her what she is worth, but better about having the birth we want. She and I are friends outside of birth, so part of what makes me so sad is that I know what she is worth, and I want her to know how much I value what she does, but that I have to ask her to take less. She's really an amazing asset to our community, and takes a lot of low-income cases on faith, but I know she is taken advantage of because she doesn't demand payment before birth. I joked that even if we couldn't pay her now, we'd pay her right away when the house DOES sale, and she said "That would work too" which made me cry more, because I'm really blessed to have that option. She also reminded me that she knows I'd be tempted to UC if it came down to it, and while she supports women choosing that out of empowerment, she knows I'd be choosing it out of fear, and that's not the right motivation. And she's right. Sooo... it will be okay. *deep breaths* Now to find that money tree...

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Originally Posted by ivymae

I joked that even if we couldn't pay her now, we'd pay her right away when the house DOES sale, and she said "That would work too" which made me cry more, because I'm really blessed to have that option. She also reminded me that she knows I'd be tempted to UC if it came down to it, and while she supports women choosing that out of empowerment, she knows I'd be choosing it out of fear, and that's not the right motivation. And she's right. Sooo... it will be okay. *deep breaths* Now to find that money tree...

Oh Ivy, I'm glad she's going to work with you though. I felt the same way when my midwife came up with a plan for us. She even told me she'd do my birth for free. I felt awful because I know she doesn't make a lot of money. But I"m going to make sure she gets paid even if it is later.

Amanda: He's a cutie! I love baby yawns!!! Now I'm feeling all mushy and awww like.

[crazyeight]

amanda~ so gosh darn cute!!! oh i just can't wait!
pepper~ that's very very sad. i can't imagine the trama of having to watch that either. hugs to you all.

Originally Posted by nikirj

s to everyone who needs them.

SO jealous of the spring-has-sprung folks. It is cold and dreary in the PNW this week. We did have some glorious weather on and off over the last month, though, so I can't complain too hard

MPP, babies are supposed to have their heads tucked (this is the best picture I found when I googled quickly - it's supposed to be most like "A"). When babies "crown" it's actually more the back of the head than the top that we're seeing. If baby is tucked but not cockeyed (cockeyed=asynclitic) there isn't a problem ; you get torticullis when baby is presenting cockeyed because the muscles/tendons of one side of the neck and shoulder are more stretched than the other. I've never felt acynclitism by abdominal palpation (am honestly not sure how you would), although I have predicted it when I felt nuchal hands/arms (confirmed by VE).

more info on the torticollis??!!! i had it when i was younger and now have 2 fused vertibrae as a result. my mom always wondered if it was cause of how she labored. she said she was pushing but seemed like my head kept butting up against her pelvis or something.

afm: still anemic i just don't get it! i've been taking my meds with oj, i've been making a point of whatever meat i eat is red meat, what salads i eat at least have some spinach in it. i'm at 26% and i think i have to be at least 30%. i think they are going to give me an iron shot or IV in order to boost it up enough but i'm not sure. i'm kinda worried. urghh.....

[bubbamummy]

Amanda, he is soooo cute. It sounds crazy but those pics made me think 'wooah...im having an actual baby' ive been so preoccupied recently, I think ive kinda 'forgotton' that this bump is actually housing an actual baby

Ivory so glad your midwife was so lovely about it, I hope it all works out for you guys.


I am SICK of 'inversions', sick of reading about breech babies...gaaah!! I see the chiro. again tomorrow, so actually kinda looking forward to that. Im totally fed up of the head in my ribs pain too and would much prefer 'feet in my ribs' pain I kinda feel like the baby is trying to turn if that makes sense, I feel heaving in one direction and its little head moves about 6 inches one way and then goes back

[Carita]

ivy - your MW sounds wonderful - no wonder why you are emotional. IDK why our houses are not getting sold... we are reaching our financial capacity as well if it doesn't sell by summer, we'll have to rent it out. i have thought about interviewing HB MW - not that I don't love our MWs that deliver in the hospital (which is like a BC), but just becuase it sounds so nice to have a HB - but I worry about the insurance issue too. which stinks - we would be saving our HI company money - i don't get it. ((hugs))

amanda - cute pics!!! handsome boy!

[justamama]

Trying not to read into it, but I'm feeling kind of labor-y. I was SUPER irritable all day, sporadic contractions, lots of cleansing action, and now I'm kind of spacey. Planning on taking a shower and getting DD2 to bed and eating some pineapple and seeing where it goes. Probably nowhere, lol.

[daisymomma]

Well I am on bedrest after a night in the hospital at 34 weeks !Things have calmed down now but I am 1 cm dilated and slightly effaced on bedrest til next Tuesday when I am 36 weeks and 2 days.I had a bladder infection that started preterm labor got that under control and stopped the contrax so now I am on an oral pill to keep the contrax at bay and also today discovered I have a bacterial infection in my vagina(oh so lovely) .On the positive side my group b strep came back negative so no antibiotics for me during labor.

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Anyone know why ROA is better than LOA? Baby keeps switching between ROA and posterior. I know why posterior is less than desirable-- but I don't understand why the left side is better than the right side.

Amanda, so cute! I cannot believe we're all going to be having babies soon.

Ivory, I'm glad you're feeling a little better today. It's great that your midwife is willing to work with you, but I totally understand what you mean about wanting to pay her what she is worth.
What is up with the house? Are you still trying to sell it but one sale just fell through? or you're taking a break from selling?

Mini-rant: It makes me SO angry that insurance/medicaid/etc so often will not cover home birth. Medicaid here in VA, for example, will pay the full fee for a hospital birth (which, with C-sections, etc, often run into the 20,000s--I know that DD's totally uncomplicated, drug-free hospital birth was $9,000+),but they will pay at most 1,500 for a birth center birth. At least they will pay *something*, but it's ridiculous. My midwives told me a few visits ago that medicaid recently added a code to pay the MWs an extra $100 for VBACs, and all the OBs were freaking out that the hospitals were going to lose patients over that.

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

she said yoga is a practice of thought, action, and word. and an important part of that is compassion. as moms, we have to cultivate compassion, for our babies and children, and just as importantly, for ourselves. she encouraged us to meditate on being compassionate to ourselves, and about extending that to our unborn babies as a way to prepare ourselves for mothering a/another child.

Wow, what a great thing to contemplate.

AFM: I am not ready. Dh and I packed our birth center tote last night, and when we finished he said, "I guess we're ready," and I laughed hysterically. I bought a bottle of EPO and I have taken only ONE, because every time I pick up the bottle, I think, "Actually, nope, he can just stay in there as long as he wants."