4.5 wetting the bed--advice from BTDT

[newbymom05]

My 4.5 y/o DS has been PT'd since around 3 and never has daytime accidents, but has only had a dozen or so dry nights. No biggie, we just get absorbent pull ups. However, last week he decided they were preventing him from sleeping and started taking them off, and he's woken up in a wet bed ever since.

This means two extra loads of laundry daily for me so I'm not happy! My DS is a reasonable kid and we've talked about the necessity for pull ups, but he flat out refuses. Or rather, says he'll try it, but pulls them off at some point in the night. Is this part of the normal PT curve--he's working toward nighttime dryness? I'm afraid he's going to be one of the 16% of kids who wets the bed until he's 7--I can't do that much laundry!!!

I'm thinking of a reward chart but am not sure what the goal should be--waking up at night to use the potty? Keeping on the pull up? Waking up dry? BTDT mamas, advice please!!

[barefootbabies]

My son will be 5 on the 27th and still wets the bed every night. He also refuses pullups, so I feel your pain. For a long time it worked if we woke him up before we went to bed and had him pee (we go late, usually around 12-1am). Lately he still ends up peeing in bed again after, but it may be worth a shot for your guy. My best friend is making him some cloth pullups, which he says he will wear, so we're that will help - maybe you could talk to him about getting some? There are tons on Etsy for a decent price if you don't know someone who could make them. Other than that, I don't have any ideas, just know you're not alone!

[climbermom]

My son is 5.5 and still wets the bed on a regular basis. It does help if we get him up to use the bathroom before we go to bed. He doesn't always make it to the morning, but about half the time he does if we do this. We also usually don't let him sleep in, so sometimes that helps us catch him in the morning before he pees. My know-it-all aunt told me that he has a medical problem and that there are drugs to help with that. The doctor confirmed that there are drugs but they don't usually prescribe until age 7ish because it's still pretty common at this age.

[newbymom05]

Ugh, thanks for the replies. Drugs aren't an option and I already suggested cloth pull ups, no dice. Here is my preschooler's train of thought as revealed to me: The pull ups feel warm, so I think it's a little pee so I take them off and then I'm too tired to get up and get a new one. (me) Hmmm, ok ds, but don't you then wake up in a lake of pee? (ds) Well, uh, yeah...

Very frustrating! I guess we'll try a later additional b'room trip, but I hate to wake him up. Will that lead to having to read another million book pages to get him back to sleep? I don't think I could stand that, more laundry is almost preferable.

[rlandnl]

Thankfully my son doesn't refuse the pull ups - well underjams since he's too big for pull ups- but he's going to be 7 in june and he is wet 9 nights out of 10. he is no closer to being night trained than he was when he was 4.5 Have you thought about using something like one of those hospital chucks on his bed over the sheets to catch the pee so you don't have to change them so much?

[MJB]

My oldest son is one of the 16% of 7 yr. olds who still wets the bed. His pediatrician's line is that he'll outgrow it and nothing is proven to help stop bedwetting-- drugs, alarms, etc. At his 7 yr. checkup a couple weeks ago the dr. talked to him about just waiting it out and trying not to let it bother him. I'd say he wets 3-4x a week. He does wear cloth pull-ups to bed, thankfully.

I think you need to convince him to wear the pull-up because washing the sheets every day is not fair to you. Or you could make him do his own laundry and re-make the bed.

My 4 yr old is, luckily for me, not a bedwetter, which really irritates his big brother. Both potty trained around 20 months with no daytime accidents since.

Also, why does it make two extra loads of laundry? I'd streamline the bedding if there are two loads worth on his bed!

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by rlandnl

Thankfully my son doesn't refuse the pull ups - well underjams since he's too big for pull ups- but he's going to be 7 in june and he is wet 9 nights out of 10. he is no closer to being night trained than he was when he was 4.5 Have you thought about using something like one of those hospital chucks on his bed over the sheets to catch the pee so you don't have to change them so much?

Chux, thank you--that is a great idea!!!!

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by MJB

My oldest son is one of the 16% of 7 yr. olds who still wets the bed. His pediatrician's line is that he'll outgrow it and nothing is proven to help stop bedwetting-- drugs, alarms, etc. At his 7 yr. checkup a couple weeks ago the dr. talked to him about just waiting it out and trying not to let it bother him. I'd say he wets 3-4x a week. He does wear cloth pull-ups to bed, thankfully.

I think you need to convince him to wear the pull-up because washing the sheets every day is not fair to you. Or you could make him do his own laundry and re-make the bed.

My 4 yr old is, luckily for me, not a bedwetter, which really irritates his big brother. Both potty trained around 20 months with no daytime accidents since.

Also, why does it make two extra loads of laundry? I'd streamline the bedding if there are two loads worth on his bed!

Argh, 7 may be my future! I guess I better find some comfy and cool cloth pull ups. RE: the laundry: pjs, mattress protector, flannel top and bottom sheets, blanket, ton of pee=2 loads. It's the blanket--too big to fit in w/ the rest and so far he's managed to pee on it every time. When it warms up there will be less on the bed. I hope.

[robinia]

I'd like to put in a vote for brolly sheets (www.brollysheets.com) - they really took the heat out of the bedwetting issue for me by cutting down on all that extra washing once DS started refusing to wear pullups. They also sell waterproof top sheets - I haven't tried these but it could solve the blanket problem.

[lolar2]

You could switch to a light-but-warm fleece blanket and then that might fit.

[candipooh]

I just had to add that my daughter will be 7 in June and still wets the bed. She does, however, wear pull-ups. I am just getting tired of buying them.

[rlandnl]

i am tired of buying them too!! I was going to do cloth when he PTd (since we did cloth diapers) but I figured he wouldn't need them long, and we weren't able to have more children (or so we thought) so the investment wouldn't be worth it- and here we are 4 years later. Now that we are having another baby, I thhink I want to get some but it's hard to find something that's reasonably priced that fits a 58 pound kiddo.

and yW for the chux idea

[tanyalynn]

My daughter stopped wetting the bed at night within a week of us cutting out her (subtle) food allergens. There were other improvements as well--it wasn't dramatic stuff like rashes or anything, they're intolerances, not IgE allergies, but in the Allergies forum, our experience was not unique. Consider cutting out a few of the most common allergens--dairy, soy, gluten... and see what happens?

[proudmomof4]

Just the thread I needed. I'm getting a little frustrated with my youngest son (nearly 6 1/2y). He potty-trained at around 2 1/2y and was "almost dry at night" shortly afterwards. But it's been going on and off for literally years now. There are stretches where he'll stay dry for 2 or 3 weeks in a row and then it starts over...
I've done the waking one more time as well (even many "experts" say you shouldn't do that) but he's getting too heavy for that. (He's hard to wake up.)
One trick that helped last time was marking the "dry" nights with a little sun on the calendar. Maybe I should go back to that.
Oh - the last washable pull-ups we used didn't make it to China because they were getting to small. I use an "incontinency cover" which at least saves the mattress - in about 98% of all mishaps.

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

My daughter stopped wetting the bed at night within a week of us cutting out her (subtle) food allergens. There were other improvements as well--it wasn't dramatic stuff like rashes or anything, they're intolerances, not IgE allergies, but in the Allergies forum, our experience was not unique. Consider cutting out a few of the most common allergens--dairy, soy, gluten... and see what happens?

Well...I ec'd him as a baby and he had food intolerances, so between the EC and the food allergy Yahoo groups, I was very aware of this as an issue. But my allergist totally discounts it as a theory. According to him, no matter what I"ve heard/read anecdotally, there is no scientific studies or evidence to back it up. Talking about urine, btw, not anything else.

[Sharlla]

DS2 started doing that several months ago (i recall DS1 going through that phase) we limit drinks after 6 pm (we have a 10 pm bedtime) we have a duel alarm clock. 1 set at 4 am and the other for 8:30 am. he gets up with the alarm, goes to the bathroom and goes back to bed. this works most nights and if he doesn't have an accident then he is rewarded with a treat after breakfast.

I never would have thought of that but that is what my ex started doing at his house (our son lives there half time) and it works over there.

[MJB]

Originally Posted by newbymom05

Well...I ec'd him as a baby and he had food intolerances, so between the EC and the food allergy Yahoo groups, I was very aware of this as an issue. But my allergist totally discounts it as a theory. According to him, no matter what I"ve heard/read anecdotally, there is no scientific studies or evidence to back it up. Talking about urine, btw, not anything else.

Our pediatrician had the same response when I asked about it, and I really trust his opinion so we decided not to eliminate any foods from my son's diet.

[hakeber]

If he won't wear the pull ups, perhaps he would wear underpants with a super absorbent feminine pad inside?

I once ran out of diapers one night (when we were doing sposies) and it was around 11pm, no chance to run out and get more, but I had some extra maxi pads so I used a pair of undies with that and it totally worked!

But here are the other things I absolutely MUST do if I don't want ds wetting the bed.

1) cut off all liquids at least 30 minutes, preferably an hour before bed.

2) He must try to potty before he gets into bed.

3) If one and two didn't happen, I wake up him up before I go to bed around midnight and make him pee.

4) NO bedside liquids!

I also have a shower curtain under his sheets and he sleeps with jammies and no quilt, just a top sheet, so that there isn't as much to wash when he does wet the bed, just the jammies and two sheets and sometimes his poor stuffed dog gets it too.

We're down to once a month or so and that is usually because he fell asleep before doing steps 1 and 2 and I forgot to do step 3.

My biggest frustration though is that my husband shames him when he does it, and he really thinks this is going to help It's CLEARLY an accident! He doesn't want to wake up in a pool of his pee anymore than we want to wash the sheets and smell that faint pee smell! ick. Now ds is afraid to tell his dad, and will hide the evidence and act like he didn't wet the bed so that his dad doesn't know for ages that he's even done it until he finds the pee soaked jammies and sheets jammed into the hamper making everything smell like pee, then he gets even angrier because ds lies to him ...He still confides in me, thank god!

I don't know if I would go for the reward thing on this because then NOT making it through the night without peeing will feel like a personal failure to him, and it already will because he must by now know the expectation is NOT to pee the bed. He probably doesn't need a reward chart to highlight the days he didn't make it through the night. That doesn't seem fair to punish someone (i know it's not really a punishment but it could feel like one to him) or reward them for that matter for doing something they have no control over yet. He's not forgetting or being careless, he just isn't getting woken up by his normal cues. It's not easy to feel your body cues if you are a deep sleeper, and if you have a full bladder your body may release before you have a chance to realize it. It has happened to me as recently as a few years ago.

Oh, but maybe you could make a reward chart for YOURSELF, so if you manage the situation well enough to help him not wet the bed, you can spend the money you would have spent on detergent, water and energy on a nice wee treat for yourself.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by hakeber

1) cut off all liquids at least 30 minutes, preferably an hour before bed.

2) He must try to potty before he gets into bed.

3) If one and two didn't happen, I wake up him up before I go to bed around midnight and make him pee.

4) NO bedside liquids!

I must respectfully disagree with this. My son is 9 and still wets every night. He wears a disposable pant with no trouble. I have heard a very few number of kids don't stop wetting until puberty. His paternal grandmother said she wet through her college years. I know this is probably very rare but it can happen.

As another MDC mom pointed out: Any one of us can drink til the cows come home and our body will wake us up to go to the bathroom. My son's body doesn't. So he could cut down on liquids but it would "cure" the problem of his body not waking up. As adults we don't limit out drinking to we won't have a full bladder, we just respond to the full bladder appropriately.

I think it's fine to enourage and try things to help your child, but to get angry and frustrated is not the way to go IMO.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

I must respectfully disagree with this. My son is 9 and still wets every night. He wears a disposable pant with no trouble. I have heard a very few number of kids don't stop wetting until puberty. His paternal grandmother said she wet through her college years. I know this is probably very rare but it can happen.

As another MDC mom pointed out: Any one of us can drink til the cows come home and our body will wake us up to go to the bathroom. My son's body doesn't. So he could cut down on liquids but it would "cure" the problem of his body not waking up. As adults we don't limit out drinking to we won't have a full bladder, we just respond to the full bladder appropriately.

I think it's fine to enourage and try things to help your child, but to get angry and frustrated is not the way to go IMO.

You're disagreeing with what works for decreasing bed wetting for MY kid?

FTR, I never said it cured the tendencies for bed wetting, just that it stopped him from waking up in pee.

I would say though that phisiologically, adults have better response to cues through nothing other than maturity, and girls tend to have stronger pee cues than boys which could be why boys tend to wet the bed longer. I don't think it's something we learn, it's something we grow into. So that is why adults can drink a gallon of water, fall asleep and USUALLY (not always but USUALLY) wake up to pee. On the other hand, I know grown men who when they drink they sleep so deeply they wet the bed (or where ever they are sleeping ).

If daily loads of laundry are not your bag, you can choose either to manage it with pull ups, or if they won't use those or an alternative, limiting liquids and/or waking them for an extra potty-tunity in the middle of the night. None of those will cure the wetting tendencies (since this is a matter of physical development) or the sleeping through the pee cues but they will cure the WET BED itself. That's all I was saying.