We have always both worked FT, so everything has always been about 50/50 even before kids. We basically split responsibilities based on what we would prefer to do. Or what we dislike the least.
Finances - he does 110%. I detest the stuff.
Cooking - I usually cook, but I also prefer to cook. We both do dishes.
Grocery shopping - he does more often than me, while I watch the kids in the shopping center play area. Sometimes we shop together with the kids.
Cleaning - I do major bi-weekly cleaning. He does more vacuuming. Generally he does windows and I do toilets and trash... I'd say its even.
Garden work - he does ALL of it, weeding, planting, arranging...
House repairs - he does all of it. (Unless it is picking out the paint color
)
Child care - we overlap. I'm better with the art projects and going to the playground, he is better at letting them entertain themselves or play computer, which is slightly annoying, but if it gets to be too much, I come up with an alternate activity. We both do baths and put the kids to bed and make their lunches - we alternate days. He does more early morning getting kids dressed and breakfast, I do more afternoon activities.
Laundry - I do almost all of it. But I don't really mind laundry.
We both take a weekend morning to sleep in while the other makes pancakes.
We do kids sick days, doctor visits... based on who can take the day, though more often him if the car is needed.
Transportation - he drives the car, I take the bus to work and bus or bike to town. But this means he is responsible for all long distance travel - if we have to large item shop, take trash to the dump...
IME, if a parent HAS to do ALL household/childcare for a decent chunk of time, then they really see what it entails and understand what the other person is doing, instead of undermining them. Two examples: 1. 15 years ago my mom broker her leg very badly and was in a full cast for 6 months. My excessively traditional dad had to do every.single.thing. I mean the man had never made himself a sandwich for lunch because my mom serviced him. Well, he had to cook meals, do the shopping, clean the house.... Broken leg was the best thing that ever happened to her. Now of course they have gone back to their old ways, but my dad still vacuums the house, can make a meal if needed... 2. I travel for work. Often for the whole week, from 4-10 times a year. So DH has to do everything. I think we would still pretty much evenly share responsibilities, be It does give a bit of perspective. Om even more rare occasions he travels, and I am so tired from having to do all the work, that I really appreciate him when he is back.
