Just venting. Oh well.
I had the choice of three homebirth midwives in my area and I ended up really not liking the one I chose at all!!!
I don't know if I would have liked either of the others-
one of them I actually liked more but I had so many (like more than 10 ) people tell me different stories of why not to go with her, so I listened to that. But I think she would have been more nurturing.
My midwife- I just very strongly do not like her! She is not nurturing- which is what I really want and need form a midwife.
I am 41 weeks+4 days now and really just need some good strong reassurance that all is well. My midwife didn't even call to see how I am doing! I finally called her (ugh) to check in and she said all is fine but she offered ZERO emotional support or asked how I am feeling. Really ever- but especially now when I need it!
Fortunately, I am planning to do UC with midwife back up- so she will only be there if we want her to be. But I don't even want her to be. I really don't like her!
I am trying to let it go- because it is negatively affecting my experience right now. Like- well, I didn't know which midwife to choose and maybe the other one would have been better, but I did the best I could, and things arean't always exactly as you want so go with it.
But I find myself getting so bummed that she is so- cold! She is really cold. And even to the point where I feel our personalities conflict and I always find myself backing down to avoid more conflict. where as I feel she should be reaching out to me!
I See now that I always felt weird about her. But my choices were limited. I wish I would have gone with the older, nicer midwife- but I let other people's stories influence my choice.
Right now I wish I had a nurturing motherly type midwife calling me and telling me to come in or even coming over and checking on me and reassuring me that ll is well. Insteaed I am going online to get people's stories and stuff.
I mean- I am fine. I have lots of support from my husband, friends, and our families. But my mom says- well as long as the midwife is checking up on you (in reference to my baby's arrival and well being) that is important- my mom is in a different state. And I am like, well, not really!
I saw the mw assistant (also sort of cold and withholding, a little older and a little nicer than the midwife but not much
) 5 days ago.
How do I let this all go and still feel good despite not being happy with my midwife?! I know things can't always be perfect but I feel bummed out in the moment that I am going "late" and not getting good reassurance or any ZERO emotional support from my midwives (whom I paid 3600 dollars out of pocket for).
I had the choice of three homebirth midwives in my area and I ended up really not liking the one I chose at all!!!
I don't know if I would have liked either of the others-
one of them I actually liked more but I had so many (like more than 10 ) people tell me different stories of why not to go with her, so I listened to that. But I think she would have been more nurturing.
My midwife- I just very strongly do not like her! She is not nurturing- which is what I really want and need form a midwife.
I am 41 weeks+4 days now and really just need some good strong reassurance that all is well. My midwife didn't even call to see how I am doing! I finally called her (ugh) to check in and she said all is fine but she offered ZERO emotional support or asked how I am feeling. Really ever- but especially now when I need it!
Fortunately, I am planning to do UC with midwife back up- so she will only be there if we want her to be. But I don't even want her to be. I really don't like her!
I am trying to let it go- because it is negatively affecting my experience right now. Like- well, I didn't know which midwife to choose and maybe the other one would have been better, but I did the best I could, and things arean't always exactly as you want so go with it.
But I find myself getting so bummed that she is so- cold! She is really cold. And even to the point where I feel our personalities conflict and I always find myself backing down to avoid more conflict. where as I feel she should be reaching out to me!
I See now that I always felt weird about her. But my choices were limited. I wish I would have gone with the older, nicer midwife- but I let other people's stories influence my choice.
Right now I wish I had a nurturing motherly type midwife calling me and telling me to come in or even coming over and checking on me and reassuring me that ll is well. Insteaed I am going online to get people's stories and stuff.
I mean- I am fine. I have lots of support from my husband, friends, and our families. But my mom says- well as long as the midwife is checking up on you (in reference to my baby's arrival and well being) that is important- my mom is in a different state. And I am like, well, not really!
I saw the mw assistant (also sort of cold and withholding, a little older and a little nicer than the midwife but not much
) 5 days ago.How do I let this all go and still feel good despite not being happy with my midwife?! I know things can't always be perfect but I feel bummed out in the moment that I am going "late" and not getting good reassurance or any ZERO emotional support from my midwives (whom I paid 3600 dollars out of pocket for).
