4 yo. DS Possibly ADHD. How do I get him to stop hurting others? Should we start kindergarten?

[milkmamamerina]

He is not diagnosed, but fits the behavior profile to a T. He gets silly or frenzied or just a random impulse, but he will squeeze kids' heads between his hands, or two toys (as he did with his toddler sister this a.m.), he will arbitrarily press with as much force as he can on kids hands that are resting on a table. He will poke people in the face, occasionally bite his sister's finger, and on and on. He does not seem to have bad intentions, and he seems genuinely sorry, but he keeps doing these random acts of violence again and again at home and school.

He is big for his age and I'm not sure what to do about kindergarten next year. He has a late birthday (Oct. 30 with a Dec. b-day school cut-off) So starting a year later is an option, but what if he doesn't stop hurting others and he enters school nearly 6 years old? He will be roughly the size of an average 2nd grader as he enters K and could seriously injure kids if this behavior does not stop. Academically, he is ahead, but the school assured me that if he entered late they would do grouping according to academic levels for reading and math, so boredom shouldn't be a problem either way.

We have started the Feingold diet and have seen good results, but it seems that when he gets a cold (which is frequent) all bets are off when it comes to behavior.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by milkmamamerina

He has a late birthday (Oct. 30 with a Dec. b-day school cut-off) So starting a year later is an option, but what if he doesn't stop hurting others and he enters school nearly 6 years old?

I would start him with his age mates because delaying will not fix the problem. I'd talk to the school ahead of time about the fact that your child has special needs and needs testing and try to get it scheduled ahead of time rather than waiting until it becomes a problem.

Hopefully, the school will be able to help dx him and find ways to work with him. Getting him in school at the appropriate time could provide you with professionals to help you.

I find the school staff VERY helpful with my sn DD. I really can't be everything to her -- I wish I could, but I just can't.

[KCMichigan]

Do you have a DK or Young 5s program? 1/2 K or all day?

We have a Dec cutoff date for K too. My DDs are Oct Bdays. One has SN. We are doing a 1/2 K program to fit her needs (verus the much more common all day K).


Her PreK teacher suggested the 1/2 day so she can rest the other half (she is hypotonic and fatigues quickly). It is a regular K class, but only runs 1/2 day. We then can do all day the following year or go on to 1st.



The Young 5s/ Developmental K is all day or 1/2 day for kids that are not socially/academically ready for K. Our area offers several classes. You have to have a June-Dec B-day AND demonstrate a low level in social/emotional/academic readiness skills. Many of the young 5s are just not socially ready.

It is a tough choice, but not one that can not be 'undone' if it is not working once school starts.

Have you looked at getting an IEP or 504??? That may help provide accomodations for him.

Does he do something 'physical' everyday---outside play, heavy work (pushing/jumping/lifting), etc to help him burn some energy off and it also increases focus and decreases impulses. I know our OT at the school does a lot of this with older ADHD kids.

[milkmamamerina]

We have only 1/2 day K in our area. Pre K is part of preschool but sounds like what you have describes as DK. I did talk to the future principal about 504s and IEPs and the decision of when to start, but I was a little foggy about the info on 504s and IEPs since I had to end the conversation to pick DS up from preschool.
We do try to get him physical activity, but it has been hard during the winter months.

It is good to know that our decision is not permanent if we send him to K and find it's not working.