I am thinking of jumping ship ..

[nj's_mom]

help, mamas!

we co sleep with 18mo dd and always have. she has always not really sttn and always wakes up every couple hours after midnight to nurse. but it's getting really bad. she's waking up so, so often and my nipples are getting sore from bad positioning, which really can't be helped since she's twisting and turning and kicking me in the tummy. I find myself getting really irritated. I am also a college student who takes two night classes and I get a lot of my homework/laundry/cleaning done after dd goes to bed, so when I finally go to bed and dd wakes up and doesn't let me sleep- it's just plain awful. it's getting to the point where it's affecting quality of life for all of us, including dh. she is fine sleeping just with him, but if she touches me or smells me she just wants boobies. no way around it. I've tried "just saying no" with cuddles/back rubs/singing but its no use, she gets SO worked up and its NEVER worked.

so I am thinking of putting her to sleep, taking my pillow and sleeping bag, and sleeping alone on the sheepskin in the other room. letting daddy take over for a night.

any thoughts on this??? I am SO in need of sleep- I am finding myself "out of it", unable to focus, more irritable, less patience, and of course less energy to be the playful nurturing Mommy I want to be.

[aikigypsy]

I always go to sleep when DD does, because that's the way I get the longest possible stretch of straight sleep. Can you do some of the homework/laundry/cleaning in the early hours of the morning?

I also think you should try nightweaning. I used the Dr. Gordon method (more or less) and was pretty successful with it, only we've backslid a bit, but DD (now 27 months) is only waking up once in the middle of the night to nurse, so it's an improvement and I think we'll be back down to just early mornings pretty soon.

Good luck with it! Steal some sleep however you can!

[kdescalzi]

If your lo seems happy to sleep with you dh than I would go for it. If she gets distraught in the night because you are not there or if she will not go back to sleep without nursing than maybe she is not ready. Again, if she sleeps well with dh I think you deserve some rest.....even if you do that 2-3 times a week or even for the first half of the night to get some solid sleep.
Good luck...I feel your sleep deprivation and my dd is only 9 mos!

[justKate]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I would look at Dr. Gordon's night weaning article: here

I've often thought about sleeping on the couch and letting Huz and DD sleep together, at least until she wakes up for the first time. If I even go up the stairs she smells me and becomes enraged that I am not next to her to provide an immediate snack.

If your Huz is willing to take over for a bit, by all means, get some sleep!

[To-Fu]

I was also going to suggest either nightweaning via the Gordon Method or at least having your partner give you half the night to sleep alone. I don't know if I would suddenly do a whole night like that (but my son is super nursey, so it could just be how I view our nursing relationship), but you could easily work up to it.

I find that even having one day on the weekend to sleep in (my partner gets up with the toddler) really makes a big difference in the week.

Hang in there, mama!

[Mirrormonkey]

My ds1 started that at about 12-15 months, I got so irritated one night that I put him in his own crib (he had been napping in there for a few months) and he slept through the rest of the night. After that we would start the night with him in bed and then he would go to his crib. For me it was awful because I think I got up more to check on him in his crib!

[Loralz]

I was going to say too that maybe she needs her own space at night. Our DD (almost 18 months), spends most of the night in her co-sleeper, after going to sleep on our bed. And when we travel and she has to be in bed with us all night, she wakes up more often. When we get home, she seems so happy to be able to roll over and down into her co-sleeper.

And with the 'just say no', when we did that, I just lay on my tummy and didn't interact with her at all. She got upset, but I was right there. If she really, really needed to nurse, she'd crawl over me and go for the boobs. I'd let her nurse. But if she just stayed in one place and got angry, then I didn't offer. But for her, lack of interaction is what helps. When she's upset, she doesn't want to be touched.

ITU the feeling of just wanting her in bed so that you can finish up your things and have alone time. BTDT and still do. It's rough when you're taking classes too.

[mkksmom]

I agree with the other mamas who said maybe you can just get a little break for a while. Half of the night sounds good or just having your dh come and get you if needed. I was wondering if you have tried putting dh between you and dd. We put our mattress on the floor and then added a twin to it. Dh slept on the twin and dd was near the wall and I was between them. But we did try switching it up a bit once we got to night weaning. I didn't like it because my hubby is not very good about staying in his own space, and I had trouble trusting him next to her. I have had to remove his arm from my head from time to time. He elbows me and doesn't even know it. However, it might help you.

[Pookietooth]

If you think it would be safe, that sounds like a good plan. If your dh has sleep apnea or sleeps very deeply, it might not be safe, in which case it might be better to move your dd to a bed next to yours before you get up.

[starlein26]

Originally Posted by aikigypsy

I also think you should try nightweaning. I used the Dr. Gordon method...

I agree. I usually nightwean around this age (more like 20 months) because the awakenings increase and I'm very tired at that point (20 months of no sttn for me). Give night weaning a try (I like the No-cry Sleep Solution...so you guys can still enjoy co-sleeping :-)

[nj's_mom]

Thank you Mamas for all of your ideas and support!

I ended up not trying it. It just didn't make sense. I wanted to go to bed and the floor was NOT comfy. So we're kind of back to square one.

Yes, we have tried putting DH in between DD and I, but our bed is not up against any walls, so I really prefer keeping her in the middle of the bed. Plus DH is a heavy sleeper and can be not good about where his body goes- I feel ya about arms/elbows flying.

At this point I am thinking she is being woken up by tossing/turning over and feeling/smelling/touching me. Sometimes I see this happen acutely, she moves from deep to light sleep and just bumping up against me irritates her and wakes her up fussing.

I am really getting exhausted and I am always the one to get up with DD- she NEVER wants DH and will become enraged if he attemps to console her.

I am considering moving DD into her own bed once she's done teething. The thing that stinks (or does it?) is that our apartment is a one bedroom studio and the only place to put her bed would be in her now-playroom. It could be done, but it wouldn't be so pretty. Also, I'm frankly kind of nervous to put her in her own "room" (there's really no door seperating) because there are windows and she could be stolen- this is just me being paranoid, the windows are locked and we have a great gaurd dog who sleeps in there.

If I were tomove her to her own bed it'd be a gradual process, I'm sure there'd still be a ton of night waking and I'd still have to lie down with her when she goes to sleep and if she woke up BUT at least she'd be on her own sleep schedule and not be waking up because of our crowded bed.

And I know DH would be escatic to have our bed "back".

Ideas? (My pedi is no help, when I asked her when LOs should transition into their own bed she laughed and said "Two months!" Needless to say we are finding a new pedi, this is the same one who told me I should wean to take ADHD meds because at 18m there is "no nutritional benefit.")

[liza-s]

Originally Posted by nj's_mom

I ended up not trying it. It just didn't make sense. I wanted to go to bed and the floor was NOT comfy. So we're kind of back to square one.

Originally Posted by nj's_mom

I am considering moving DD into her own bed once she's done teething. The thing that stinks (or does it?) is that our apartment is a one bedroom studio and the only place to put her bed would be in her now-playroom.

Why don't you get her bed now - but you sleep in it. She can start napping in it to get used to it. You can have a nice cozy bed to sleep in by yourself.