3yo nursing and newly pregnant - pain while latching on, question

[Ophelia]

I wasn't sure where to post this. When DS was born, I had extreme latch-on pain, sometimes the pain lasted the whole time he was feeding. It was extremely painful and I had tears rolling down my face many times. I even made the mistake of using formula a couple times (nurse gave bad advice)

He did end up having a tongue-tie clipped at about 2-3 weeks old, however it did not help with the pain. I got help from LC's and ended up having to use those things that go over the nipples while baby nurses, and nipple shields and lanisoh. The pain slowly subsided but lasted at least 6 months. I think his latch was pretty good.

The only sign that made me start to suspect this pregnancy is that it started hurting again when DS latches on (and not getting my period of course but my periods had been late lately). Questions:

-does that make the pain a hormonal thing?
-what are the chances of me having the same painful problem with this second baby? I had thought that my b00bs just needed to get used to it and I thought I had lost a lot of feeling in them after 3.5 years of nursing. Was hoping I would not have the pain problem again!!
-If DS continues to nurse now, is the pain just going to get worse? I'm slowly weaning him due to pain and the fact that I need a break before the next one is born! Just cutting down on the time and no more night nursing if he wakes up.

I ask DS to be gentle but it still hurts. Thanks!

[lerlerler]

Nursing while preg can HURT!! And in my estimation, it is COMPLETELY unrelated to pain in nursing a newborn. I had no pain nursing either newborn. But while nursing while pregnant? I cried every time. Don't worry about the baby!! It'll be fine.

I nursed my toddler while pregnant until my husband said "what is it that you say everytime a busybody asks you "how long are you going to nurse""? And my answer was "as long as it's beneficial to both of us" and he looked at me sobbing with pain and said "still beneficial?"

and I had to admit is was misery.... that day I told my toddler that nursing hurt Mommy could she have warm milkies in a bottle instead?

SHOCKED when she said "OK" and in a week, she weaned without tears.

DO I recommend this? No. I don't know your situation, I don't advocate weaning if you don't want to. But for me? it was right.

[rparker]

It's hormonal. I had no nipple pain when my daughter was a newborn, but I'm about 9 weeks pregnant and it often hurts when she latches on. Asking her to be more careful (and occasionally breaking/correcting her latch) has helped some. Night weaning has helped a lot. I don't want her to wean completely, but sometimes when she asks I have offered cows milk or soy milk or for me to read her a story instead... sometimes she accepts, sometimes she really wants to nurse.

A three year old is old enough to accept additional limits on nursing so that it remains mutually tolerable... or a very gentle weaning if you don't want to tandem nurse. My daughter is two and I explain to her that there will be a lot more milk when the baby is born and I thank her when she is considerate and accepts limitations.

The hormonal situation might improve in the second trimester. (I've heard that this happens for some women.) I've read that the reason nausea subsides for a lot of women is because the placenta takes over and hormones get less crazy... the same thing could apply to nipple pain? (Of course some women puke all 40 weeks.)

[Constant Gardener]

I'm newly pregnant and nursing my 26 month old DD still. It hurts!!! I just wanted to say I feel your pain. It's bad enough that I'm going to try and greatly decrease her nursing.

[Ophelia]

Thanks, glad to know that it won't necessarily be painful again with a newborn.

I was thinking of having him slowly wean now (like I said would be nice to have a break), and then after baby is born ask him if he wants to nurse again, in a way I think it would be nice but I don't know if it would open up a can of worms (get overwhelming, especially since he is a demanding nurser). But I also wonder if it would help him get used to the baby easier if they 'shared'. Anyone been there/done that?

[rparker]

Originally Posted by Ophelia;15157140=

Anyone been there/done that?

I have not, BUT... there's lots of information and anecdotes in Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flowers from those that have. There are perspectives in it from women who have weaned, women who have unweaned, and women who have nursed through one or more pregnancies.

[Ophelia]

Oooh, thank you for the book suggestion. I ordered it through interlibrary loan. I also have womanly art of BF'ing so I'll have to see if there is anything in there.

[MayasMama88]

Just wanted to add my current experience!

I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant today, with a 3yo (will be 3 Oct. 15) who still nurses. When I found out I was pregnant, I was really on the fence about whether I would be okay tandem nursing a newborn baby and my 3yo, and after some thought I decided that I really did not want to tandem. The fact that my breasts were incredibly sensitive and sore when DD latched on definitely helped with that decision as well!

So I told her that there was a baby in my uterus, and it was making my breasts and nipples hurt really, really bad. I told her that we would need to stop nursing soon, so that the new baby could nurse as that would be it's only source of food for a few months (obviously I said all of this in words she could understand). I told her that from now on we were only going to nurse once in the morning, and once when it got dark out and that was it. She has been surprisingly alright with this transition (whereas before we would nurse 3 - 5 times during the day, and once or twice during the night time), and aside from a few VERY minor upsets, has been going swimmingly. I plan to wait another week or so and try to take away the morning or night time nursing, so we will only be nursing once a day. Then, hopefully as my milk changes to colostrum (or maybe even before hand) she will just decide to stop on her own.

It still hurts pretty badly when she latches on, but I tell her to open her mouth wide and suck very gently and she does!

[1babysmom]

I sometimes get a little bit sore during the early weeks, but I have by FAR the most pain during the LAST 6ish weeks.  It's miserable!  (but then, I never have any "new nursling" soreness after the birth)

As for the transition, I've DEFINITELY found that it helps ease the little ones into having a new sibling when they still have nursing as their "constant."  I've only nursed through 2 successful pregnancies (tandem during the 2nd one) but it really seemed to make things seamless.