And MY almost-3yo DD is waking up before 5am...

[St. Margaret]

I've been holding out, mamas, assuming it was a phase and by the time I was ready to snap, she'd change her routine. But we're going on something like 2 months now and it's killing DH and me. He's upset he's dealing with her when she's falling apart later in the day, and I'm upset b/c I'm the one up with her since 4 or 5, plus I'm the one with a job I have to go in to (teaching high school English, and I can seriously barely type right now), whereas he does computer design/coding stuff from home in free hours. She naps sometimes in the car with DH, but I don't think she's napping much otherwise, except on the weekends sometimes when I nurse her down in bed.

When DD did this kind of thing when I was a SAHM, I'd just hang in there, nap with her, be zen about it. It wouldn't last. Now I'm seriously getting worried about being so tired I'm not safe to commute to school. Don't get me started on the stack of papers I have yet to read b/c I'm always too tired to read/headachey from exhaustion.

I can't go to bed at 5pm like she does sometimes. I'm getting close to it, though. It's still not enough, and she's often up til 7 or roundabouts. She nurses to sleep for the night, and she's now in her own big bed in the other bedroom. When she wakes she calls for me and I go in and cuddle her, and sometimes we both go back to sleep like that for a while. Sometimes I cuddle her other times in the night a bit too. But lately it's been more and more that she's just UP at 4:30 or 5am. It's dark out. Yesterday she woke at 4 and I got her to go back to sleep, and she slept til 6:30 and it was great, the birds were singing, it was getting light, and I was SO much of a better parents right off the bat.

She's sometimes thirsty but she can have her water bottle (it's right there in bed) even though I try not to nurse her (she's been nightweaned several months now) until I finally give in and we have our "morning" nursies. She's not rushing to the bathroom or anything, even once I give up and we're "up" (hanging out in bed and the room). She is fine being up then, telling stories, making up songs, counting things, making up elaborate imaginary roles for us to play... her normal shtick. Whereas I'm barely verbal at that point, collapsed on the bed or couch until real morning when I can shower and start the day.

Anyone have any advice? BTDT? Is there anything we can do to help her go back to sleep in the AM? It's not going down or staying down earlier in the night (not right now, she's often been a terrible sleeper). Help? Either way, thanks for letting me get this out. DH is getting quite angry about this, whereas I'm more ticked that I'm not a SAHM this year (one year of teaching to get us through the bad economy/job situation for DH) and I'm still as sleep-deprived as when DD was almost a newborn.

[rzberrymom]

How about bringing her little bed (or just the mattress) into your room? That way, she could get reassurance from you guys when she wakes up early in the morning, without anyone having to wake up completely. If I get to my DD quickly before she wakes up all the way, she usually drifts right back to sleep.

Another thought is could she be craving time with you and has figured out that 5am is a nice quiet time with you?

[St. Margaret]

Well, she's in a double bed already, but we could maybe get the old crib mattress out (hardly used) and put her in our room... but it seems like she sleeps so much better all night long, up to this point, being on her own. We can always try!

I was thinking the same thing. My schedule has just changed, with the new semester, and I have to leave for work at 9 instead of 11 (I get home earlier and have less work to do on the weekends now), and I was thinking she'd figured out she had to get a jump on mommy-time. But it's not very good quality mommy time, I don't play or take her for a walk anymore, and we've talked specifically about how it makes Mommy tired and cranky and can't play... ah well. You're right, she's gotten so good at going back down even after calling me in, but I should try to get to her sooner at this time and see what happens.

[lonegirl]

I couldn't imagine my 3 year old going down for the night that early. Have you tried having her take a nap late afternoon then go to bed later. I son goes to bed around 11 and sleeps until 8 and sometimes later (which is fine as my hubby is with him if I head out for work)

[St. Margaret]

Believe me, we know that's early. That's only when she's waking at 4:30 and not napping. Normally it's 7, and if she naps at all (more than a few minutes in the car) she'll stay up until at least 10pm. The issue is getting her to nap at all; she's done long stretches of no naps since she was 1yo. She really only wants to nap at about 3 or 4pm, unless SOMEtimes I'm home and she's up early and has a big morning and the stars allign, then I can get her down by 1pm. If she naps late she'll stay up until 11pm... and I'm not sure that's much better than up at 5am. (I should note, like yesterday she was up til about 10pm b/c I got her a monster nap in the afternoon, she slept from like 12:45-3:45, and she was still up at 4:30am the next morning.)

[Rico'sAlice]

If a child is generally in bed by seven it's not unreasonable for them to wake up at 5 every morning. I think you need to shift the bedtime later gradually (10 min at a time is standard). The bouncing around between 5 and 7 and 10pm won't help her re-set her wakeup time. And I would try to take her out for a walk when she wants to nap (too) late in the afternoon.
In the am I would try to not interact with her when she first gets up other than inviting her to quitely snuggle in bed with you. Not sure of the setup in your house as far as where you would put a gate (ours is top of the stairs but it could also be on the bedroom door) have the area inside the gate totally toddler-proofed and she can play with a few quiet toys, etc. while you keep sleeping. [To be extra clear you and your DD would be on the same side of the gate, you sleeping in either her bed or yours. She would be able to get to you, but not turn on the stove or sneak out the front door.]
At whatever time you want to have as wake-up time (6:30, sunrise, etc.) cheerfully get up and tell her Goodmorning.

[MelW]

My oldest goes through phases of this. Right around three was terrible, because if she napped she would stay up late and get up at 4 or 5.

Our strategy:
No napping (avoiding afternoon driving, if necessary for a while)
Morning exercise, preferably outside. Every single day!!!
Consistent bedtime around 7/7:30.
This keeps her at around a 6 am wake-up, usually. Sometimes she wakes up earlier and can be convinced to go back to sleep, but this is hit and miss.
Also, early morning peeing can interfere with sleep, so a middle of the night bathroom trip sometimes helps.

We went through a phase when I was pregnant that she was getting up too early, I would let her watch tv while I slept in and it was a horrible cycle- the tv really messed up her sleep even more, since the early morning tv seemed to "substitute" for sleep time.

HTH

[St. Margaret]

Thanks, all. She was up at 4:30 Sunday, but we kept her going until 6pm, and she managed to go straight back to sleep at her 4:30 "mama!" call. We don't do anything except snuggle, until it's light and birds sing (around 6 right now). She can get down and play quietly, if she wants, but she mostly doesn't. But I can't sleep with her awake, telling stories, and wiggling next to me.

I think we're going to try to gradually get her to an 8pm bedtime, and she if she sleeps to 6 that way. It makes sense, 10 hours is what most people say for 3yos, right? I just worry about her not getting enough sleep overall. When she does nap (and nothing can make her nap if she doesn't "need" to it seems, stroller or car or nursing) she gets even less sleep per 24 hours, like 1.5 at nap and then 7 at night. I think an 8pm bedtime willl help her to still go to sleep CLOSE to her regular time if she does do a big nap one day... although based on what she's done, she'll wake really early, then try to go to sleep at 5:30 or 6... so we'll have to be ready to get her back on track then.

Thanks again!

[St. Margaret]

I hope nobody minds if I just keep using this thread to track our progress. I am so sleep-deprived (and just got a very early BFP so I'm not likely to be feeling more refreshed anytime soon ) I want to have it all down somewhere.

Tuesday we kept her up til 6, and that was hard. At 5 she was ready for bed, wanted to go to bed since I came home around 4. But she got so excited by these stories I made up to get us through brushing teeth and all that she just nursed, demanding more stories the whole time. So we went back downstairs and had dinner, and then at 6 she was pretty beat and went to bed. I got in bed with her at 11 when she was tossing and calling (rare) and decided to just sleep there so I would be right there in the morning. She slept til 5am.

Wednesday she went to Disneyland with DH and napped maybe 30 minutes and still stayed awake in the car all the way home and played and ate dinner and played and then I had to take her to bed and she went down a little after 8. And she still woke up just a touch after 4 this morning. I am not a happy mama right now, but I'm hoping if I keep at it, MAKE DH arrange her day so she gets a little nap, then in maybe two weeks we'll have a new wake up time? If it doesn't work by then, I'm going to figure something else is causing waking/failure to go back to sleep at that point.

So killer when staying up later equals waking even earlier! I'm going to give it time, though...