Reading reassurance wanted...

[fuller2]

My son will be 7 in a couple of weeks. He is a very bright and extremely verbal kid with a large "grownup" vocabulary. He has 3 adults in his life who are all very verbal. We read him not only children's books but stuff like Mark Twain and H.G. Wells and newspaper articles. He LOVES wordplay, rhymes, and making up silly words and nonsense sentences.

I always thought he'd teach himself to read like I did when I was 5, but this is NOT happening. He's just not very interested in practicing reading right now on his own. We have had some success of late -- we've been doing a Grade 1 workbook and he shows no deficiency that I can tell (he can fill in blanks in sentences, put things in the proper sequence, can sound things out, etc). We've also been doing the first I Can Read books together and he reads (with expression sometimes, even) though he doesn't know all the words on sight yet and gets very frustrated very easily when he doesn't.

Basically, if I "make" him do it, he'll do it (and does OK as far as I can tell) -- but if I don't make him, he won't. He does sometimes sit with favorite books and looks at the pictures but I don't think he's reading them.

I think he just isn't very interested because it takes some work (and many other things are easy for him). Part of the problem is also that I'm a working mom and my reading instruction has been spotty; we don't have a real routine yet. I think he also has a serious perfectionist streak.

I also have noticed that he tends to do only one thing at a time developmentally -- for instance this past year he has made noticeable physical developments like riding a scooter & climbing, and also in his manual dexterity -- he can now use pretty advanced building toys and his drawing has also really improved. So I'm wondering if his brain just hasn't gotten quite there for reading yet. My friend with a kid in public school just laughs at me when I get neurotic about this and says I have nothing to worry about.

So for those of you with experience -- does it sound like he will be OK? I really thought he'd be well on with reading on his own by now!

[MyLittleWonders]

My personal opinion would be to start him on a phonics program (Phonics Pathways is very open and go, and at least with my hesitant readers, carries very little resistance). Giving him the keys to unlock language rather than just having him learn words by sight more than likely will give him the confidence to read on his own. Based on what you say he can do, he is ready for the instruction. And if he doesn't resist working with you, then going through a strong phonics-based program will only help him become a confident and able reader.

[craft_media_hero]

Sounds a lot like my girl, personality-wise!

I don't really know the answer. For us, we have "reverted" to just reading books and not using an official program. I do have some phonics resources, but I more pull from that to write her little stories, or I give her a word family to use when making her own books.

I ask her to read a little out loud to me every day. She is sometimes resistant, and I don't push it. I think finding materials that interest them and is on their reading level is very challenging. For my girl, it's Frog and Toad right now (hoping we can move to Little Bear next), so that's our primary reading book. We also use the Harriet Treadwell READING-LITERATURE readers, sped through the Primer, and stalled halfway through First Reader.

My dd doesn't really seem interested in the heavily illustrated "leveled readers" from the library, either, but she'll spend hours poring through higher level less-illustrated books, and like you said, I don't think that she's reading much/any of the text. She is also a perfectionist.

What helped me is finding those online reading test sites and going through them with her. We found that she is actually at a pretty solid 2nd grade beginner, not deficient at all. So that helped me relax and be cool with letting her go at her own pace. I want her to enjoy reading and not feel like it's a chore, you know? So I think making it very casual and enjoyable is important. Maybe if you find out where he's at (with no pressure), you'll probably realize that he is right on target and that will help YOU the mama trust the natural reading process.

Have you checked out "Teach a Child to Read with Children's Books"? It is a really good resource.

I'm setting dd up with a nice kid-sized reading area with magazine rack and books that I think are on her level and hoping that will draw her in, but I will continue to do a little bit of reading work with her every (school) day.

Also, lots of "alternative" reading activities, like making him a mail box and writing letters back and forth? Right now dd and dp have a blank question book that they are taking turns asking/answering each other. Look at Peggy Kaye's books, too. We have a word box that we add to and go through almost every day (just a recipe box + index cards with words that are meaningful to her, lots of "cupcake" and "sparkle" but I sprinkle in ones that I think will interest her, too, like "never" "forever" and "wonderful").

Good luck! I'd like to hear how it goes, so check back in as you get settled into where you feel comfortable with reading and your little one!

I think what will work for each kid/parent team will vary so much based on personalities and such; it's really a very individual approach that you will end up working with.

eta, ugh, sorry that got so long! hope that you find a jewel or two in there,

[jessicaSAR]

Also sounds a lot like my dd. I asked this very same question a number of times, and the worst advice I ever got was "she'll read when she's ready, just wait and let it happen." I waited and waited and my very bright and capable child was still not reading on her eighth birthday. So, I decided to do some more comprehensive research on reading acquisition and how the brain functions. "Natural" readers are only about 30% of the population. Most children need some instruction to read effectively. We combined two phonics programs, a phonics based spelling program, and a phonics based cursive handwriting program. Now, after a year of systematic instruction, she is reading beautifully and writing and spelling pretty well too. Thank goodness I didn't wait any longer. I only wish I had started teaching her at age 6 rather than age 8.

I think your instinct, that he is not wanting to do it because it is difficult, is probably right. More than likely, he needs someone to show him how to put the pieces together. There is nothing wrong with teaching him. And, learning that you can accomplish difficult tasks through diligence and hard work is just as important a lesson as learning to read. I am not sure why your public school friend is laughing. If he were in public school he would be receiving daily reading instruction. If he is homeschooled, then it is your job to provide that. He is clearly ready. He has all the pre-reading skills. Spend 15-20 minutes each day, and I expect he will be happily reading by his eighth birthday.

So, maybe that's not the reassurance you wanted to hear. And, I am sure there will be others who post with a different opinion. But the "just wait and let it happen" advice was really the worst, worst, worst advice I ever got!!

[Bluegoat]

I tend to agree that doing a phonics program might be a good idea. It won't take a huge amount of time and it has many benefits. (I've just started doing a simple phonics program with my dd, and as someone who was taught using the whole reading approach, it's quite eye-opening. I no longer wonder why I could never spell.)

Even if he can read well, which is important, he may not choose to read a lot, which I think is fine. Some people like to do things more than read about them. You might go to some effort to find books that he will really want to read though. Many boys seem to prefer non-fiction.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by fuller2

My son will be 7 in a couple of weeks. He is a very bright and extremely verbal kid with a large "grownup" vocabulary... We read him not only children's books but stuff like Mark Twain and H.G. Wells and newspaper articles. He LOVES wordplay, rhymes, and making up silly words and nonsense sentences.

Sounds like my oldest--I always thought he'd be reading well at an early age because of this. But, as much as he loved being read to, he didn't read on his own until much later. One of the reasons we pulled him out of school was that we saw how the pressure and struggle to learn to read on the school's timetable was ruining his love of books and words. Once we started hsing and all the extra "help" (the reading specialist, tutor, direct instruction, etc.) was stopped, he returned to enjoying books, and then, when he was ready, moved on to reading on his own.

I don't think the idea that kids will learn to read when they're ready should be disregarded simply because some kids don't read when adults believe they should. Some kids are ready at 5, some not until 8 or 9 or 10.

I realize your son has not been in school, but ds's experience with different types of reading help before he was ready puts me firmly on the "wait until they're ready" side.

I also have noticed that he tends to do only one thing at a time developmentally -- for instance this past year he has made noticeable physical developments like riding a scooter & climbing, and also in his manual dexterity -- he can now use pretty advanced building toys and his drawing has also really improved. So I'm wondering if his brain just hasn't gotten quite there for reading yet.

This was ds1 as well--it was really interesting to watch him leap ahead in one area while seeming to be on "pause" in others. It evened out as he got older.

"Almost 7" is still well within a typical learning to read age.

[AAK]

check out ABeCeDarian. It is a user friendly version of phono-graphix (the program outlined in Reading Reflex). For that matter, you can grab a copy of reading reflex and after reading the first three chapters yourself, give him the assessments in the back. The tests are on segmenting and blending skills. If he struggle in an area, do some games to help that out and then start a reading program. My dd is mildly dyslexic and just started the B level of ABeCeDarian. This program isn't a "dyslexic" program, but just really well done, explicit, and multi sensory. And, the creator, Michael Bend is very helpful. There is also a yahoo group for it.

Amy

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by SagMom

I don't think the idea that kids will learn to read when they're ready should be disregarded simply because some kids don't read when adults believe they should. Some kids are ready at 5, some not until 8 or 9 or 10.

He sounds similar to my ds, too. One very verbal child living with 3 adults. I thought he was on the cusp of learning to read since he was 3.

At 7, he had a number of sight words, many of them from playing fun computer games. At 8 1/2, he generally reads what he needs to for information (sentences and phrases, googling things, etc) with little help but he isn't reading books to himself yet. Right now he is loving bedtime reading when I read a few chapters to him. There is no doubt in my mind that he will continue to develop his reading ability and go on to reading these books on his own. Until then, I will enjoy the cuddle time.

I do think one problem bright kids run into is that they are interested in things that are more advanced than their skills. So they think they can't read, or don't try to read, because the things they can read are boring and the things they want to read are too difficult. I'm starting to see this discrepancy even out on it's own with my ds with no effort, no practice, no drilling. It's so nice homeschooling and being able to go at ds's natural pace.

[One_Girl]

I learned to read quickly and easily as a child after my mom told me the different sounds letters make and what long vowels do. I always thought my dd would blossom the way I did, but even though she understood how to read early and could read well, she didn't choose to read on her own until the last few months when I started just having her read rather rather than do workbooks about reading. I got some of the really funny Fox books I rememered reading as a kid and introduced her to those and she just started loving reading. She has branched out to other books as well now and is choosing reading on her own frequently. I also have started letting her stay up half an hour later, but only to read. I suggest finding something that interests him or some really funny beginning reader books and see where it takes him.