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Bringing your own food to a birthday party... is it rude? - Page 2

post #21 of 123
Feed her before the party, then she won't want the food there. BUT, maybe let her have a little cake. The cake is kinda important to the birthday child. Even if you "help" her eat it. (eat most of it yourself)

Please don't say it's food allergies. I hear that annoyingly often, and quite honestly, most people roll their eyes because the "she has food allergies" is so common now, that people don't take it seriously. The kids with real food allergies deserve to be taken seriously.

I think your own reasons for not wanting her to eat that food are extremely valid and important. If you prefer to bring some of her own food in, I think you should. It's family. She's two. Other than letting her have cake (even if you sneak it away from her after a few bites) I think not letting her have the party food is fine. It's harder to do in a few years, so you might as well take control now while you still can. I really wish I had paid more attention to nutrition when my daugter was little. I made some terrible choices back then.
post #22 of 123
I think it's not rude to bring your own food to a restaurant-based party if you have a good reason (and it sounds like you do), but it would be ruder if the party were at someone's home with home-cooked food.
post #23 of 123
I think it's pretty much OK for a toddler-- everyone knows that toddlers can be picky, and that a hungry toddler is to be avoided out in public. For an older child, it's more polite to find some other way to deal with it.
post #24 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
We always pre-feed the kids in questionable situations, then let them graze the 'bad' food - they never eat much. You may have different struggles with this food issue as you DC gets older and has all kinds of thoughts about fitting in, or being different, or wanting to get at the 'yummy' stuff that other kids are eating. I've learned to choose my battles - it really gets tedious to micromanage this stuff when they start developing a will. Having said that, my kids hate cake, icing, soda, most candies simply *because* of how we eat at home. I never disallow them this stuff at parties - they just can't stand the stuff and find it tastes too sweet, or funny, or whatever.
I say totally pre-feeding is the way to go.
But I would let her have a little bit of the following at McD:
fries
apple slices sans dip

About the party with the pizza maybe you could ask the mom if you could bring a veggie tray/fruit tray for the party to enjoy?
post #25 of 123
2-year-olds can be extremely picky. I pretty much always have snacks for DD in my purse (banana, crackers, raisins, etc.), and she doesn't have any food issues at all. I don't think anyone would think it was weird if you happened to have your own food for such a little kid, but I would probably make an effort to also order something for her (as someone else mentioned, plain apple slices or something).
post #26 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
Please don't say it's food allergies. I hear that annoyingly often, and quite honestly, most people roll their eyes because the "she has food allergies" is so common now, that people don't take it seriously. The kids with real food allergies deserve to be taken seriously.
Just because it isn't a life threatening allergy doesn't mean it isn't an allergy. I struggle with this all of the time as I am allergive to dairy, gluten and eggs and "just" get a migraine from these foods. People think that because it won't kill me that I'm being a drama queen or whatever. Saying "she has food allergies" is common because food allergies are common.

Also, does anyone else think it is frustrating when people choose to have a toddler's birthday party at these restaurants that serve nothing but horribly unhealthy food? Allergies aside, when I invite small children to my home, or on an outing, I try to feed them at least moderately healthy foods. I can see a school age child choosing a place like McD's or ChuckECheese, but a two year old???

And to answer your question, I would definitely feed your daughter before you go and bring along some of her favorite snacks, with extras in case another child wants to try it. Who knows, maybe another mom will get a new healthy food idea to try at home. GL! It isn't rude to put your child's health first. More parents should.
post #27 of 123
If you're going to do it, first check with the establishment. I'm pretty sure you are not allowed to bring anything into CEC, except the cake. You don't want to get the hostess in trouble by breaking the rules.

Second, if you're bringing in food, let the mom know. I once invited someone over, and they brought food for their kids because they "didn't know if we'd have something they could eat." It really irked me because I'd prepared food counting on their children eating. Plus, I did have stuff they could eat because I knew their dietary restrictions. I'm very aware of others' diets, and if not, I ask when I invite someone over. So, yeah, I was miffed that they just brought extra food without saying anything.
post #28 of 123
I don't think it's rude at all. If someone brought food to my party, saying their kid had an intolerance to something that was being served, it's not a big deal. I can't help but think, we're all adults, is it really worth getting upset over? Why not just smile and enjoy the kid's birthday? Not something that would even cross my radar. It can save money, especially if you let someone know ahead of time. My daughter younger daughter doesn't do so well with cow's milk or gluten. All our friends are aware of this and no one bats an eye when I bring different food for her. Honestly IME most kids are so wrapped up with the party no one even notices that she might have a different piece of cake or a homemade pizza. I do try to bring food that's similar or a GF/DF version of whatever is being served at the party, just in case another kid wants what my daughter has. So far, no problem though.
post #29 of 123
I don't necessarily think it is rude with one caveat. Be very VERY careful to be non-judgemental about why you are bringing in your own food.

I don't care in the least what other people do when it comes to food for their kids-it is not my place to lecture them, just as I hope they know it is not their place to lecture me. While I certainly have strenuous objections to certain kinds of food, a party for a child is not the place to get all high and mighty ya know?

I am not saying you will do this, only that I have seen glaringly obvious examples of Moms who feel the food is beneath their precious kid and it is really insulting to the host/hostess.

I would simply say, "my dd is very picky so I brought stuff I know she'll eat," and I also would feed her before hand.
post #30 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by pauletoy View Post
We went to a party saturday at Chuckie Cheese. They actually had a pretty well stocked salad bar. We have a milk allergy so i just purchased the salad separate from the party. In the past i have always taken food to parties for my ds with the allergy. No one has ever batted an eye. i am guessing they would prefer you to be there and bring your on food than not go at all.

i say go take your own food and have a good time.
I agree.

I ask if I can bring a dish or a a veggie tray for the party, usually at my DH's family potlucks I bring the only healthy dish served it is usually the first to go too

I would rather you come, than stay home because of the food served if it was me
post #31 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by VisionaryMom View Post
I'm pretty sure you are not allowed to bring anything into CEC, except the cake. You don't want to get the hostess in trouble by breaking the rules.
I've brought tons of extra food into CEC including my own pop, apples, chicken, and homemade cake w/o any issues. I've done it both concealing and not concealing it. Honestly from what I've found most CEC aren't organized enough to even notice and if they are, no one gets in trouble, especially if you already bought food from the establishment as well or are part of a group that has. You only have a "hostess" if you buy a party too (most parties come with a cake, pizza, and certain amount of tokens included in the price). A lot of people just show up with a group since it's free to get in and there are no reservations unless you are paying for a party. There aren't enough staff to really "keep an eye" on the situation, and I've never, ever heard of one getting in trouble for "allowing" anything. Seems like that's something that manager would handle anyway.
post #32 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
Please don't say it's food allergies. I hear that annoyingly often, and quite honestly, most people roll their eyes because the "she has food allergies" is so common now, that people don't take it seriously. The kids with real food allergies deserve to be taken seriously.
Just because it's not an anaphylactic reaction doesn't mean you can't still be allergic. There are various degrees, and yeah, nearly 10% of the population has some sort of food allergy. I'm allergic to coconut, but it's not life-threatening. I'd be really ticked if someone felt I should eat a German Chocolate Cake because I would only be uncomfortable with hives and wheezing, not dead, if I eat it. And yes, I say, "I'm allergic to coconut." Even non-life threatening allergies deserve to be taken seriously.
post #33 of 123
I don't think it's rude either, but I agree that you should alert the hostess in advance. She's paying for this, so it's important to let her know.
post #34 of 123
A toddler with food sensitivities? I can't believe anyone would think twice about mom bringing snacks for her. It's FINE!
post #35 of 123
Ds has food allergies, but even if he didnt, I wouldnt want him to eat that junk.

I would bring my own, but something similar - like a handmade pizza for the pizza party, and a veggie burger for the other place. So it doesnt stand out too much from what the other kids are eating, and they are still eating 'the same thing'
post #36 of 123
I can't believe anyone would think it was rude to bring food that would prevent a toddler from getting sick. It's not a 2yo's responsibility to feel terrible/crazy the rest of the day just to not upset the hostess. I really don't think other kids are going to notice one kid eating stuff from home, either. I would let the hostess know ahead of time in case it would save her money to not provide for the kid.

When I host I try to be sure to have good vegan choices, and some gluten-free as well, because I know plenty of my friends and their kids can't have eggs or dairy or have sensitivities. We avoid having anything with nuts or fish out as well, b/c of a couple kids. I wouldn't be offended if someone brought their own food, although a head's up would be nice if I was depending on numbers or if they were the one group I was making vegan/GF stuff for.
post #37 of 123
I don't think it's rude. I'm on a strict diet & I usually find out ahead of time whether the restaurant can accomodate me, and if they can't, I bring my own food. And if all they can "accomodate" me with is a tiny salad or something, I eat beforehand to fill up and have the salad to be polite. For a kid, I would try to mimic whatever food the other guests will have -- so bring your own "safe" pizza to the pizza party, suitable burger to McD's, etc. to make it less obvious & maybe easier on your DD. I would also call the host and let them know that your DD won't be needing a meal.
post #38 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
Please don't say it's food allergies. I hear that annoyingly often, and quite honestly, most people roll their eyes because the "she has food allergies" is so common now, that people don't take it seriously. The kids with real food allergies deserve to be taken seriously.
Whats your definition of 'real allergies'?
ds gets an awful rash if he eats/contacts a whole bunch of things (some food and some not), and he has more unusual ones like vinegar (we cant clean with it and he cant eat it), and more common ones like oats and diary. If he eats one tiny bite of something, he is miserable for weeks.
And when he has a reaction his liver function goes down and his immune system goes down. He gets tested for his alleriges every 2 weeks beacuse of this. He is also on a strict diet, and we have to buy special cleaning supplies, lotions, soaps and laundry soaps.

Does that count as allergies to you????
post #39 of 123
One more quick comment -- parties at places like CEC are so chaotic that I doubt anyone would even notice if the OP's daughter was eating something other than pizza, least of all the birthday kid's parents. At the parties I've been to there, I can barely catch my breath between all the shouting to be heard over the noise, the hurry-up-and-play-now-hurry-up-and-eat-now-hurry-up-and-sing stuff, and the running around.
post #40 of 123
No it's not rude, but do let the hosting parent know so they don't pre-pay for a meal for your daughter. A party at McD's probably won't last long, so why not just feed her before you go, and bring along a snack/treat if she wants something while the other kids are eating.
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