I wanted to update my journey as a solo mama for those of you who have embraced me from the early stages as well as for those of you who are new(ish) and that my experiences may help......
My three year old daughter's dad has chosen to be absent from her life.... while I never imagined it would be this way, it's our reality. Her dad has not seen her at all in 2010, in 2009 he saw her 12.5 hours (and some of those hours she was asleep), in 2008 and 2007 her saw her about 48 hours each year (with her sleep about half of those hours)..... SMH! When I look back on my notes I realize I was always initiating the relationship between he and dd....... and then I stopped. Why would a man who saw our dd so little feel the need to email and call ME everyday often multiple times in attempt to control me? Why would he not pay things in time for give me the money to pay them? Then he would constantly threaten to take me to court anytime I did not answer the phone right away or jump to respond to his emails. So I slammed on the brakes. Stopped asking him to see dd, went to the court filed the needed paper work for custody and he elected to hide...... he was and is actively avoiding service but after several months of my proceedings being stalled the judge is allowing my request for service by publication!
When I started this journey I could not imagined the chance that in the near future a judge would sign an order declaring me truly a solo mama. I never would have planned things to go this way but HONESTLY deep in my heart I think his lack of involvement will be best for dd and I am SOOOO HAPPY I stopped when I did when dd is still young and has a blank slate. She does not even remember him..... which is sad but true. I am blessed she has an involved family full of men (and women) who are strong, loving and supportive. Happy to be free of her flake of a father. Now don't get this wrong IF dd (or her dad) initiated wanting to see eachother (after the court order is finalized) I would facilitate that happening, actually in the paperwork I do allow for some visitation but I will not be the driving force and that is liberating for me!
I am about 45 days away from the judge ruling in my case and I am soooo excited! All I have to say to her dad is THANKS FOR MAKING ME A FIGHTER! http://www.metrolyrics.com/fighter-l...-aguilera.html
My three year old daughter's dad has chosen to be absent from her life.... while I never imagined it would be this way, it's our reality. Her dad has not seen her at all in 2010, in 2009 he saw her 12.5 hours (and some of those hours she was asleep), in 2008 and 2007 her saw her about 48 hours each year (with her sleep about half of those hours)..... SMH! When I look back on my notes I realize I was always initiating the relationship between he and dd....... and then I stopped. Why would a man who saw our dd so little feel the need to email and call ME everyday often multiple times in attempt to control me? Why would he not pay things in time for give me the money to pay them? Then he would constantly threaten to take me to court anytime I did not answer the phone right away or jump to respond to his emails. So I slammed on the brakes. Stopped asking him to see dd, went to the court filed the needed paper work for custody and he elected to hide...... he was and is actively avoiding service but after several months of my proceedings being stalled the judge is allowing my request for service by publication!
When I started this journey I could not imagined the chance that in the near future a judge would sign an order declaring me truly a solo mama. I never would have planned things to go this way but HONESTLY deep in my heart I think his lack of involvement will be best for dd and I am SOOOO HAPPY I stopped when I did when dd is still young and has a blank slate. She does not even remember him..... which is sad but true. I am blessed she has an involved family full of men (and women) who are strong, loving and supportive. Happy to be free of her flake of a father. Now don't get this wrong IF dd (or her dad) initiated wanting to see eachother (after the court order is finalized) I would facilitate that happening, actually in the paperwork I do allow for some visitation but I will not be the driving force and that is liberating for me!
I am about 45 days away from the judge ruling in my case and I am soooo excited! All I have to say to her dad is THANKS FOR MAKING ME A FIGHTER! http://www.metrolyrics.com/fighter-l...-aguilera.html
