Help! How do you get a child into a new pair of shoes?

[funkymum]

DD is 18-months-old and has only worn the leather-bottomed Robeez slip ons. The trouble is that I can't get her into anything else without her screaming. The last time we tried, she was shaking and we couldn't bear to watch and wait that one out.

I have a pair of Robeez boots (soft-soled) and she won't put them on. A mama friend loaned me a pair of Stride Rites and she will pick them up and bring the pair over to us, but will start crying again the moment we put them on. We've tried being silly and putting her shoes on our feet, talking through our own shoe outfitting, putting her in the shoes when she's nursing or sleepy (she screams the moment she's down on the ground and won't walk), and let her put our shoes on. Help!

[Rubber Ducky]

I feel for you mama! My DS was exactly like that too. In fact, he wouldn't even wear Robeez or booties or anything. He would just scream the minute anything other than socks was on his feet. There was even a time when he wouldn't wear socks and the way I got him to do that was to put tights on. =)

Anyway, what I did was I made a huge thing out of it and said he's a big boy now and big boys wear shoes so big boys can go outside and play. Mummy wear shoes too etc... I was quite determined and set aside "shoe practice time" each day (a few minutes). I would put on his shoes, he would start screaming and I'll pick him up and do something fun to distract him like go to the bathroom mirror and make funny faces. He would laugh and for those few minutes would forget about his feet. Then I'll tell him that we're going to try walk in the shoes and put him down with his walker so he could balance himself better. Once he starts screaming again I'll take it off and try later, or the next day.

I also made sure that everytime we went out, he would have to wear his shoes... or at least go through the motion of putting them on.

I guess it has a lot to do with consistency. In my case, distraction and praise helped a lot. I actually thought it would take a lot longer to get him to wear shoes but seriously I only had to do my little exercise for 2 or 3 days and within 2 weeks he would gladly put on his shoes when we went out. He was 15.5 months when I did this.

Hope this helps!

[btallen]

DS did the same thing... he suddenly didn't want to wear his shoes around 18 mos. Turns out, they were too small! I had no idea - they were a 1/2 size larger than his current shoes. I wound up taking him to get fitted and he needed a whole size larger than his current shoes. After that, he would wear his shoes and cry if you tried to take them off! A couple of nights he even slept in them! So, my advice would be to take your DD to get sized/fitted and see if that helps.

[ann_of_loxley]

You buy the same exact pair in the next size needed! lol

[plunky]

I'm a fan of barefoot. It bugged me a bit when I heard people talking about how my daughter's feet weren't perfectly sized for whatever shoes they were looking at. That was about a year ago though, I guess, before DD was 1. And she does wear shoes now. During the weird foot shape phase, I liked the moccasin like soft-soled shoes.

Wearing shoes changes your feet. One of my professors in college did his graduate work comparing the gait and anatomy of people who never wear shoes to people who do. Their feet look different. Plenty of time to subject our kids to that when they're older.

If you must put their feet in shoes, err on the side of bigger, like ann suggested.

[fruitlove]

Originally Posted by plunky

I'm a fan of barefoot. It bugged me a bit when I heard people talking about how my daughter's feet weren't perfectly sized for whatever shoes they were looking at. That was about a year ago though, I guess, before DD was 1. And she does wear shoes now. During the weird foot shape phase, I liked the moccasin like soft-soled shoes.

Wearing shoes changes your feet. One of my professors in college did his graduate work comparing the gait and anatomy of people who never wear shoes to people who do. Their feet look different. Plenty of time to subject our kids to that when they're older.

If you must put their feet in shoes, err on the side of bigger, like ann suggested.

Here is a great website that talks about going barefoot: http://www.unshod.org/pfbc/

[gkb2215]

Same problem here, but I think we just solved it this past weekend! I had her fitted at Stride Rite a couple weeks ago and bought a pair of shoes, but she just looks at them with this mix of hatred and fear.

We tried the whole big production thing, tried acting like it was nothing, tried being stern, tried begging...none of it worked. Yesterday when we got to the park I asked her if she wanted to get out of her stroller and play. She said yes. I told her: "OK, but you're going to have to wear your big-girl shoes." She got upset, but I quickly replaced her Robeez with her new shoes, set her down by the slide, and she almost immediately forgot she had her big-girl shoes on When it was time to go I put her in the stroller and put her Robeez back on her, and today my husband did the same thing and she was fine with it all. Thank God, because I worry about her feet getting cold/hurt, and I spent $40 on those shoes!

[Ruthie's momma]

DD is over 2.5 and is most often either barefoot or sporting some HA Swedish mocs. When we are out and about, she usually wears a pair of soft-soled Robeez. If we have snow than she will sometimes wear a pair of super-flexible, rubber soled leather boots.

The vast majority of children's shoes are way too stiff and hinder natural, healthy foot growth/development.

There is no need for your LO to wear any shoe that isn't easily folded in half with one hand.

There are many brands of children's shoes that are super soft and flexible:
Robeez, Pediped, Soft Star, Shoo Shoos, Bobux (Target also sells a version), Pedoodles, etc.

[MamatoLil]

My 18mo daughter loves Preschoolians, they are really soft and flexible. You can order them online. She also still wears her soft shoes (like Robeez) a lot too. Maybe if you could take her to the shoe store and let her help pick out a pair of shoes, and make it a big deal, etc, she will be more receptive to wearing them. Good luck!

[funkymum]

Thanks for all the great ideas! DH is from Hawaii, so he's a big fan of going barefoot as much as humanly possible. But now I have some good ideas for how to get her into some shoes when we need to contend with the wet Pacific NW days. Cheers!

[ssh]

Our DD wore soft flexible soled shoes, the SKR ones, until she was in size 10. Also we just kept shoes by the door and put them on before going outside. It was just something that had to happen before the door opened.

[alegna]

Find some softer soled shoes. There are a few brands out there now with much softer soles but still some waterproofing.

-Angela

[starlein26]

I'm not sure if anyone's mentioned preschoolians...they're awesome! Great transition to a slightly thicker sole while still maintaining that amazing flexibility!

[artgoddess]

Depending on where you live can you go bare or stay with socks and robeez for a while? I live in nice weather and my DS didn't wear soled shoes until he was almost 2.

[meemee]

we live in a big city.

my dd didnt start wearing shoes till she was 4.5 years old. she wore robeez till she was what 2 years old. she still hates shoes on her feet - rather anything on her feet and she is 7. it was because of school that she regularly wore shoes on a continuous level. but before school the longest she ever kept shoes on was maybe 2 hours at places you had to wear shoes. she used to run on the bark in the playground barefeet.

so what i am saying is does your dd HAVE to wear shoes?

can you get her measured? that will tell you if she is wide or not.

[SparklingGemini]

Since you need some options...

Does she willingly wear socks? How about Swedish Moccasin type slippers. You know, where the sole is like a leather slipper but the uppers are like a sock?

Or some sheepskin boots that are very roomy and fun?

Sometimes I let DD go out in just her footed pajamas. Maybe that would work?

And what about a pair of soft slippers with a partially rubberized sole?

That said, barefoot is awesome.

My DD & I both prefer to go shoeless year round. We're currently visiting my dad in Southern Oregon and, despite the wet and cold, I'm still finding both of us running around mostly barefoot, minus the occasional trip into the store or hiking along the river.

[wrappedupmama]

My daughter did the same thing when she first started needing shoes to walk in public. What I did was put her in the wrap, place the shoes on her feet while she felt safe on mama. She was still a little upset, but not shaking screaming scared. Then I took her outside ASAP. She was happy going for a ride on my back and being outside. She also didn't have to walk around in them, just get used to wearing them while outside at first. As soon as I got in we took them off. Then slowly, they associate shoes with fun outside time and see that it's safe to wear them. Then put the shoes on while in the wrap, but let her down once outside to get used to wearing them. Then after awhile she was just comfortable with shoes because of the slow transition. So we could just put them on her feet without being in the wrap. It worked for us. Hope that helps.

[BeanyMama]

DD is wary of news shoes, too. Coats as well! I got to to accept her latest pair by excitedly telling her that Daddy bought them for her. Ha!

[Peacemamalove]

Originally Posted by wrappedupmama

My daughter did the same thing when she first started needing shoes to walk in public. What I did was put her in the wrap, place the shoes on her feet while she felt safe on mama. She was still a little upset, but not shaking screaming scared. Then I took her outside ASAP. She was happy going for a ride on my back and being outside. She also didn't have to walk around in them, just get used to wearing them while outside at first. As soon as I got in we took them off. Then slowly, they associate shoes with fun outside time and see that it's safe to wear them. Then put the shoes on while in the wrap, but let her down once outside to get used to wearing them. Then after awhile she was just comfortable with shoes because of the slow transition. So we could just put them on her feet without being in the wrap. It worked for us. Hope that helps.

This worked for us too. I think comfort definitely helps!

[funkymum]

Originally Posted by wrappedupmama

My daughter did the same thing when she first started needing shoes to walk in public. What I did was put her in the wrap, place the shoes on her feet while she felt safe on mama.

Thanks, wrappedupmama! We never would have thought to try this, but the day after the traumatic experience of having her sized and outfitted with a new pair of cool shoes, we took her for a walk to a local duck pond in her new shoes. No fuss whatsoever! We'll keep trying this and build those happy associations with her outside shoes.