Bad doctor visit

[berry987]

I just got back from the pediatrician. My 5 yo son was complaining of some UTI symptoms (need to pee, nothing coming out, etc.) so I brought him in to get his urine checked. The doc came in and said the urine was fine but he wanted to take a look at his penis. Then he proceeded to retract his penis to the point of my son yelling "ow!!!" with tears in his eyes. Then he said, "it looks fine, maybe a little redness that should go away on it's own....but you really should consider getting all three of your sons circumcised."



This is a new doctor that we recently switched to. It's VERY hard to find any natural-bending pro non-circ doctors around here, so I figured he was okay because he came highly recommended from a few people.

But I'm just floored. He even said he was fine and this would all clear up on it's own and then he recommends SURGERY? And what does this have to do with my two other sons who have never had any issues with their penises??

I'm angry at him and myself for not being able to stand up for my son. He is just very...intimidating.

I will definitely NOT being going back there. I just don't know where I find the right doctor. We've already switched three times in a two years.

I just had to vent a little. And I'm also wondering whether I should do anything to make sure his penis is okay after such a big retraction. My son complained on the ride home that he penis hurt, but hasn't mentioned it in an hour or so.

[bandgeek]

I'm speechless.


Ok, no wait...here come the words. First of all, there's no excuse for him assaulting your son. And yes, that's just what I consider forceful retraction. Assault. He caused your son pain by doing something he shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Somehow, you need to make it clear to him that it is NOT ok that he did that. Even if you never intend to go back there. You have the opportunity to protect many boys if you attempt to educate this man.

I'd be tempted to file an assault charge, but that's just me. If he jammed his fingers inside a little girl for no reason, you better believe someone would be calling the police. Yanking on a little boy's penis and causing him pain is criminal, IMO. That may seem extreme to some, but if parents start doing something about these things, doctors will stop doing this. If they think they might actually get in trouble, they won't do it!

Recommending surgery with no basis, and for kids he isn't even seeing? There has GOT to be someone to report him to.

[intactDS]

Originally Posted by berry987

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by berry987

He even said he was fine and this would all clear up on it's own and then he recommends SURGERY? And what does this have to do with my two other sons who have never had any issues with their penises??

I think this, worded a little more formally, would be a good thing to include in a letter explaining why you won't be returning and letting the dr know that his unnecessary, ill-advised forceful retraction hurt your son. You were seeking care for a possible uti, not looking for opinions about circumcising.

You could also include a copy of info on the correct care of an intact penis, perhaps from the aap or doc? I'd highlight any parts about the boy himself being the only one who should be doing any retracting.

[claddaghmom]

How atrocious!



It would probably be a good time to reaffirm your son's feelings and to talk about safe touching. The authority of a doctor can be felt by even small children, and you wouldn't want him to get a notion that the doctor had a right to do that to him or that his feelings were wrong about it.

There's another thread on this subforum that has contact information for pro-bono lawyers. They will send a formal letter to the doctor on your behalf.

[Smokering]

Eugh. Please complain! We can help you write a strongly-worded letter if you like. SO inappropriate.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

thats awful, isn't there any laws protecting little boy from this.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Please dont let this go let the Dr. know in no uncertain terms what he did was a violation of your ds and a violation of intact care.

Here is the contact information for the lawyer who will send a letter to this Dr. letting him know he is opening himself up for a lawsuit by doing what he did. It is not saying you will sue but it may make him think twice about hurting other little boys and giving out incorrect information. You know better but others may not and their sons may pay the price because of this ignorant Dr.

The attorney for Doctors Opposing Circumcision, John Geisheker, will send a letter to the doctor/nurse/hospital pro bono (free) on your behalf telling them what they did was wrong and the consequences. It isn't a letter stating you'll sue, but it is fully referenced and ought to get their attention.

Email him at [e-mail]

Before you contact John, you will need the following information:

The name of the doctor or nurse who did this, the name of his/her practice and their (snail) mailing address.

The name of the hospital where the doctor has privileges, (the hospital where they practice) and the mailing address. (even if it didn’t happen at the hospital)

The name of the CEO or Administrator of the hospital. (even if it didn't happen in the hospital, find out where the offending doctor has privileges and send it to those hospitals)

The name of the hospital's risk manager.

The name of the head of the department (OB, peds, emergency, etc.)

Letters will also be sent to:

The state medical board in your state.

The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (hospitals fear them like a boogeyman).

[Crunchy Frog]

I just want to reiterate that you please contact the attorny for Doctors Opposing Circumcision. This is the most constructive thing that you can do about this situation.

[PuppyFluffer]

Sounds like sexual assault to me. I totally agree that if doctors examined a perfectly normal girl and the end result was painful tearing of genital tissue, someone would allege sexaul assault!

The medical community angers me greatly.

Please follow up on the above information and contact DOC to act on behalf of your son.

[japonica]

Please report him...there must be a licensing board...

He can't do this to other boys. Like the PP said, if you had brought a daughter in for a possible UTI and he touched her genitals to the point that she was in pain, you would be calling the police.

I'd write a letter to his office first. And also to the licensing board...I don't know who oversees doctors there, back in Canada we had the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And you can file a complaint.

Good luck.

[berry987]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I will contact the attorney. I spent yesterday feeling awful for not saying something in the moment. It really shakes me that when push came to shove, I let my son get hurt because the doctor is this big, burly 60-something man with a booming voice. I thought I was stronger than that. But I've cried enough and now I am just really mad.

Thanks again for all the support.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I went through something similar with ds when he was a few months old and it does make you sad then you get PO'ed. It sucks that this is something we even have to deal with when it should be a non issue.

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer

Sounds like sexual assault to me. I totally agree that if doctors examined a perfectly normal girl and the end result was painful tearing of genital tissue, someone would allege sexaul assault!

The medical community angers me greatly.

to all of that