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How many of us are never married mothers?

post #1 of 37
3/8/10 at 9:22pm
Thread Starter 
Just out of curiosity, are most women here divorced or never married?
And, how many of us are SMBC, or SMBHA?
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post #2 of 37
3/8/10 at 10:09pm
So I had no idea what those acronyms meant, so I googled them. The first hit for SMBHA was the Show Me Buckskin Horse Association. After that was the Scarborough Muslim Ball Hockey Association. I'm totally not kidding here. Then I googled SMBC and I got the Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, the South Main Baptist Church, the Santa Monica Beach Club, and the abbreviation for the orchid genus Schombocattleya. I'm totally intrigued here.
As far as the other question goes, I'm never married. I'd guess that it's maybe 50-50? Or maybe slightly more divorced? Interesting question.
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post #3 of 37
3/8/10 at 11:10pm
Thread Starter 
Oh goodness!
SMBC = Single Mother By Choice (a woman who intentionally got pregnant on her own)
SMBHA = Single Mother By Happy Accident (a woman who did not plan to get pregnant)

Sorry, those are in common use in my other single mom forums. I think what came up for them is a riot!

I'm never married as well. Single mother by happy accident. Best birth control oops ever!
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post #4 of 37
3/9/10 at 1:01am
I have never heard of single mother by happy accident but I like that..... I'm a solo mama (by happy accident) and I have never been married. I'm totally LOVING being a solo never married mama and think I am wiser in my approach to life - career, relationships, maturity, etc.

I think this group of women is a mix - mostly divorced, many never married and a small but great quality presence of solo mamas and single mother's by choice!
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post #5 of 37
3/9/10 at 3:14am
I'm in the never married single mother by happy accident group. Funny, when I was much younger, like 20 years ago, I used to think that if I was ever in this position it would be the end of my world. Instead it has been the start of an amazing new one.

eta: I was in a relationship with DD's father, it obviously didn't work. We were also TTA conception..... so still a happy accident.
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post #6 of 37
3/9/10 at 3:27am
Solo Mama by Choice via adoption here. Best decision I ever made.
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post #7 of 37
3/9/10 at 9:48am
I was married back in the day, but we divorced. I had my dd with a man that I did not marry and thank god for that. I would have really been in a tricky spot to get rid of him then. Sheesh!
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post #8 of 37
3/9/10 at 11:26am
I'm never married. I'm not sure I fit into either acronym since I was in a relationship and it didn't work so now I'm single. Lincoln's dad is very involved though - and Lincoln was a very very happy accident!
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post #9 of 37
3/9/10 at 2:37pm
Ex and I got married after baby #2, separated immediately after baby #3. We are currently separated (not divorced yet). Baby #4 is with my partner of 2.5 years (friend for 10). Not sure if DP and I will ever get married -- not sure if either of us really want too.

So...SMBHA?
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post #10 of 37
3/9/10 at 4:53pm
im in an "other" category. So I was married when we had our first who was sadly stillborn. I got pregnant with #2 when we were married but he left a week after the bfp so I really wasnt a married mother because I had no living children to care for at this point. i would consider myself a SMBHA but not because the pregnancy was a surprise... I consider myself one because dh leaving me and me suddenly being a single mama was the surprise. It turned out to be a great thing though. Anyway, Ive been doing it on my own since the beginning and planning on doing it again this time as a single mama by choice. So in short... Ive always been a single mom since dh left before the baby was born.
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post #11 of 37
3/9/10 at 10:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessimonster View Post
Just out of curiosity, are most women here divorced or never married?
And, how many of us are SMBC, or SMBHA?
SMBHA for me!

DS' father and I were in a relationship that ended when DS was conceived; he's dropped in and out of DS' life.
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post #12 of 37
3/10/10 at 2:13am
SMBC through birth, adoption, and foster care.
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post #13 of 37
3/10/10 at 4:11pm
I'm a single mother by both and I love it! Sure it gets rough sometimes but you know what? We women are awesome and strong. We can accomplish anything!
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post #14 of 37
3/10/10 at 4:45pm
Single Mother, glad I never married my sons father, very controlling.

Happier now than ever! Except this custody stress!
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post #15 of 37
3/10/10 at 4:49pm
SMBC x2 here.
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post #16 of 37
3/10/10 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by voilamomma View Post
Single Mother, glad I never married my sons father, very controlling.

Happier now than ever! Except this custody stress!
Oh man, I know how you feel!! Custody stress is tough!
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post #17 of 37
3/10/10 at 6:50pm
I guess I fall into the SMBHA category. My DS was a result of a summer fling with a guy I didn't know very well. He's not involved at all.

While I often wish I had an extra set of hands, I really think this might be the easiest way to parent. I never have to argue or compromise on parenting issues. I make every decision on my own. One possible downside, though, is that I think if I ever do meet "the one" and decide to get married and have more babies, it might be really hard for me to coparent.
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post #18 of 37
3/11/10 at 1:55am
Wow--how to answer this question--and not just on here but IRL too?!? I believed that I was married, but when STBX and I were seperated I discovered that he never divorced his first wife--making our marriage not a valid union.
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post #19 of 37
3/12/10 at 11:57pm
Trying to write this is confusing me. Married, separated, pregnant(not with husband), divorced, gave birth, tried with the dad but it wasn't good, now it's me and baby. Daddy is around but not very responsible but his mother is the most wonderful surprise and I usually feel like she and I are raising ds together. I had thought about adopting and knew I wanted to be a mom and in retrospect have often thought that on some level my hormones took over my sanity and caused me to get my self into the situation. so I guess happy accident???
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post #20 of 37
3/17/10 at 2:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamiPolizzi View Post
I guess I fall into the SMBHA category. My DS was a result of a summer fling with a guy I didn't know very well. He's not involved at all.

While I often wish I had an extra set of hands, I really think this might be the easiest way to parent. I never have to argue or compromise on parenting issues. I make every decision on my own. One possible downside, though, is that I think if I ever do meet "the one" and decide to get married and have more babies, it might be really hard for me to coparent.


SMBHAx2
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