How many of us are never married mothers? - Page 2

[hazeldust]

Originally Posted by AKA_PI

I'm a single mother by both and I love it! Sure it gets rough sometimes but you know what? We women are awesome and strong. We can accomplish anything!

This is exactly how I feel. Never married my kids dad and I thank the goddess every day. It made separating so much easier, and that was just inevitable

[ShyDaisi]

Solo-parenting SMBHA...feeling a little lonesome and lonely. While I am happy that my son is here, I don't think I would choose to do this alone.

[Theia]

ShyDaisi- Hugs for you.

[JellyMomma]

SMBC here : )

[jessimonster]

Originally Posted by SamiPolizzi 

I guess I fall into the SMBHA category. My DS was a result of a summer fling with a guy I didn't know very well. He's not involved at all.

While I often wish I had an extra set of hands, I really think this might be the easiest way to parent. I never have to argue or compromise on parenting issues. I make every decision on my own. One possible downside, though, is that I think if I ever do meet "the one" and decide to get married and have more babies, it might be really hard for me to coparent.

Oh man, I totally get what you're saying!!  I actually just got married in August and now we're expecting a baby.  There's going to be some compromises, I'm sure.  Like we're getting a next to the bed cosleeper for this one, because my husband isn't cool with bed sharing.  But he's cool with home birth and consented to keeping baby intact, so I'm happy to compromise on cosleeping.

Actually, part of the way I knew he was Mr. Right is because we agreed on so much when it came to parenting!

On a side note, since I'm no longer a single mom, can I still stay on this board?  I still consider myself a single mom advocate.

[jessimonster]

Originally Posted by SamiPolizzi 

I guess I fall into the SMBHA category. My DS was a result of a summer fling with a guy I didn't know very well. He's not involved at all.

While I often wish I had an extra set of hands, I really think this might be the easiest way to parent. I never have to argue or compromise on parenting issues. I make every decision on my own. One possible downside, though, is that I think if I ever do meet "the one" and decide to get married and have more babies, it might be really hard for me to coparent.

Oh man, I totally get what you're saying!!  I actually just got married in August and now we're expecting a baby.  There's going to be some compromises, I'm sure.  Like we're getting a next to the bed cosleeper for this one, because my husband isn't cool with bed sharing.  But he's cool with home birth and consented to keeping baby intact, so I'm happy to compromise on cosleeping.

Actually, part of the way I knew he was Mr. Right is because we agreed on so much when it came to parenting!

On a side note, since I'm no longer a single mom, can I still stay on this board?  I still consider myself a single mom advocate.

[jessimonster]

Whoops! Stupid double post!

[tccandlsccmom]

I was not married on purpose, rather in a long-term (more than a decade) domestic partnership including mortgages together, power of attorney, etc.  We got pregnant by choice both times for both kids.  But now we are in a horrid custody battle as I left him and he didn't want it to end.  Also in court (separate action) about settling the assets.  Totally exhausting....but being without him is ultimately worth it!

[esg]

l   I'm a single mom by choice as my sig states.

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[branditopolis]

i suppose both?  I was in a relationship with DS's father for 7 years prior to conception.  When I accidentally got pregnant XP gave me an ultimatum: lose the baby, or lose him.  He never wants to be anyone's father.  Anyway, I chose the option where he hits the road, and I've been all the better ever since!

[Kirstyandgirls]

I suppose I'd fall into the divorced category. I was with dp for almost ten years, although we never married we had children together and planned to parent them together. 

He had an affair an now I'm single... I suppose you could call that a happy accident :)

[Kirstyandgirls]

Sh!t ten years of typing dp... It obviously takes more than three weeks to get used to typing xp. He's definitely not a darling!!

[Kaitlyn811]

Cool thread! I forget to pop in here a lot..but I'm in an 'other' as well.

I was with my child's father when I conceived, he continued to get more abusive - I said see ya. Packed my bags and headed home 600 miles north. I wasn't going to first of all - deal with more abuse, second - have MY child deal with the abuse, and third - I'm not gonna raise two babies and pay for and run the entire household. Sorry! It's cheaper anyway being without him. 

So..happy accident I suppose. Hoping to never hear from him again (I'm STILL pregnant with said child at 40w1d lol). 

[bebestar7]

Hello mamas, SMBHA here, and would love to hear some thoughts on discussing dad's chosen total uninvolvement with your child... DS is only one but I often wonder how to approach this as biodad lives in the same city and parents his other child, so the "wasn't ready / able to be a dad doesn't really apply. Thanks mamas! I love being a SM, though It is quite challenging trying to do AP with a high needs child solo!

[majazama]

never married, here, too. He said "I'm not the marrying type"

[contactmaya]

smc x 2 and soon to be 3 (38 weeks)

[branditopolis]

Originally Posted by bebestar7 

Hello mamas, SMBHA here, and would love to hear some thoughts on discussing dad's chosen total uninvolvement with your child... DS is only one but I often wonder how to approach this as biodad lives in the same city and parents his other child, so the "wasn't ready / able to be a dad doesn't really apply. Thanks mamas! I love being a SM, though It is quite challenging trying to do AP with a high needs child solo!

I have a similar issue.  I was with DS' father on and off for 7 years.  Two of those years I spent in another state, trying the long distance thing.  We've always been able to talk to each other for hours, and that was enough for me.  When I came home i found that he had gotten a girl from his work pregnant.  Their child was deeply involved with XP's family, though the child didn't have contact with him.  (I guess that's the different part.)  When I got pregnant by accident, XP gave me the "abort or I'll leave" ultimatum (and we can see how that ended up!)  I can literally see XP's apartment from my parent's house... We visit on the weekends and I'm really curious how all this is going to pan out.  I'm dreading the day DS is old enough to talk and he notices he doesn't have a dad.