How do I balance the needs of both my kids?

[rockportmama]

Oh wise, kind & helpful MDC mamas, what can I do?

They both need more of me than I have to give. At the same time. And they're relatively laid back kids! I hope to have a third baby but if I can't manage two....

Background: DS is 4 & DD is 15 months (15 months & I still haven't figured this out?!?) As for DH, he's made great strides in growing past his own childhood, but isn't really at the place yet where he's able to help.

So it's up to me. What attitude am I aiming for? How can I be there to meet their needs? How do I know needs for attention from wants for attention? How to respond when they both insist on my attention at the same time? How to quelch the guilt? How can I have more of me to give?

What's your secret???

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Hey Rockport Mama! I remember from our DDC. Our DC2’s are almost twins.

When you get a better answer then mine, let me know, cuz I am in the same boat right now, only my kids are 2.5 and 15 months :Yikes. Thank goodness Charlie has REALLY mellowed out in the last 4 months or so. Once he began making full sentences and was able to communicate with me what he wanted/needed, life got that much easier. So I would have to say utilize your Sons ability to communicate against your daughters inability.

Also, at 15 months, Matthew has finally found DIFFERENT cries/whines/screeches to use for various reasons. For the longest time, it was all one lound shrill, banshee-like SCREAM, complete with tears in about 2.5 seconds. So I was ALWAYS tending to him first, since it seemed he actually NEEDED something, vs WANTING something. Now he has graduated to having whiney like groans, with no tears (crocodile if you will) So I am better able to gauge his wants against needs. He is VERY intense. Both my kids are, but Matthew takes it above and beyond, has since birth. So I am hoping he is finally “old” enough to learn some patience. Though I have my doubts. He seems a lot more ahead of the game then Charlie was at this age, so I am hoping that by showing him sometimes his brother “needs” me too, he will begin to learn the difference.