So much to respond to.. I haven't been here for a week or so, so feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Sugarmoon: I am so so sorry about the whole ATG mess
He was so promising, but it does sound like he is one to let go till he grows up. You don't casually mess around with a single mom like that - especially if you know that she is serious about it. Shame on him
Lots of hugs coming in your direction. I know the feeling
Loveohm: Good to hear things are moving forward with Artist. He does seem very patient with you/into you. Sounds good
Halfasianmomma: Sounds like a good thing you have going. I hope it works out for you
Jenn: Well if the guy is being very open with you about his situation and being serious about dating you, then give it a shot. And yes - meet the girl and get her "blessing" just so you know exactly what you are getting yourself into.
Holland: Good to see you back. How about that good date? Still seing the guy? Tell?
Butterfly: Ouch. You sure know how to seek out "trouble" - if you don't mind me saying so. I agree - the good guy who claims to almost be single - tell him to get back to you when he actually IS single. Poly guy sounds interesting and as long as it's only fun for you then I don't see a problem. But if you want a relationship then - you already know that maybe this is not what you need..
So the update on Manager.
I am still seing him and we are getting a bit more serious now it seems for several reasons.
First I am doing some serious soulsearching about the whole falling in love thing. I did fall in love with LL hard and fast and I am wondering what triggered that - and the other guys I have loved. And it does seem I have a thing with falling for men who don't return my feelings. Now here is Manager who has shown me pretty much from day one that he is indeed very interested and he is such a good guy and we have so much in common that I have kept giving it more chances. So last weekend we finally had a whole weekend without kids and the first half I spend thinking about how I could get myself out of it. For no other reason than I can feel he is really into me and I haven't felt that "in looove" feeling that i felt for LL from very early on. So sunday we were talking about everything and he asked about LL in more detail and got the whole ugly story. Including the part where I am not over him and still grieving. His reaction was something like "You really had your heart broken there. But don't worry. It will heal up again, and once it has, I will still be here, hoping there will be room for me in it." I was like - What? I asked him how he felt hearing me cry for some other guy and he just said: "But the guy hurt you bad. I can easily compete with that."
I could feel that breaking down a wall in me..
Next thing he is joking with me and saying something like: "So here I am making you brunch, giving you massages and spoiling you rotten while waiting for you to get over your ex. Damn you made a great catch." So all in all the guy is really giving me a lot of room to be me- with all my big feelings - and seeming like he really does feel he can compete with LL for my heart. And it seems that him believing that actually makes me feel that maybe he can long term?
I still don't have that answer and he knows very well that I am not in this wholeheartedly at this point, but I think his persistence and his big roomy heart deserves for me to give it a real chance? I really enjoy his company. I enjoy talking with him and laughing with him and hanging out. So - I am still not sure what this is, but I think I have found some peace in allowing myself to enjoy it and explore it more - especially knowing that he is in it with his eyes wide open - and now knowing the whole truth.
LL contacted me the other day on chat wanting to hear how we are doing. The whole conversation can be found privately, but the buttom line is that he wanted to feel better about having dumped me and that he actually does miss all of us but not enough to undo his massive mistake of dumping me, so it was just hurtful and I should have really just told him to take a hike. But well - It tore me up nice and good and it has been a hard week following that. Guess I am finally starting to accept that he genuinely is too messed up to have a relationship with me, so at least that is some kind of step towards moving on right?