In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb? *~*'~* March Dating Thread *~*'~* - Page 5

[incorrigible]

Well, my date was supposed to be on Friday, but alas...it will not be. Chuckles has to work, after all. =/ I suppose there may be a thin chance of some other low key datishness this week though. I've had some really awful things happen, that have me downright flashing back and panic attacking to the very worst times...and my worst are the kind I can't talk about because even other victims have trouble believing them. I had to break out the good drugs today, and take double what I "normally" do on the occasion I bust them out, which is rare. I can interact with the kids without snapping over every little thing, but the unjustified paranoia can't be medicated away...and I've had MANY triggers the past couple days, a couple pretty major. Well, obviously...enough to need meds to get myself under control.

Anyway, the thin chance of datishness is due to my need to get out of town. A couple days away, somewhere I can't be "found" by anyone (not that anyone's looking) will make me feel safe again...refresh me. Chuckles happens to share a house w 2 other friends that the kids and I sometimes stay with when we're visiting that area. I put an all call out for crash space today, and there's a good chance they'll offer. It's the big crash space house for that circle of friends. Just have to make sure there aren't any non child friendly events going on there the next couple days, you know? If we crash there, one of the guys will be happy to watch the kids so Chuckles and I can go out. Very calm, loose kinda house. Just what I need right now, really.

[Eaglevoice]

Seie - If nothing else, it's wonderful that you have the Manager there for support. He sounds like a really decent guy who cares a lot for you. It's good to surround yourself with people like that. Even if you still aren't over your LL heartbreak, it's nice that he is willing to stick it out with you. Since he is completely aware of your situation and your feelings, he knows exactly where he stands with you, he knows the risks, and yet he has made the decision to continue to be there for you. So I think you should just let go of all of your worries about dragging him through the mud, because he knows its a risk. Let go of it all and just enjoy what he is offering you. You'll know in time if this is something you want for the long term, but for now you deserve to be happy! It sucks about LL contacting you and stirring things up again. Sorry you have to deal with that!

ian'smommaya- I actually met the Panamanian on match.com. He was one of the first people that I actually responded to on that site. We did the online thing for a couple of weeks, then I gave him my phone number and we started talking on the phone for a couple of weeks. I think it may have been a month total, from the 1st time he contacted me online before we met in person. We met in a public place, but by that time I would have met him in private, because I felt like I knew him very well. But I'd rather be cautious when it comes to meeting people IRL for the 1st time, so I'd probably always meet in person the 1st time. And I'd probably not meet at your regular hangout, go somewhere neutral, so that way if the night doesn't turn out as well as you hoped, at least you won't have to worry about accidentally bumping into him at your regular hangout later.

Halfasianmomma - I'm super excited for you. It's so awesome that this is a man that you have known for so long and "wanted" for so long! My one concern is that you make sure you have not put this man on a pedastal. It's easy to do when you have been infatuated with someone for a long time. I'm sure that you are being smart and keeping these things in mind...but I figured it wouldn't hurt to put it out there That being said, I LOVE hearing your updates about how gooey and sweet saxman is...sort of like a romance novel

incorrigible -
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now, sweetie!!!! I hope you are able to get away and clear your head and get some time to recenter yourself. You'll get through this!!!

I had dinner with the Panamanian last night. Then we went for a walk on the beach, under the full moon He really is quite amazing. He said the sweetest things to me. He makes me feel so good, yet so scared at the same time. I feel like a part of me is holding back...scared of being hurt. Scared of putting too much of myself out there. At times I feel like I am ready to let it all go...and other times I feel myself backing up a little bit. I am having him over tonight for dinner, we've scheduled dinner and snuggle time with a movie I'm really looking forward to it. I wish there was no fear associated with falling in love...why does it have to be so scary???????

[momanderson]

Well things are going pretty good with the paramedic! We are "in a relationship" on fb Whatever that means! He is coming over Thursday night for some no kid time and then again Sat night for an Easter dinner with the kids and I. Not sure if he will stay over or not.
I am telling the X soon that I am seeing someone, so he doesn't hear it from the kids first. A bit nervous, he won't take it well that's for sure! I know it really isn't any of his business, yet I want to get it off my chest so I don't feel like I need to walk on eggshells around him. Wish me luck! He will be here shortly to drop off the kids. Actually he is 10 min late with drop off!

[Butterflymom]

Seie, ignore. Take what tiny bit if power you have in this situation and don't give that, too, to him.

hugs to you. Love u.

Can you get away may 7-9?

Update: London. 2 first dates down, more tomorrow, then home. I am starting to get really serious about getting ONE guy in my life so I'm interviewing like crazy. First guy out of shape and kept sending his martini back to the bar (not perfect). Next! Second guy was heaven, but I don't think he was into me.



tall former baseball player guy in NYC is getting serious about finally meeting after 2 months of communications. Soon. He has a GREAT voice and is very tall. I love those things.
Open marriage guy and I are going out on a date next Friday. I gotta watch myself. I am no second fiddle but I agreed to that date weeks ago....

[Eaglevoice]

momanderson - How did it go telling your x?? I hope it went well and he didn't give you too hard of a time

butterfly - I LOVE tall men, too!! I cross my fingers for you on that one. As far as the guy who kept sending his martini back...yeah, that's kind of annoying... I can understand sending it back once if they really screwed it up, but more than once, that sort of sends flags of perfectionist/control freak, yk?

The Panamanian came over for dinner with my parents last night. It was awesome, he and my dad have a lot in common, so I felt like an outsider listening to all of their business conversations! It was really very cool that he can connect with my dad like that. Then we snuggled on the couch to watch a movie and we both fell asleep from a little too much wine with dinner. He slept over and we woke up early this morning and went out for breakfast and coffee before he had to head to work. I am still having a hard time sleeping at night when he is laying next to me...I guess because it's been a year since I've shared my bed with anyone and that makes it hard to sleep. Oh, and he snores really loud

[mumblemama]

Re online dating... I usually try to meet people pretty quick, but it varies a lot. I actually came to the conclusion the ones I thought had real potential I would chat with more and exchange emails with more before meeting than those I was meeting because I thought we'd have a fun time. Hmm.

Seie, I'm glad things are sitll going well w/ the Manager. He knows where you're at, and he's willing to be there, anyway. That's pretty awesome.

Good luck, Butterflymom. You date sooo much it amazes me. When I was dating that much I found it so -exhausting-!

momanderson, yay! Haha, funny how sometimes nowadays relationships move through their stages via FB I'm so glad you're happy!

I don't feel like I can comfortably chat about my love life right now. *sigh*

[sugarmoon]

mumblemama, come tell us about it in private, if you want? or find me on chat sometime.

I decided that since ATG doesn't want to be exclusive, I should date some other people as well, so I put my online profile up again. I've been corresponding with two other guys who both seem really decent, but my heart isn't in it.

I just feel snakey and deceptive towards the new guys, you know?

But I also need to divert my focus from ATG, and I'm not willing to give him up completely. At least not yet?

Urgh.

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by mumblemama

I don't feel like I can comfortably chat about my love life right now. *sigh*

I sincerely apologize if my posts made you feel that way.

It just hit a really sore spot for me. You'd think after 6+ years, it wouldn't feel that way... guess I was wrong.

So... share away!!! I promise I will offer you nothing, but support. Well, that is if I have anything to offer at all. I am feeling pretty crappy and pathetic right now, so I am not sure what I have to offer to anyone at this point in time.

[mumblemama]

Oh sugarmoon & Holland... sorry you are both dealing with this crap right now. Please do share, too. Things were looking so good for a while, for both of you. Take care of yourselves.

I understand the shaky and deceptive. I almost went on a date the other night but it just felt like I would be playing some charade. Bleh.

I just don't know how to talk about things because any light I shine on it ends up embarrassing. It's like I'm holding this giant secret I can't talk to anyone about and I feel about ready to burst. I've given myself a timeline, though.

[momanderson]

Sugarmoon, mumblemama, Holland- So sorry you are all at crappy and difficult spots right now.

To answer the question about how telling the X went, not well!!! He did not take the news well and in classic abuser mode was trying desperately to get me to let him in the house, he needed a hug! Yes and I was born yesterday and think a hug would be just dandy. No thanks because I am sure as soon as you have me in a "hug" my head will be meeting a wall or the ground after a role down the front steps. No thanks you can stay outside on the other side of this locked door! It ended with me talking thru a window with phone in hand that he needed to leave before I called the police. Yesterday was slightly better, but today when he picking up oldest to drive him to school he barged his way in and my fb was open and I am sure he saw Paramedics name listed under "in a relationship with" So let the crazy stalking begin! Paramedics profile is open and I can't txt him right now to tighten up his privacy, not that I think he cares. He's already told me he's not at all worried about my X. So things could quickly be taking a turn south and I am going to read up on restraining orders today.

[Halfasianmomma]

momanderson...ugh to your crazy X. What a moron! It's a good thing Paramedic guy is some self-assured. That sort of behaviour from an ex might scare away a potential partner.

To be honest, I'm also worried about what my X is going to think when he finds out I'm seeing Saxman. STBX and I had MANY fights about Saxman in the past, even though I had cut ties with him very early on in my relationship with STBX. He kept accusing me of thinking about him, wishing I was with him, or just plain cheating on him with Saxman. Ugh. I imagine that the revelation will yield an EPIC freak out on his behalf.

Eaglevoice...that sounds like that *great* evening with The Panamanian. It's so awesome when someone you are dating gets along fabulously with your parents. Boo on the snoring though! That (and alcoholism) is what contributed to the demise of my marriage...heheh.

oh, and you're totally right about putting Saxman on a pedestal. I'm trying very hard to remember that we're both just people, who happen to be attracted to one another.

I'm having some issues though, with regards to dating/intimacy with a post-baby body. I wasn't a runway model before, but I did model and was an actor and a dancer. I was VERY into my looks and spent a lot of time caring for my body. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those mamas who escaped pregnancy unscathed: my stomach is riddled with stretchmarks and though it's somewhat almost flat, the skin is all...wrinkly. I have a bit more boobage than before but they're rather saggy and empty, since DD is slowly decreasing her nursing schedule. And overall, I'm flabbier than before, since I don't do ANY exercise because I have no time. Soooo, seeing as things are "progressing" with Saxman, I'm very self-conscious about this less than fantastic post baby body and I have trouble being relaxed...

Also, scheduling is an issue. I have almost NO time to myself and so even less time to hang out with Saxman. He's also ridiculously busy. The only time we'd really get together is on week-ends (evenings are out since he lives at the other end of the city, right next to the school he teaches at). I wonder if the lack of availability is going to be a problem...

[Butterflymom]

Dutchman in Open Marriage now realizes he may want to leave his wife and be with me. He wants a family. Interesting. He wants time to think about it, and then Friday he'll be here to see me. We'll talk.