Pregnant and my 3 mo old is refusing to bf - help!

[moxygirl]

A little about my situation: I gave birth 3 months ago to a beautiful DS who I planned on nursing pretty much as long as he wanted. He had serious latch issues and couldn't breastfeed and my supply dropped to almost zero. Over the last several months I've worked back from exclusive formula feeding to him getting about 50-75% of his nutrition from the breast.

He was always kind of fussy/picky about bf though. Sometimes he would fight nursing even when I had plenty of milk and would wail till I gave him a bottle. Now I'm 5 weeks pregnant and he's doing it more. I mean, seriously, I can squirt him in the mouth with my milk, that's how much I have, and he'll still refuse to nurse and act like I'm starving him till he gets a bottle.

I've been using slow flow nipples and recently bought a breastflow bottle to try out so I don't know if it's a flow preference. He often fights the bottle too.

Now my supply is dropping and I want him to be bfing MORE not less. I want to bf throughout pregnancy and tandem when the new LO is here.

Can anyone help me figure this out?? I'm desperate. If you have any questions just ask. I'm looking for a solution asap.

Thanks!

[Megan73]

Sounds like flow preference.
I suggested this in our DDC thread but the best way to battle this is to ditch the bottles entirely and supplement at the breast with a Medela SNS or, better yet, a Lact-Aid.
It will keep your little one interested in the breast until your "new" milk comes in.
Good luck, mama, and congratulations!

[moxygirl]

Thanks Megan. I thought it might be something different. I'm really clueless. I need to order that SNS asap.

Would he fight the bottle too if it's a flow preference?

[goodygumdrops]

Unfortunately, because your pregnant you can't rely on your milk supply to completely sustain the nutritional needs of a newborn. I believe that your supply can be affected at any time during your pregnancy and the taste of the milk may change...which may likely be what is affecting your infant. I would work very closely with your pediatrician to ensure that your babe is getting enough milk.

[sahmmie]

A major clue to me in your post is "he often fights the bottle too." My guess is that it's not a latch problem or a flow problem. He may have reflux. Babies with reflux often fight feedings even if they are truly hungry because as soon as they start eating acid begins to back up into their esophagus giving them major acid burn. They are hungry, but they are in pain, so they fight their feedings. I had two babies with reflux and I remember the struggle very vividly.

My reflux babies first starting fighting the breast so I switched to pumping and bottle feeding thinking it was a nursing issue, but both of them eventually started fighting the bottle as well. It took me months to figure out what the problem was.

Here's a website that may help you determine if your little guy has reflux or not. www.infantreflux.org

[Megan73]

Originally Posted by moxygirl

Thanks Megan. I thought it might be something different. I'm really clueless. I need to order that SNS asap.
Would he fight the bottle too if it's a flow preference?

Sorry to be so slow to notice your question!
My LO had generally "unsettled" feeds on breast AND bottle until I eliminated the bottles.
My take – correct me if I'm wrong! – is that he's refusing the breast, wants a bottle then is unsettled on the bottle, too. I wonder if by the time he gets the breast he's upset and frantically hungry – hence the unsettled feed.
In any case, supplementing at the breast is REALLY the best way to keep a babe at the breast to get whatever milk there is while supply drops in pregnancy.
I'd really suggest buying Lact-Aid units online even though they're expensive because they're MUCH better for long-term supping IME. Lots of mamas do well with the SNS, though.
As for how MUCH to supplement, I'd keep a really close eye on his weight –like weekly weigh ins – so you can keep tabs on your supply and adjust the level of supplementation to provide for his needs. The clue for you will be weight gain, which should be 5-7 ounces a week of up four months, 4-5 ounces a week between four to six months and 2-4 ounces a week between six to 12 months.
Kellymom.com has lots of good info on this.
Good luck!

[KempsMama]

i don't have any advice, except to say you deserve a huge pat on the back for your efforts.

I know other ladies on this board have been able to sustain an infant and pregnancy, it can be done!

[moxygirl]

Originally Posted by goodygumdrops

Unfortunately, because your pregnant you can't rely on your milk supply to completely sustain the nutritional needs of a newborn. I believe that your supply can be affected at any time during your pregnancy and the taste of the milk may change...which may likely be what is affecting your infant. I would work very closely with your pediatrician to ensure that your babe is getting enough milk.

Thanks for the information. I feed my LO on demand. If I don't have enough milk to meet his needs, he lets me know! And then I give him a bottle of formula. He's in the 95th percentile for height and weight so I think we're good there.

Originally Posted by sahmmie

A major clue to me in your post is "he often fights the bottle too." My guess is that it's not a latch problem or a flow problem. He may have reflux. Babies with reflux often fight feedings even if they are truly hungry because as soon as they start eating acid begins to back up into their esophagus giving them major acid burn. They are hungry, but they are in pain, so they fight their feedings. I had two babies with reflux and I remember the struggle very vividly.

My reflux babies first starting fighting the breast so I switched to pumping and bottle feeding thinking it was a nursing issue, but both of them eventually started fighting the bottle as well. It took me months to figure out what the problem was.

Here's a website that may help you determine if your little guy has reflux or not. www.infantreflux.org

Wow some of these symptoms DO sound like my son. Except my pedi said he DOESNT have reflux. I will do more research on this. Though I have to say, the symptoms that he's shown have subsided recently.

Originally Posted by Megan73

Sorry to be so slow to notice your question!
My LO had generally "unsettled" feeds on breast AND bottle until I eliminated the bottles.
My take – correct me if I'm wrong! – is that he's refusing the breast, wants a bottle then is unsettled on the bottle, too. I wonder if by the time he gets the breast he's upset and frantically hungry – hence the unsettled feed.
In any case, supplementing at the breast is REALLY the best way to keep a babe at the breast to get whatever milk there is while supply drops in pregnancy.
I'd really suggest buying Lact-Aid units online even though they're expensive because they're MUCH better for long-term supping IME. Lots of mamas do well with the SNS, though.
As for how MUCH to supplement, I'd keep a really close eye on his weight –like weekly weigh ins – so you can keep tabs on your supply and adjust the level of supplementation to provide for his needs. The clue for you will be weight gain, which should be 5-7 ounces a week of up four months, 4-5 ounces a week between four to six months and 2-4 ounces a week between six to 12 months.
Kellymom.com has lots of good info on this.
Good luck!

Thanks again Megan! I'm quite certain he's not frantically hungry since I feed him on demand and put him to the breast the instant he starts fussing. He used to go from asleep to screaming in seconds, so it was hard to head it off. But he's gotten quite a bit calmer now.

Originally Posted by KempsMama

i don't have any advice, except to say you deserve a huge pat on the back for your efforts.

I know other ladies on this board have been able to sustain an infant and pregnancy, it can be done!

Thank you so much! It's been a long road.

I've got to say that the last several days have been much better! He's not fighting anymore, is nursing more and for longer periods of time before asking for a bottle, and is just generally calmer and more content. I'm really not sure what changed but I hope it lasts! I know he is teething. That could be part of it. (Early I know! My DH started this early too. He had three sets of teeth - a genetic anomaly.)

Thanks for the info everyone! I'm going to continue to monitor his eating and apply your suggestions.

[sahmmie]

I'm glad to hear he's doing better!

A doctor cannot say with absolutely certainty that a baby does or does not have reflux though without medical testing. So, if his symptoms begin to flare up again don't assume it can't be that just because the doctor said it's not. The only real way to diagnose reflux is through medical tests like an Upper GI or PH probe. However, many docs will diagnose and treat infant reflux symptomatically and use medical testing only for severe cases or when treatment is not working. Both of my babies were diagnosed without medical testing and one of them underwent an Upper GI because his initial dose of Prevacid was not working. (Once we upped his dose he did fine).

Also, reflux can come and go and things like teething can exacerbate it. My babies' reflux was always worse when they were teething or fighting any kind of infection like a cold or ear infection.

I hope he continues to eat well he does not have reflux, but do know that there is treatment available if he does.