Table manners? Monkey, PLEASE.

[sgmom]

Oh my...

I have two problems (probably more, but let's focus on two).

1. My barely 17 month old daughter eats with her feet. She puts her feet up on the table, picks up food with her fork, takes the food off the fork with her toes, and inserts them into her mouth. She's always had a fascination of using her feet (picking things up with them, sticking them into things to feel with her toes, manipulating objects, etc), but this "at the table" thing is getting a little out of hand. I've lowered her high chair to almost chin level, thinking she wouldn't be able to reach the table with her feet. Much to my surprise, I was wrong. Any playful parenting suggestions that might help would be appreciated.

2. She's figured out how to push that little button on the strap of her high chair, and unhook herself. This is VERY dangerous since she can't get out of it without falling straight forward. She's never done it at the dinner table (thank goodness), but she'll spend several minutes a day standing in front of it. Fastening, and unfastening it, strapping her toys in, taking them out, etc.

The obvious (and easiest) solution would be to replace the tray part of the chair and remove her from the table. But our house is treated in a very "montessori" kind of way. She has her own little table that we can feed her at, but we like that she sits at the table with us, as part of the family. We removed the tray MONTHS ago (she was maybe 10 or 11 months) because she was never happy eating on the tray, even if we pushed it close to us. She wants to eat at the table with us, and even gets upset if we try to cut her food for her, so we have to do it before serving her. Miss Independent will have none of the tray.

Suggestions?

[jeannineb]

Um, OK. That sounds extremely CUTE! But, I can see where you might want it to stop after a while.

I have two "what ifs" that probably won't work, but hey, it's worth a shot. Will she sit in your lap and eat her food? I know 17 month olds can be extremely messy, but clean-ish finger foods? The other suggestion might be to use another chair, at the table, that she could stand at and eat? Use the seat of the chair for her own little table? If she is standing while she eats, she can't use her feet and she would still be at the table with you. She is also loose and free to run around, etc, which may not work either for obvious reasons. But removing the high chair and keeping her at the table seem to be the two best solutions to both of the problems.

Like I said, I have no idea if this will work, but I couldn't read and not post, it's just too funny!

Good luck!

[Rico'sAlice]

Maybe put her in lace up boots that she can't get off herself. Don't put them on right before meals, but a little earlier when they will be fun to put on (for pretending to be an astronaut or basketball player or something.) And then if she asks to have them taken off during dinner you won't be able to until the meal is over because you are busy eating and don't want to get martian germs on your hands. Or maybe she has to keep her boots on because a shark is circling under the table and he'll bite her toes if she takes off ehr boots. (Obviously don't say that if it will be genuinely scary to her, but my son loves to pretend to be scared of sharks but is actually afraid. He knows we're pretending.)

[Marsupialmom]

Put her in a chair. I doubt she will fall more once or twice. She will most likely sit on her knees. Maybe get a booster to strap in the chair. At that age we quite high chairs and boosters because they were more dangerous than regular chairs. My kids were monkeys and more likely to get hurt off of things they couldn't control.

If she continues to eat with her toes, the let diner time be done. You can give her bathtub/shower cover time in a washable area to play with stuff with her toes.

[pianojazzgirl]

By that age both of my kids had thoroughly rejected the highchair and would eat kneeling on a regular chair at the table. If your dd would be into that it would solve both problems - no possibility of a strap being opened in the middle of a meal, and no way to use her toes if she's kneeling. Just keep her chair right next to you so you'll be within arm's reach (if you're worried about her falling).

Good luck!

[sgmom]

We tried putting her in a regular chair and she's too short to sit, and she does NOT want to kneel (she wants to stand), and this leads to leaning WAY over the table, or trying to climb up onto it. So tonight we ended up bringing over one of her little chairs from her kid table, and she stood up on that and ate some of her dinner (I guess it's hard to eat while standing). So far, this seems to be the best idea until she gets a little older (or old enough to understand that we don't eat with our feet).

Letting her free stand (on the floor) with the freedom to come and go doesn't really work for me either, as it's not how I want to help her develop healthy table manners.

I've also tried putting on shoes, but she'll put her shoes in the food, then lick the food off of them. Ew! I've also tried the hungry shark eating her toes thing, but that's a big game for her and it doesn't do much to discourage the habit.

It's not really bothering me THAT much, and it didn't really bothered me at all when she first started doing it so many months ago. But it seems to have developed into a habit (my bad!), even if she's not eating with her feet, she likes to keep them up on the table while she eats. She doesn't do it EVERY time, and when she gets completely out of control I do take the food away. This doesn't seem to matter either. She'll just lay ont he floor and suck her toes, and all is happy again.

She's a funny kid, that's for sure. Some things I don't really make a big deal out of (this is one of them), but it's the table manners thing that I'd like to somehow teach for times when we want to go out for dinner, or eat at a friends house (which she IS better at).

USUALLY if I push hard enough ("I don't think it's funny. I do not like your feet on the table. Please take them down."), she'll sit nicely. But she'd definitely at that cheeky stage where SHE thinks it's funny, so she keeps doing it.

Like I said though, it's not really THAT big of a deal to me right now. Later, might be another story though.

It's nice to hear your thoughts! THANKS!

[ariatrance]

Although my son never ate with his feet, he has wanted to put them on the table during meals. We were consistent about gently removing his feet from the table and telling him 'No' but it was never highlighted/obsessed over/over-attended by us - we went back to whatever we were talking about, etc. We moved the high chair back away from the table where he couldn't reach it. Now that he's in a booster, I scoot him all the way up to the table, so he can't put his feet up if he wanted to. The chair is too heavy and he has no leverage to scoot himself back. He doesn't really try anymore; he's moved on to other annoying habits during mealtime.

Changing habits is painful for anyone. I vaguely recall something about 21 days to change a habit. So maybe come up with a plan that every member can be consistent administering and try it for 3 weeks. If it doesn't work, make up plan B.

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by ariatrance

We were consistent about gently removing his feet from the table and telling him 'No' but it was never highlighted/obsessed over/over-attended by us - we went back to whatever we were talking about, etc.

This is pretty much what we've been doing for the last month or so. Nothing else we tried worked, so we were hoping she would just get over it (especially if she has no strong reaction from us).

I'm curious about this "21 day to change a habit" thing. I know it takes 3 weeks for your taste buds to develop a memory, but if it works for changing habits too then I'll try it for sure!

[ariatrance]

I just googled the 21 day habit theory. It totally depends on who you look at as to whether it's a proven or unproven theory. Figures....

I guess the point is you do something everyday consistently/same way, then eventually you get to the point where you do it without even thinking about doing it. Or something like that.