do you get along better or worse now that you homeschool?

[ktmeyer]

My husband's main concern with us homeschooling my 10 year old is one of family harmony. My 10 year old can be stubborn and argumentative, trying to get the last word, etc. My husband is afraid that if he is home than my son and I will be at each other's throats. My instincts say that things will be better if he is home more with me, and has less time with a group of other 10 year olds. Any thoughts?

[zjande]

Well, I happen to be of the opinion that a lot of kids' bad attitudes today are picked up at school, or from tv shows. So, I think it's likely your son would be better off at home with you. Who knows what public school could do for his attitude over the next 6 years? Ya know? Is ps gonna make it better??

Good luck with your decision making!

[kittie313]

Well, my oldest is only in 1st grade, but in K she picked up some serious attitude at ps. Now she's still a handful and a sassy little thing, and she really knows how to push my buttons since we are a LOT alike, but she has improved over this school year at home. I was worried that I'd want to throttle her when we decided to bring her back home, but honestly we took summer break as our deschooling time and then started up at home at the beginning of August, and she is slowly getting MUCH better as time goes on. We're undecided about if we'll continue to homeschool long-term, but we are looking forward to seeing how her attitude continues to improve over the next couple school years.

So yes, we get along better now with her at home than we did with her at public school. Although some days (like the first half of this week) I do daydream about putting them back in public so I can get a freaking break from them because they are being unusually rude, fighting more, and just making me want to scream. I love it though, and those days do pass. I had two in a row this week, and woke up this morning dreading the day until I realized that my 6yo had gotten the tv on quietly so she and her little sisters could watch their favorite shows, and so far only ONE breakout of arguing because the 6yo wanted to play the 5yo's computer game on the 5yo's computer. lol I'm feeling much better about hsing now today than I did the prior two days LOL

[Callimom]

I pulled my son out of grade 1 and saw an immediate difference in how he related to his younger siblings and to me. School was not a good fit for him and he was overwhelmed by the noise/chaos/activity. For him, he spent his entire day trying to hold it together and had nothing left to deal effectively with family.

I'm not sure that will translate to your experience though. If you haven't already read it you might enjoy Hold on To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. It talks about cementing the relationship between parents and children and how long periods of time with same aged peers can can interfer with that.

hth
Karen

[AAK]

MUCH better!!!!!!!!!

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by Karenwith4

I pulled my son out of grade 1 and saw an immediate difference in how he related to his younger siblings and to me. School was not a good fit for him and he was overwhelmed by the noise/chaos/activity. For him, he spent his entire day trying to hold it together and had nothing left to deal effectively with family.

I'm not sure that will translate to your experience though. If you haven't already read it you might enjoy Hold on To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. It talks about cementing the relationship between parents and children and how long periods of time with same aged peers can can interfer with that.

hth
Karen

We had a similar experience as above (and I 2nd the rec. for the book)-- and my dh had the same initial concerns as the OPs. DH thought our ds might be worse at home, but the opposite happened. The positive change was noticeable to other friends and family within months of pulling ds out of school. I wish we had pulled him sooner.

[briansmama]

Well, my ds can be challenging for me because we are so different. He gets frustrated with me over every little detail because I am not detail-oriented and he is extremely sensitive to everything from the tags on his clothing to the softness of his bread for lunch.

Ds has never been to school and I strongly believe homeschooling is the best thing for him. Right now, I'm not sure it is the best thing for me. I'm having a very difficult time with all of the arguing, fighting, and lack of peacefulness in our home at the moment.

The only thing that prevents me from enrolling him in a charter waldorf school nearby is knowing that the chaos, disorganization, and peer pressure that happens in school would likely make the problem worse, not better.

I just can't give up on homeschooling him. He loves learning and I would hate to take that away from him by sending him to school, and with his personality, school would absolutely teach him to hate learning.

[One_Girl]

My dd and I clash a lot more now that I am homeschooling her, but bringing her home this year was the alternative to a very negative situation. She is learning a lot more at home than she would have if she stayed at school because I am not more obsessed with labeling her than teaching her (her teacher was). It is not an ideal thing for us though. I have to really work hard to connect with her on a daily basis and I am very drained. We do have more good moments too since we are together all the time, but I miss the mostly great moments we had when I wasn't in charge of teaching and being a mom. I think that you should homeschool your son if you think that is the best choice though. You can always put him back in public school if it doesn't work out.

[DaughterOfKali]

It's pretty much the same, here.

[CariOfOz]

Well, we only had half a year of K, and that was 3yrs ago! I think we're about the same, they still drive me mental some days But I think it's far better THIS way than it would be if they were at school learning new and improved means of bad behavior?

[BedHead]

My 16 yo daughter and I get along far better than any other 16 yo and their mother I've ever met or heard of. Seriously - I don't think our relationship could really be much better. She's an AWESOME kid. She's been unschooling for 2 years now

[Shellie]

I also have seen my kids' attitudes and behavior improve after leaving school (we've left it twice).

[BusyBee]

My son is an intense kid and we often butt heads. WHen I suggested I pull him out of school and homeschool, my husband was concerned for MY sanity and that the amount of fighting we had been having would only intensify. He is in 3rd grade after being in a very sweet school for 3 years with loving, caring students and staff. Was I crazy for taking him away from this? Actually, this was the best thing I could have done, while we did initially struggle (mostly trying to find our homeschool style) my son is a much happier person who feels like he has some control over his life and what and how he learns. Last year in 2nd grade his behavior had gotten so bad, my husband and I feared for the safety of ourselves and the younger children. Now, my son is rarely ever violent. My son is easily stressed out and has a very strong need to be with his family. He needs a lot of freedom and emotional stability. He gets that by being at home. Oddly enough, we actually have a better social life because when he was going to school he was too stressed out at the end of the day to play with people and just neede down-time. Now by the time it is afternoon, he is ready to play with other people and go on playdates and such.