Sticky situation

[bdavis337]

Lately I'm becoming concerned about my neighbors and their interpretation of what goes on in my home, and outside in our shared public space. We live in a housing complex, townhouses and apartments. Mark is very, very loud, has a lot of public tantrums and small meltdowns. A few people have made comments to the association office recently, one even filing a noise complaint about a meltdown he had in the main parking lot area. I had that dismissed, but the manager did suggest I be aware that "people" are watching us.

W.T.F. ? How can I be proactive about this without being TOO proactive and making people thing something bad is going on in my house? I'm specifically concerned with someone calling the authorities simply because my autistic 4 year old is having a tantrum in public and I can't calm him. The best and only reliable tactic is for me to walk away from him, which many people don't respond well to.

What do I do here? I refuse to live inside all year long.

[aslyn]

I would talk to the other residents, if your outside with ds and there is another neighbor peeking out or observing whats going on I would wave or say Hi and initiate a conversation. I would say something like "hes a great kid, he austistic and we have our days but for the most part hes awesome" 99% of people know/have heard of autism..and will tend to excuse the behaviors of sn kids. I also live in a complex and alot of people talk, your next door neighbor might know so and so down the hall who knows so and so in another building etc..if word spreads that your ds is "special" (I am in no way demeaning him) it will be easier to deal with in the long run.

On the authorities I would make up packets for the complex manager, as well as for anyone who may come knocking. If CPS shows up show them documentation from your ped, OT's (if any) and school records etc as well as some print outs of stuff you found online or wherever in dealing with your son..It's their job to investigate if someone does call, but you can quickly diffuse the situation by proving that you are taking a proactive stance and doing everything possible to give him a happy home.

Good luck! I know how hard it can be to live right in the middle of so many people and feel like your under constant survelience

[Lilypie32]

Is there any way you could tell someone in the complex (the gossip queen or king) that your son has autism? Perhaps if people knew they'd be more understanding. Don't' laugh. I know many people have no clue what autism is or how it varies per person but perhaps it might help a little.

Other than that I would just ignore others and do your best to take care of your child in each situation. Often we become self conscious of what others think of us when we are attending to our kids but try not to focus on them. Just keep your focus on your child and remain calm and in control.

[Linda on the move]

I agree with the others. Make sure everyone knows he is autistic.