After-school clases "necessary"?

[paakbaak]

ok, my child is 4yo. almost all of his classmates go to some kind of after-school activity...but my son doesnñt wat to. i have never made him do anything or go anywhere... you know what i mean. but i´ve tried.

we´ve tried many things; swimming, skill activity, karate, etc.
looks at one class, doesn´t want to participate and ask me to leave and never ever come back.

the strange thing is that we get home and he sais he wants to go to any class, karate, ice-skating, piano, etc. he sais he wants to.

he gets scared easily, isn´t the type to let go of my hand and walk into a room where he doesn´t know anyone, ya know?
so, i think maybe he isn´t "ready", but what if he is but i don´t know what to do???

what do you think?

[angelandmisha]

What type of school is he in? Do you feel like he "should" go to classes or are you really feeling like he wants to but is just sort of afraid? Are there any classes the two of you could do together? Personally, I don't think he "needs" extra classes, but if you think he wants them, I also don't see anything wrong with them. Is there a Music Together class in your area? It's an awesome program that you can go to with him and he won't have to let go of your hand if he doesn't want to! My little guy is sort of similar- it takes him a long time to warm up and he is generally quite happy to observe for a good while before trying things. He loves our Music Together class and has fun there, but where I really see the benefit is at home. He's always playing instruments or singing the songs from class. I can't say enough good things about the program. It might be a good way for you to give him the experience of a class without having to be away from you or overwhelmed by too many other kiddos.

[Cherry Alive]

I really don't think extra-curricular classes are worth a dime (except to a parent's ego) unless the kid is actively showing an interest to be in them.

I was shoved into a bunch as a young child (ballet, tap, drama, piano, horseback-riding, summer camp), and not a single one is something I enjoy doing or even have a talent in as an adult. Ironically, the things I loved to do my folks never bothered to put me in (art, running, hockey, etc...). They said wanted to expand my horizons, but I think they just felt insecure when hearing their relatives brag about all the things their kids were (forced to) doing. LOL.

My DH's parents never put him into any after school classes, and he's a well-rounded adult.

[paakbaak]

music together is great, here we have piano lessons, organ, for little kids. he pretends to play piano and guitarr at home and sais he wants to go to classes... i just don´t know.

cherry_alive: you said it. i also was taken to everything, from tennis to iceskating, etc. and i also never did any of those things later in life. laso, the things i was interested in, guitar, belly dancing, etc, i was never taken to.

so yeah, i don´t think it´s "necessary", i just see everyone else do it, so why not my son? ya know?

i also think parents don´t know what to do with their kids in the afternoon. i think they prefer to spend the money and an hour sitting there looking at them do something else, than sit and play with them. tough thing to say but i see it this way also.

i´m on a waiting list of a "club", they have pool, gardens, play area, etc. so i think we´ll just spend our afternoons there then, and wait until he gets a bit older and ASKS for something he enjoys. right?

my kid goes to a normal kinder. small, 5 girls and him in the class. but he has boy friends at the park and is getting better about playing "with the guys"!
he has music 3 times a week at school, and he absolutely LOVES his school. we spend the afternoons at the park and playing here at home.

i just see we are diferent in THIS aspect as well...hard sometimes being the odd ones!

[K1329]

I don't think they're necessary, but, do think they can be lots of fun for the kids. I think if he says he wants to go, then doesn't participate and wants to leave, that it may be a shyness/slow to warm up issue. Perhaps attend a class you can participate in, too, like the pps have suggested. Or, get him to attend a class with a friend for support? You could talk to him about giving the classes a couple of tries before quitting them. Dd, who hasn't done any after school activities in awhile, usually took several classes to warm up to the classmates/instructors. Anyway, if he keeps expressing interest, I wouldn't abandon after-school activities quite yet.

[RiverSky]

Children don't even need to be in school at the age of 4. Why is he in school?

[paakbaak]

for starters, he´s in kinder because i work in the mornings. and he´s staying in school because he has had a great time since day one, it´s cool for everyone!

afternoon time...i think we´ll just let it be for now. little by little!

thanks ladies!

[sapphire_chan]

Maybe he wants to take the classes because his friends talk about it at school?

So you guys could do something together so he can talk about it at school, but then he can still get lots of time with you. Even if it's something simple like getting a dance book from the library and learning how to waltz together,

[paakbaak]

exactly! that is what i´ve been trying to do.
i´m taking a yoga for kids course, next weekend is the full weekend course, so we´ve been doing that for about 30minutes a day.
no library nearby...i miss our library!