This is a mess.
We carry no mortgage, had no car payments for 12 years until this summer when we had to borrow from my dad, etc. We live on one income of about 50K and have years of experience of living well within our means. My husband and I get frugality basically.
But my son is medically expensive to put it mildly. We have a high deductible plan (best through husband's employer/state of Indiana) and his outright medical expenses monthly are outrageous and the necessary but not covered expenses are almost as bad. Yet they really are necessary. And my other son and I have expensive health issues too much of which also isn't covered. It's all snowballing lately and we're really, really struggling. I spent almost nothing for Christmas or my son's birthdays (70 I think combined on them for Christmas and birthday both and 50 for all other family). I need to go through everything I guess but it seems like almost everything we buy is necessary.
And we aren't making it. We're spending more than we're making which goes against every fiber of my being. We thought we would be ok because we got huge insurance reimbursement from the end of last year (1500 reimbursed that we had paid to providers) and a sizable tax return. It's all gone and then some. We've had had three major appliances completely break and they couldn't be repaired/had to be replaced just since Thanksgiving and those bills haven't even been covered/are looming over us. A six months same as cash on one of those appliances is coming due in May. A water heater is being paid off a little at a time with our local hardware store. That follows replacing an oven and dishwasher in June (couldn't repaired/we tried) and replacing a roof (only paid 1000 insurance deductible on that fortunately). Our transmission went out for the third time in 1.5 years this summer and so we felt we had to replace a van as well and borrowed from my dad at a low rate of interest. We've always paid cash for cars and drove them until they broke while we saved so that alone shows we're failing to save anymore. My husband is worried we won't be able to pay off our credit card this month for the first time in our lives. He told me Ramsey says his plan won't help if there are major health expenses. Our second vehicle won't start (stopped running this week) and we can't afford to repair it and with my son's issues it makes me nervous to be trapped here without a vehicle. And how do I homeschool without transportation? Yet I have to be without.
Even without all that extra though my husband told me this week-end that our day to day expenses lately (talking basically food, heat/water/etc and medical alone) are outpacing his income. I feel like I've been punched.
I'll be honest...finances have always ranged from making me bored to making me anxious and I avoid them. They are very much my husbands thing. I don't know where we are except when he tells me we are in trouble I know it's true.
I think probably we should lay every penny out and figure out how to make this work somehow but if it's really impossible the thought of that makes me entirely depressed and stressed. I know there are small things--like my husband drinks 2 liter cokes and eats candy a lot--that maybe can be trimmed but he seems to think that it's too small to matter and you can't cut discretionary things out completely (I admit, he spends very little but it has to add up to something, right? I bought a book yesterday I've been really wanting as I think it might help me with anxiety and now I'm feeling like I should have not spent the $12). We have really cheap internet w/our phone company and I feel like I need it for sanity and homeschooling both. No cable, no dates, no eating out, etc. though. Still there are small things like my book and his cokes. Can you really cut discretionary entirely? Would you? Is really impossible to manage finances with high medical expenses? Does anyone have insight?
We carry no mortgage, had no car payments for 12 years until this summer when we had to borrow from my dad, etc. We live on one income of about 50K and have years of experience of living well within our means. My husband and I get frugality basically.
But my son is medically expensive to put it mildly. We have a high deductible plan (best through husband's employer/state of Indiana) and his outright medical expenses monthly are outrageous and the necessary but not covered expenses are almost as bad. Yet they really are necessary. And my other son and I have expensive health issues too much of which also isn't covered. It's all snowballing lately and we're really, really struggling. I spent almost nothing for Christmas or my son's birthdays (70 I think combined on them for Christmas and birthday both and 50 for all other family). I need to go through everything I guess but it seems like almost everything we buy is necessary.
And we aren't making it. We're spending more than we're making which goes against every fiber of my being. We thought we would be ok because we got huge insurance reimbursement from the end of last year (1500 reimbursed that we had paid to providers) and a sizable tax return. It's all gone and then some. We've had had three major appliances completely break and they couldn't be repaired/had to be replaced just since Thanksgiving and those bills haven't even been covered/are looming over us. A six months same as cash on one of those appliances is coming due in May. A water heater is being paid off a little at a time with our local hardware store. That follows replacing an oven and dishwasher in June (couldn't repaired/we tried) and replacing a roof (only paid 1000 insurance deductible on that fortunately). Our transmission went out for the third time in 1.5 years this summer and so we felt we had to replace a van as well and borrowed from my dad at a low rate of interest. We've always paid cash for cars and drove them until they broke while we saved so that alone shows we're failing to save anymore. My husband is worried we won't be able to pay off our credit card this month for the first time in our lives. He told me Ramsey says his plan won't help if there are major health expenses. Our second vehicle won't start (stopped running this week) and we can't afford to repair it and with my son's issues it makes me nervous to be trapped here without a vehicle. And how do I homeschool without transportation? Yet I have to be without.
Even without all that extra though my husband told me this week-end that our day to day expenses lately (talking basically food, heat/water/etc and medical alone) are outpacing his income. I feel like I've been punched.
I'll be honest...finances have always ranged from making me bored to making me anxious and I avoid them. They are very much my husbands thing. I don't know where we are except when he tells me we are in trouble I know it's true.
I think probably we should lay every penny out and figure out how to make this work somehow but if it's really impossible the thought of that makes me entirely depressed and stressed. I know there are small things--like my husband drinks 2 liter cokes and eats candy a lot--that maybe can be trimmed but he seems to think that it's too small to matter and you can't cut discretionary things out completely (I admit, he spends very little but it has to add up to something, right? I bought a book yesterday I've been really wanting as I think it might help me with anxiety and now I'm feeling like I should have not spent the $12). We have really cheap internet w/our phone company and I feel like I need it for sanity and homeschooling both. No cable, no dates, no eating out, etc. though. Still there are small things like my book and his cokes. Can you really cut discretionary entirely? Would you? Is really impossible to manage finances with high medical expenses? Does anyone have insight?
It looks like you are dealing with mito issues, therefore long term expenses... that could figure into your decision making
) tell me that a little discretionary is actually a good idea.
I hope you can work through this & find a good solution!!
