Preschool Relationships

[Maluhia]

My daughter, 5, "broke up" with her preschool boyfriend of two years at school today. I've noticed that while their kid-love is pretty strong DD is starting to break up and make other choices more often in play. Her long-term guy's Mom and I are friends and I know he's hurting - told his Mom he was so sad about it that he did not want to eat dinner tonight.

So how do I support DD in that staying in relationships she is not interested in is okay, but she needs to be kind to other children.

I know this is not sexual, or romance and I don't want to sexualize normal childhood partnerships that happen but at the same time I feel like I need to give her a *hug* and support her in learning to change relationships to work for her. If she wants to call this boy her "just friend" and the other boy "boyfriend" I'm okay with that role play, but how do I teach her to do it while having empathy for other kid's feelings?

[madskye]

DD, 4.5, has a boyfriend at school but I told her that Daddy and I don't think it's appropriate to have a boyfriend until she is 13. That "G" can be her favorite boy, and it's ok to like him a lot, but he is just a friend like all the other kids in the class, because 4.5 is too young to have a boyfriend. So she doesn't call him her BF, but I know they sit together at lunch and snack!! Ah, young love...

So, that's all semantics really, but the message I am trying to get across to her is that a romantic relationship is something that you need a bit of maturity to handle.

I think all you can do is keep an eye out to make sure your DD is being kind to everyone. It doesn't sound like she's being cruel to her little ex, just that she's formed a partiality with someone new? What does breakingup even mean when you are 5--you will still see the little boy and play with him, especially since you and the mom are friendly?

I try to keep everything inclusive, even with the girls. There is one girl at school that DD calls her best friend, but we have play dates with everyone, you know?