How do you feel about people holding your baby?

[Mawood]

Our daughter is 5 weeks old and we had a very calm postpartum period where we had told people not to visit and we were just for ourselves. Now mostly relatives knock on the door and want to see Olivia and I am surprised at about how clingy I am as the Mom. I really have a problem passing Olivia into other arms like my husbands father (the grandfather of Olivia!!!) who is showing up a lot with his wife (husbands stepmom) and with them I always get the feel they just want to hold Olivia for picture options which makes me really mad. We are not very close to them and that is of course a big factor, but even with people I do like I am not comfortable having them hold Olivia. I just like my husband or me to hold her.

How do you feel about other people holding your baby? I just feel Olivia is still so little and she seems to be most comfortable with my husband and I.

[Gray's Mommy]

I totally go by how Liam is that moment...sometimes he is really fussy &
I prefer to hold him then. If he is happy-I'll let certain people hold him--not evryone gets to touch the baby. I just worry about germs/rsv/illness too. Once you let someone hold them, they get right in the baby's face.

[geo_girl]

in a word

grateful!

I'm glad to have someone take her off of my hands for a couple of minutes.

[Mawood]

Originally Posted by Gray's Mommy

. I just worry about germs/rsv/illness too. Once you let someone hold them, they get right in the baby's face.

I know. I am mostly concerned about the germs because people just seem to like touching baby's hands (which go right back into her mouth) or face. And I really don't like other people kissing her But of course you can't really tell that to the grandfather. Fortunately my husband agrees with me but sometimes you just can't control it!

[AfricanQueen99]

After the second week I was pretty much throwing him in anybody's arms. People love holding babies and I love having a moment to myself!

[jtrt]

As time goes by, I get better with it. We have a select group who hold Edelweiss and I appreciate the "time off."

Amy

[StrawberryFields]

I'm not big on it, not during the newborn stage anyway. Even dh only holds the baby maybe 10 minutes a day because frankly, she wants to be where the food is. If we are in a quiet environment (home, small get together, etc.) I am totally happy to hand her off to someone who asks. When it is something like her recent baptism party, where there is 25 people and she is already freaked out and overstimulated, no. And no matter what is going on, as soon as she fusses I take her back.

I know people think I am being a pill (I caught MIL and SIL exchanging "looks" when I walked up and grabbed a crying baby out of MILs hands) I don't really care. I am not going to force dd to be held by someone when she doesn't want to or isn't comfortable. There is a lifetime to get to know her and we can do it at her pace. Heck, dd1 screamed bloody murder whenever FIL came near her for the first 7-8 months. Now she is 2 and the biggest Grandpa's Girl anyone has ever met. Just let the kids be and get to know them at their own pace, no need to handle babies like a game of hot potato! They are people after all, not toys!

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by AfricanQueen99

After the second week I was pretty much throwing him in anybody's arms. People love holding babies and I love having a moment to myself!

This is me exactly! Although I'm just exchanging one baby for another, really, and giving Nigella the attention she wants/needs.

[Sharlla]

Originally Posted by geo_girl

in a word

grateful!

I'm glad to have someone take her off of my hands for a couple of minutes.

same here

[~Christina~]

in a word

grateful!

I'm glad to have someone take her off of my hands for a couple of minutes.

Another ditto to Charlene!

[feminist~mama]

I remember feeling like I had a limit with my DD- it was okay for others to hold her for a bit, then I *really* just needed her back... You'll all get through it!

[nola79]

It doesn't bother me, but it's very rare. Only my mom or DH's parents occasionally. Of course, 7 yr old ds wants to hold her all the time, pick her up, walk around with her, etc. That makes me a litte nervous, even though I am always right there with him.

[hakeber]

I have no problem with this. I like watching other people's soothing techniques to see new things to try, but if their methods don't work after a minute or two or her fussiness escalates, I will take her back.

I will be going back to work eventually and I want her to know I am not the only safe and loving set of arms out there. My housekeeper holds her and feeds her ebm if she is hungry when I go out now and then, and dh holds her and I have a number of friends who just love her like family and they are wonderful with her.

I had a friend who wouldn't let anyone hold her baby for the first few months, she would just sit there moaning and sighing "...he never lets me put him down, it's so unfair, I can't have a moment to myself" and I FINALLY convinced her to let me hold him so she could go have a soak in the hot tubs at this natural spa place we all went to, and at first he fussed a bit, and she ran over and I asked her to please give me ten seconds, and I sang and bounced and danced with him and he calmed right down, and in ten seconds was smiling and laughing...the baby loved jazz, and she never would have known that if she had just scooped him away immediately. She felt guilty at first for letting someone else soothe him, but then she had a real bath and a real nap for the first time in FOUR months and she was really a new energized person again. She started to trust in her mommy community.

I think it's really good to share parenting ideas. Not everything will work, but sometimes you need to give people half a minute to show you something new. I would never force a terrified baby to stay in someone's arms, or force a newbie to hold my fussy baby if they were uncomfortable, but I do believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt long enough to let them try.

It is hard, but the more you learn, the easier it gets.

Just my opinion.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by hakeber

I have no problem with this. I like watching other people's soothing techniques to see new things to try, but if their methods don't work after a minute or two or her fussiness escalates, I will take her back....

This is pretty much how I feel about it.

[memz]

I didn't think I would be this way, but I don't like having other people holding her. It's either me or my hubby, but anybody else I don't really like it but I don't know why... She's just soo tiny...I guess with time I'll get used to it.

[marinak1977]

It doesn't bother me as long as it's not too long and I take him back if he isn't happy. I do appreciate a moment to stretch out and rest a little.

[AfricanQueen99]

I agree with Rebekah 100%...as women, we need the support of others and, as babies, they need to know there are other safe people.

[lalaland42]

Originally Posted by geo_girl

in a word

grateful!

I'm glad to have someone take her off of my hands for a couple of minutes.

Me too! I wish I had more people to hold my baby.

[boigrrrlwonder]

With my first child, I didn't want anyone to hold her. With my second child, I like the chance to have one-on-one time with my older one.

[Happiestever]

This may sound awful but I love when others hold the baby. It has mostly been at preschool where I am busy with the other two and I need to intervene with one of the older ones and the baby just happens to be out of the wrap and awake at the same moment.

But I have three young ones and if I just had him things would surely be different. I remember having my first and it was really irritating if I had just picked up the baby and my MIL would want to hold the baby. Umm..why didn't you pick them up when they were there before?