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SO Moms of Children Close Together... - Page 4

post #61 of 76
My two are 18 months apart. I found it challenging at first but now I really like it! Honestly, I would LOVE to TTC #3 now, but we are not at a place in our lives where we can do that. DH is actually still undecided about if he even wants a #3-we've agreed to wait 3 years before we discuss TTC again.
post #62 of 76
Quote:
I guess we're all supposed to have two kids, spaced 3 or4 years apart
Nope. We're planning to TTC a sibling to be born when DD's 3 years 9 months (I know, specific much?!), and MIL has already informed us that no, no, we can't do that, they'll never be friends. Which doesn't hold a lot of water for me, given that a) DH and his sistr, who are two years apart, aren't great friends and b) I'm closest to my sister who's 4 years older than me and my sister who's 10 years younger, not the two sisters on either side of me who are 2 years older/younger.

So you just can't win. Also, people at church will start nagging you to conceive right now. Like, in the foyer, if possible.
post #63 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
So you just can't win. Also, people at church will start nagging you to conceive right now. Like, in the foyer, if possible.
post #64 of 76
I have an 8 year old, a 20 month old and a 6 month old. The big gap was great in some ways, but it really was 'starting over' in a new and exhausting way. #3 was planned to be close, though it happened MUCH sooner than we anticipated.

Having two who are SO close is actually a lot of fun. Now that DS 2 is able to interact more, his older brother has a ball bringing him toys and just playing with him. I also see that the world doesn't revolve around them the same way it did around my oldest, and I think that is a whole lot better for them going forward.

That said- given how close they are, *I* am tired, and I feel the physical toll heavily. Constantly being pregnant and nursing for years is a lot to ask of a body!
post #65 of 76
On this topic, I'm theoretically 17 DPO today. My temp has dropped the last 2 days so I'm hoping, hoping, hoping to see AF tomorrow. If I am preg, I would have 4 kids under four when babe is born.
post #66 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
So you just can't win. Also, people at church will start nagging you to conceive right now. Like, in the foyer, if possible.
It's true! Two weeks after I got married I was already getting asked "Is there a little bun in the oven yet?"
post #67 of 76
Quote:
It's true! Two weeks after I got married I was already getting asked "Is there a little bun in the oven yet?"
Eugh. Every time Mum met a friend of hers after DH and I got married, the friend would open the conversation by demanding "Are they pregnant yet? Why not?" We actually conceived DD about six months after we got married - hardly dawdling by most people's standards - but she clearly found the whole thing suspicious and sinister. And I'd only ever met this woman once.
post #68 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by mambera View Post
For those with planned close spacing, what did you do about breastfeeding?

I see from a poll on the Family Planning board that it's common to take a year or more (up to 3 even) for cycles to return. I'm 9 mo PP right now and no sign of AF.

Did you wean in order to get pg and if so, at what age?
I did nothing. I bf all my children and af came back at different times for each. With ds1, it came back around nine or ten months, just as he self weaned. With dd I was shocked that it came at like 6mos. and she was still ebf. I got pg when she was 11 mos old. With ds2, I didn't think it was coming back, lol! Once I decided I was ready to ttc, I had to wait for it. It came back when he was about 19mos old, but then I was nursing him and his sister so that figured that accounted for it. With my youngest, it didn't come back until he was like two and half!!
post #69 of 76
My girls are 16 months apart, unplanned. Ironically I have a sister who is 17 months younger than I am and she drives me insane, even today now that we're both adults. Because of that, I had always planned on 3 years or so between my kids but obviously that's not the way it worked out.

I love their age difference now. The first 6 months were extremely rough, but I absolutely love it now. They play together SO well, are the best of friends and have a ball together. But. They argue, bicker, nit pick, and fight constantly when they're not best of friends. They're into the same things at the same time and see the same exact things happening as my sister and I. Little one purposely pushes buttons of the older one, older one is constantly on younger one for not doing the activity "right".

We plan to TTC this summer and if all goes well #3 will be a little over 4 years younger than #2 and 5.5 years younger than #1.
post #70 of 76
I planned DS1 and DD. They are 27 months apart. We actually tried for a couple months.

I *bawled* over finding out I was pregnant with DS2 when DD was only 14 months old.

He brought his loving, joyful personality into our family at a time when we needed it most. Couldn't have predicted it at all at the time of his conception.

I would not change it now for ANYTHING.

The other thing is when I think about the two BOYS spacing, it is 4 years and if they were much farther apart, what would they have in common?! It is cute to watch them play now, all of them.

DS2 will be 24 months old when this baby comes. And, if this baby is a girl, DD will be 3 years, almost 11 months older than her sister.

Really if the ones of the same gender were much farther apart, *they* would have little/nothing in common. They'll already be pretty far apart....sometimes I sort of wish the two boys weren't so far apart in age for when they are older...like when one starts middle school and the other is in about 2nd grade?

I'm feeling MUCH BETTER about the 'close spacing' in that perspective.
I did, and probably always will, feel DD got a little robbed. She was a higher-need more baby-baby. (None of my kids were REALLY high-need but dd is the highest.)
post #71 of 76
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBinSATX View Post
Oops just saw the breastfeeding question.
In part we didn't try earlier because I didn't want to chance losing my supply and having to put DS on formula. My supply did drop at around 4 months but he kept going anyway.
It was NOT always fun but I was glad he was still nursing by the time he was 2.
In fact he still wants to nurse...
Yeah, this was my true concern about conceiving before 3-4yrs. I am a big believer in "term nursing" and would hate to lose my supply and/or for DD to lose her latch early. We put 1yr down as the minimum to avoid formula b/c we knew she loves solids. But she's at 16 months right now and still nurses several times during the day and 2 times at night with a big morning session. *crossing fingers* I took a gamble b/c my mom nursed through her pregnancies and lost the latch on only two kids I think.

If DD hadn't been so open about solid foods, we probably would have started TTA.






Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
Hmmm, didn't see your question. I don't see how a question would be offensive. An accusation, maybe. It is a very very common ASSumption in some AP circles (and I have seen it asserted here over the years too, though it gets halted pretty quickly since there's quite a lot of women who don't have their cycles altered more than a blip by exclusive nursing)--and hooooboy sometimes there is absolutely no question that you are being judged by someone else's mistaken or stereotypical information! You also read about it a lot in breastfeeding lit, ect, so I can understand why some people might jump to conclusions.

I just had to deal with a lot of vocal people. It's a fine line to walk in forming a retort though. For many people they WILL have a nice vacation from ovulation and menstruation as long as they keep up a certain level of nursing. You don't want to say that they won't. But I know when I was going through this (my kids are 8 and almost 7s now), it was really hard to find information and shared experiences about what it was like nursing through your period (my DD shared my hormonal acne during my PMSing when she was nursing, my babies were fussy during PMS and I didnt' realize until my DD told me the milk tasted funny and gave her more farts that perhaps it was hormonal on my part), comparing notes about when milk reduction took place, ect--but I think perhaps people were afraid to talk about it for fear of the "OMG you didn't do it right!!" reaction. I hope that there are more folks breastfeeding through closely spaced pregnancies, and perhaps it was just my area, but there was a distinct down-looking on people who had kids closer than 2-3 years apart because "nature" of course would protect a breastfeeding mom who was doing it "enough" so if that didn't happen for you...well, you must be one of those misguided pacifier people.
This is all so true. DD never had a paci, I nursed on demand, we all sleep in a family bed, etc. But her sleep cycles were long enough to make it happen (or it's my genes haha).

I think though that a lot of suspicion exists surrounding eco bfing/LAM b/c the "guidelines" are completely foreign in our mainstream culture. Most people responded as if I was abusing DD when they learned she didn't have a pacifier. The look of horror on their face was priceless lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
Eugh. Every time Mum met a friend of hers after DH and I got married, the friend would open the conversation by demanding "Are they pregnant yet? Why not?" We actually conceived DD about six months after we got married - hardly dawdling by most people's standards - but she clearly found the whole thing suspicious and sinister. And I'd only ever met this woman once.
My mom did this to me! Drove me crazy! Everytime I called, she would say "OMG OMG you're pregnant aren't you! This is why you're calling!" Or if we dropped by their house, she'd meet me at the door, "Where's the test???!!!"

I think a lot of people were betting on pre-marital pregnancy, too, judging by the comments and grapevine.
post #72 of 76
Well, I'm here late, but ours are planned, sorta.

We don't plan. We just take what we get, which makes all of ours, whenever they come, planned. Sometimes I feel pretty overwhelmed, and pretty tired, but I'm trusting in someone bigger than me to make this work out right, so I trust He'll give me strength to do it, too.

As far as when cycles return during BF, I find that when I get below about 9 hours a day of nursing, my body starts to get into gear. When that happens has been different for each one of mine, based on their own nursing patterns.
post #73 of 76
Mine are 22.5 months apart. Second one was a "surprise." I didn't find out about my pregnancy until I was 16-17 weeks along. Yikes! ha...
post #74 of 76
Ours are all 23 months apart. #2 was an Oops.. Antibiotics worked against the birth control, lol. But it worked out well so #3 was planned. When people realize our oldest was 3 years old (although, nearly 4) when your 3rd was born we get some crazy comments. "Yup, 3 kids within 4 years start to finish". I do like this spacing, its close together but we got through the "little" stage rather quickly in one big swoop. Although, I don't know that I was particularily sane the entire time, lmao.

Now that they are older any 2 combinations of the kids play well together, except all 3 at once. But I think that is with any sibling combo. haha
post #75 of 76
Mine will be just 11 months apart, planned. Well, technically we were "not preventing" but I had already gotten AF back at 5 1/2 weeks PP (wasn't EBF due to major latch/supply issues) so we knew it was certainly possible. It took 3 years to conceive DS and we're in our mid-to-late 30s. Also we wanted to have 'em when God gave 'em. So here we are.

Not sure yet what we're gonna do for the third. If I get AF back right away again, I might have to have a talk with God and DH. DS is a rather high needs 3 month old, I'm 7 weeks pregnant and EXHAUSTED!

I haven't gotten too many snarky comments yet, though even one of my best friends assumed this one was an "oops".
post #76 of 76
Our three are 54 weeks apart. Yes, 54 weeks. I had one and then two weeks after his first birthday, had his twin brothers. It took us a while to get pregnant with the first so we starting trying as soon as possible and what do you know? Twins.

I think you get what you get. In some ivory tower, pristine world, we would have had children spaced exactly 30 months apart or whatever. However, that didn't happen. The first year was just a mess...three babies in diapers, three cribs, etc. However, we somehow managed to get through that and now life couldn't be better. They have never known life without their brothers and are a little posse doing everything together. They look very, very much alike and all wear the same size clothes, etc. and we ALWAYS get asked if they are triplets. The only real downside is that there are no hand me downs. So, we have to buy three bikes and winter coats and three of a lot of things. I envy the families who can do hand me downs.

The only weird thing is that we always thought we would have four. However, the guys are such a little gang that once we were ready to think about a 4th we came to the conclusion that a 4th would be such an outlier that it just didn't make sense. So, we are five. A very, very happy five.
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