I agree carrots work better than sticks, deploying both seems to be the magic ticket.
My 13 year old son recently discovered that shower time is great alone time.
He shares a bedroom with a 5 year old little brother. Before this discovery getting him to bath was a chore, drag, fight, bother. Now he asks for extra showers. 
Grades, super bright kid, never had to study, got a D in his own algebra class, and an A+ in his TA Algebra class.. the one where he helps students that struggle with math. He just was not turning in homework.. or even doing it. Didn't have to, he knew it.. Aced all quizzes and tests.. never showed his work.. that kind of thing.
My son's currency is video games, snowboarding and wakeboarding. We took the video games and lift ticket away.. TILL THE END OF THE YEAR.. (which really sucked over winter break and all of these three day weekends)IF he returned to the honor role where he belongs, he would get them back.. if he didn't.. no wakeboarding this summer...
If his math grade is back.. not only will he board this summer, he will get to drive the boat.. something he has been itching to do.
So far so good.. we'll see.
My husband hillclimbs, so we get the power ugh ugh thing in this house. Just asked him what would turn his crank so to speak and he said make him earn his driving for a season. Chores, grades, self care are all ways to show respect, no respect no horsepower.
My children have great opportunities handed to them. It is their job to make sure they are worthy, they step out of line and the fun stuff disappears. Fuel is expensive, be it in a boat or in a dragster. MAKE HIM EARN IT.
My 13 year old son recently discovered that shower time is great alone time.
He shares a bedroom with a 5 year old little brother. Before this discovery getting him to bath was a chore, drag, fight, bother. Now he asks for extra showers. Grades, super bright kid, never had to study, got a D in his own algebra class, and an A+ in his TA Algebra class.. the one where he helps students that struggle with math. He just was not turning in homework.. or even doing it. Didn't have to, he knew it.. Aced all quizzes and tests.. never showed his work.. that kind of thing.
My son's currency is video games, snowboarding and wakeboarding. We took the video games and lift ticket away.. TILL THE END OF THE YEAR.. (which really sucked over winter break and all of these three day weekends)IF he returned to the honor role where he belongs, he would get them back.. if he didn't.. no wakeboarding this summer...
If his math grade is back.. not only will he board this summer, he will get to drive the boat.. something he has been itching to do.
So far so good.. we'll see.
My husband hillclimbs, so we get the power ugh ugh thing in this house. Just asked him what would turn his crank so to speak and he said make him earn his driving for a season. Chores, grades, self care are all ways to show respect, no respect no horsepower.
My children have great opportunities handed to them. It is their job to make sure they are worthy, they step out of line and the fun stuff disappears. Fuel is expensive, be it in a boat or in a dragster. MAKE HIM EARN IT.
