Angst about my job

[Ditto]

I work a pretty average 9-6 job. I have great benefits (2 wks paid vacation, insurance, easy to take sick time). I think I make a pretty competitive wage. But: The commute is 1 hour each way, I have 3 bosses 2 are difficult one of them extremely so, I don't particularly enjoy what I do or feel challenged by it.
I feel like I'm piddling my life away. But I think other than the commute it's about as good as I can do with the education and experience I have.

My DP has a fantastic job that she loves and is a real career path. She works nights though, we only see each other on the weekends.

So... What would you do? I'm feeling really burnt out on this. What is the point of life if you spend the majority of your awake hours in a mediocre job? What is the point of being in a relationship if you hardly see each other? I'm not trying to be drama, just talking this through.

What are my alternatives? Hmm, I know that's a really open ended question. I'd also love to hear from others who are struggling with similar feelings or have made a better situation.

[Ellien C]

For me, I decided that my job provided me benefits that outweighed the negatives. I put up with a lot for a long time, but I won't say it was soul-crushing. Just that I sucked it up and looked forward to weekends and enjoyed my salary and benefits. Then I switched departments and new people made a HUGE difference. I really like my co-workers and bosses. The work is pretty similar but fitting in with my group makes a HUGE difference. Now, I'm really glad I stayed. I have paid maternity leave and I'll see that third week of vacation in a few months.

You might cross-post in the WOHM forum, even if you aren't a mom. A lot of us there have struggled with job issues and dealt with partners working opposite shifts.

[AllisonR]

I work in a very toxic, stressful enviornment. To the point of being physically ill. At some point the problems outweigh the benefits, and only you can decide when and if that will be. Having two difficult bosses must be very stressful for you. Is 2 weeks off, sick days and insurance more valuable than the stress? Not saying it isn't; only you can decide. But it doesn't seem great to me. 2 weeks is bare minimum, not good. I get 6 weeks, which I realize is the other end of the spectrum. Does your spouse have insurance?

At some point you have to decide it is OK, and accept the stress. Or see if you can change the enviornment. For me, I insisted on a day off. So now I only get 4/5 pay, but I also only work 4/5 and have wednesdays free. That day is worth at least 3 to 5 times more to me than the money.

Is it enough? For the moment, yes. But it is still a struggle. In the long term either the situation has to change (different employees, different office or boss...) or I have to change (quit, find a new job.) Unfortunately at the moment quitting isn't an option and new jobs are rare. So I feel trapped. Maybe you are feeling trapped also, which only makes the stress worse, imo.

[_ktg_]

I felt - ha still! feel this way with my job. Its a great job and the benefits outweigh the negatives (one being - we would have no income) until now.

To start moving myself out from this position, I enrolled in the master's program here (the school covers tutition) to further my knowledge base and hey its a master's degree for free!

I thought I could last for awhile in this position recent events by my boss, tell me its time to go, as there is no path for growth potential or opportunities for advancement or allowance of project ownership. So I'm looking how my skills apply to other positions, I'm patient about it and will find something that fits, but its clear to me and my gut its time to go otherwise I will be in this emotionally abusive job for a long time and end up doubting my skills, values and worth.

[Ditto]

Thank you SO much for your thoughts. You're right, my benefits aren't great, they're pretty standard, which I'm grateful for, but they're easily duplicated somewhere else. DP does have insurance, but I can't get it through her since they don't cover same sex partners.

Ellien - Thank you for the hint about the WOHM forum. I'll go check that out. I'm really glad that your job turned around for you, gives me hope to hear of others who have good situations.

AllisonR - Ugh, I hear you about being physically ill. Sunday nights I'm always an emotional mess and I usually feel sick, just thinking about starting another work week. It's so very difficult. Unfortunately the environment seems to be getting worse, not better. I typically get to work from home on Fridays though and that's my one current sanity saver. Yes, feeling trapped, maybe I need to start looking at options, if only to know that I HAVE options? I hope things start getting better for you! It sounds like you're in an awful situation.

_ktg_ "I will be in this emotionally abusive job for a long time and end up doubting my skills, values and worth" this rings so, so true to me. That's where I'm at. Good luck with the Masters! Sounds like a great program.