How to stop interrupting?

[MyBaby'sSmile]

Any great ideas on how to stop little ones from interrupting? I swear my husband and I have not had a complete conversation in years. I do stop and tell them kindly to please wait, mommy and daddy were talking, but I have been doing this for ages and they don't seem to be improving and it doesn't help our coversation at all. And our conversations are usually a couple of sentences long btw, nothing too lengthy.


Any tips?

[kdescalzi]

I wish I had an answer. There are no complete sentences spoken in this house! I keep telling ds that mommy and daddy are talking please wait a minute but we just get more whining and noooooooo, don't talk! It is so frustrating because I give him and his sister my undivided attention all day and I do sometimes need to speak to their father It is so hard

[Just1More]

This is untried, but if you've tried talking about it, what about NOT talking about it?

Tell them that if they need something when you are talking or someone is speaking to you, that they can put their hand on your arm and wait QUIETLY. As soon as you can, you'll turn to them. Sometimes kids don't know what TO do, and they at least need to know that you know they need you.

After a few trial runs, if they DON'T do it that way, then don't answer them at all. Continue your conversation as if they weren't talking, with a disapproving glance their direction.

At our house, I issue a "two minute penalty." If I am getting things ready for supper, and still carrying things to the table and you ask for a drink, you can be guaranteed your impatient rudeness will earn you the opportunity to be served a drink LAST, everytime.

If you interupt me, I will take longer and longer and longer to finish my conversation, maybe pausing to remind them of how it is to be done, and letting them know that this is their opportunity to practice.

But, I can be a real jerk about rudeness. I don't take it well from anyone.

[PoetryMom]

I understand, we have the same problem and, to boot, DD1 gets very upset if anyone "talks over" her.

I'll share what they taught her in Montessori school. It's called "polite interrupting" Any time they want to speak to anyone else who is already talking (usually the teacher), they place their hand on the person's shoulder and wait to be acknowledged.

We have, or course, adopted this at home. She doesn't always use "polite interrupting" at home, but when she does it's gold! If DH and I are talking, and she remembers to be polite, she rests her hand on my shoulder and waits silently until I'm ready to listen to her. So it's not that we don't get interrupted, but at least we get to finish our sentence (if not our entire thought) before we address DD. She's not perfect, but the bargings have certainly decreased.

...Now DD2 is a whole different story...she's 2 and demands everyone's attention immediately!

[Just1More]

Originally Posted by Just1More

Tell them that if they need something when you are talking or someone is speaking to you, that they can put their hand on your arm and wait QUIETLY. As soon as you can, you'll turn to them. Sometimes kids don't know what TO do, and they at least need to know that you know they need you.

You could try being goofy about it, too. If they have something the HAVE to tell you when you are talking, they could go get the "SAY IT" flag and hop around the room until you see them.

Or they could run to the "I HAVE TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW" mat (you know...it used to be called the door mat...) and wave their arms frantically.

Then, to help them remember not to interupt, you could say goofy things like, "Wait, I'm still talking...and I can't answer you yet because you aren't waving your arms fast enough."

Maybe that will help them remember the manners part, yet give them an outlet for their need.

(There...that was nicer than my last post. )

[jeteaa]

Originally Posted by PoetryMom

I understand, we have the same problem and, to boot, DD1 gets very upset if anyone "talks over" her.

I'll share what they taught her in Montessori school. It's called "polite interrupting" Any time they want to speak to anyone else who is already talking (usually the teacher), they place their hand on the person's shoulder and wait to be acknowledged.

We have, or course, adopted this at home. She doesn't always use "polite interrupting" at home, but when she does it's gold! If DH and I are talking, and she remembers to be polite, she rests her hand on my shoulder and waits silently until I'm ready to listen to her. So it's not that we don't get interrupted, but at least we get to finish our sentence (if not our entire thought) before we address DD. She's not perfect, but the bargings have certainly decreased.

...Now DD2 is a whole different story...she's 2 and demands everyone's attention immediately!

dd1 (5 yrs old) has started tapping us on the shoulder. At first I found it annoying, but upon reflection, maybe this is a good tactic for her.

[racheepoo]

We have the "interrupt rule" where he puts his hand on my hand. If I need him to wait, he knows to wait until I acknowledge him. I generally try to do so pretty fast to reinforce that he's using the manners that I taught him in this situation. It's hard for them to wait long at that age.

[Andyr]

i suggest the" because" moethod

tell them you don`t like when you are interrupted because it disturbs the conversation and makes you and your husband upset.
The "because" is like a magic word, makes them think of the outcome more.
wors well on grownups, never tried it on kids tho..

[hakeber]

I don't know, but I know all the becauses in the world have gone in one ear and out the other.

I will say, I noticed the other day that dh interrupts ALL. THE. TIME. I just realized it, and I think that's where ds gets it. I think dh cuts ds off and me off frequently, and I never really thought anything of it...now I have both of them going (that's me in the middle) and I just every now and then cover my ears and scream:"For the love of god you two, take turns!!!!"

I can barely hear myself think between 5pm and 7pm. I think it's really important to model waiting for our kids, too, which I think is easy to forget.

[Anastasiya]

After giving them a couple reminders about interrupting, if they still don't catch on, I have the kids put their hands over their mouths and wait.

I only started this because it seemed they needed not just the verbal reminder, but a physical one to remind them their mouth had to be patient. It works very well, and they think it's fun.