Right time financially to have children - Page 2

[velochic]

First of all, I think that it's wonderful that you're thinking about this ahead of time. So many people don't and then they are surprised by how much a baby/toddler/child can really cost.

Some people have a support network available, some have a source for hand-me-downs, some have free childcare... and others have none of these. There are so many little things that should get a lot of consideration that have an affect on finances.

I'm not sure what area you are planning to go into, but with childcare, I'm skeptical that you will be able to find anything in library science that will allow you to really make much after expenses, so be careful about that. I guess what I am saying is that if you really want to work in a library, with the economy the way it is, it might be a good idea to find your field of work before you think of kids.

Where I work (public library) we have 4 MLS making under $10 part-time. They just can't find anything elsewhere. In fact our director (who makes about $40K/yr with 20yrs. experience) has mentioned several times that the recession and cut in public funds has provided him with the most talented staff he's ever been able to afford. Before a few years ago, he couldn't go out and find an MLS for just over minimum wage. This is the midwest, BTW. He (the director) says it's the same all over our area. Not sure where you are or what field of library science you want to pursue. I only know about public libraries in my geographical area.

I don't think finances have to be the first priority in deciding to conceive, but I think that giving them considerate thought will, in the long run, make life a lot less stressful. Good luck!

[Delicateflower]

Originally Posted by Pinoikoi

Why are you paying your student loans twice a month while you are still in school? Do you have to, or do you choose to? I definitely see the benefit in doing it if it is a choice, so I am not suggesting you stop, just trying to understand the student debt you have.

My student debt is tax deductible, so I see little reason to pay it off early. My loan is through my State, and I would much rather pay them every month than owe the Feds at the end of the year.. so I pay a few months ahead (for buffer), but don't pay extra than required..

Tax deductible things are only discounted at your maximum marginal rate, not free. So something that's tax-deductible for me really costs 20% less than advertised.

[K1329]

There are also factors that are out of your control. How long will it take you to conceive? For me, it took MUCH longer than expected. And, how many children do you want? If you wait too long, you may not have time to have the size family you want. I wanted 2, and, luckily, had 2. Dd at 32 and ds at 36. While there are many parents my age I feel like the pregnancy and dealing with the sleepless nights was much easier at 32 than it was at 36. Just another thing to consider.

[rightkindofme]

I feel very cranky when people say, "If you wait till you are financially ready you will never have children."

OP: I went to college and grad school and worked long enough to have zero student loan debt before having kids. It was very very important to my partner and I that we have only our mortgage before we started having kids. We knew we wanted me to stay home so we got all of our ducks in a row to be able to afford that.

If you are frugal and dedicated you can accomplish your goals pretty quickly in order to be ready to have kids at a young age. We started trying to conceive when I was 26 and I really don't think I would have been emotionally prepared when I was younger.

[Norasmomma]

For myself the answer is even if you think that you're financially ready things may happen. I had a successful hairstyling business, DH was a very busy electrician. DD was born and I ended up having to quit working due to very serious duct issues from nursing, work, new baby and nursing just were a bad mix. SO I quit, I was like what is more important? My baby or my clientele? Obviously my daughter was. We wanted another baby when she was 2, and I got pregnant and all was fine, that is until the recession finally really hit our construction trades and now DH has been unemployed since our son's birth 5 months ago, he did work a little, but it's been very little. Has it been hard, oh yeah, but it has also been the most enjoyable part of my life being with my family.

My advice is yeah there may never be a "perfect" time, if there was no one would ever have kids. You have only been married for 10 months, DH and I were married 10 years before our DD was born, I'd say enjoy each other a bit first because once a baby is in the picture your life should be about them, I've seen waaaayyyy too many people rush into kids and their marriages have suffered because the parents weren't quite ready for that. I also have seen those who have had kids early in their marriage and been fine. My biggest thing is owning a home, I think kids need a home they know is theirs, but that's my own thing.

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by K1329

There are also factors that are out of your control. How long will it take you to conceive? For me, it took MUCH longer than expected. And, how many children do you want? If you wait too long, you may not have time to have the size family you want. I wanted 2, and, luckily, had 2. Dd at 32 and ds at 36. While there are many parents my age I feel like the pregnancy and dealing with the sleepless nights was much easier at 32 than it was at 36. Just another thing to consider.

. My DH and I waited several years after *I* was "ready" (i.e. salivating) to start TTC, so that he would feel financially comfortable-- in his case it was about being able to support us if I decided to stay home. I felt kind of smug b/c we were TTC and I was only 25 going on 26 and I'd read so many stories of couples that "wait too long and then can't get pregnant"... turns out that being in your 20's is no guarantee. It took us 2.5 years, four miscarriages, and a LOT of doctors' bills before we finally had a baby last May. Unfortunately, there's no way to know whether you'll have any difficulties until you start trying. Lots of folks start TTC knowing that *on average* it takes six months and BAM!-- pregnant the first month. And lots are like me, who waited for years assuming that it wouldn't take long. Just something to consider.

The other big issue, which many other PP have touched on, is how you plan on taking care of your baby once it comes along. The biggest expense of babies is childcare, whether you pay someone else to do it, or sacrifice income to do it yourself. My DS is costing us ~$25,000 a year-- what I was earning (gross pay) prior to his arrival. The only arrangement that is free is if you happen to have a grandmother with nothing else to do handy!