Overwhelmingly nervous about a second UC - Page 2

[mntnmom]

Sorry if I'm crashing, I've never (intentionally) UC'd, but I understand the feeling of tempting fate. Every time I get pregnant I wonder if *this* child will be the one with a catastrophic birth defect. If *this* will be the horrible birth that lands me in the hospital or worse. All of my babes have been healthy. My births have been good. It doesn't seem quite fair that I should have all the good luck.
But, I am healthy, well informed, and conscious of my body. I have faith that things normally go well if one stays away from the hospital. Until I see otherwise I just have to rest on that faith in my body, and my husband to be there if things do go wrong.
If you can't get past it, it's ok to get outside help for reassurance. That's why *I* always had a midwife. Are you doing prenatal care? A little bit might go a long way to help you feel better about yours and baby's condition.

[sweet_tart_vt]

We are planning our 4th UC (7th baby). Everytime has been beautiful, ecstatic and empowering, but even now, after all the babies, all the UC's, all the researching, after 3 yrs of apprenticship I still find myself asking "what if...." I think it has been so conditioned into our minds what pregnancy and birth "should be", that even if we have had wonderful experiences we think we are tempting fate, or it's our turn to be a statistic. I trust my body 100%, I trust the multitude of woman-kind that have come before me and will come after me that have done/will do the same. I trust my baby that she knows the best time to be born and the best way for that to happen. But at the end of the day, Im still human. I still have weaknesses, Im still vulnerable. I think being able to accept our doubts/perceived inadequcies allows us to embrace them and turn them into strengths and assets instead of letting them overwhelm us by turning into panic and fear.

I sometimes wonder "what if she's breech?" " what if I a have a PPH?" "My youngest is only going to be 16mos when the new LO comes, how am I going to deal with that?". In the end, it will be what it will be, and I will find a way to cope. It may not be perfect, but a way will be found.

This may sound odd, but the thing I am most worried about right now is hurting DH's feelings. I really dont want him around (or anyone) when this LO decides to come Earthside. The more UC's I have had, the more I know I need to be alone to do my work, and that anyone present, even my loving DH, and very supportive children, will not let my body work in the way it needs to. I am really hoping she arrives deep in the night or early morning so I can just tell them all that I didnt want to disturb anyone until I knew she was coming, and then it was just too late.

[forthebest]

Well I think any upcoming birth will weigh a bit on a woman because theres hard work coming up! but I wonder how much of that is learned behaviour from our societys attitude towards birth being something inherently dangerous. My 2nd uc went just fine and I noticed my labours were much shorter than that horrible hospital birth I had with my first and a 36 hour labour that seemed neverending. Truly I felt ucing was far less daunting than the thought of doing it for the first time their way though I did bleed quite a lot with my 3rd child. If I had had more babies I would have deffo tried uc again, I had planned to uc since I was a teenager but didnt have the support first time round.

[Serenyd]

I think I started a thread like this when I was pregnant with my second UC baby. And if anything it went better than the first UC! I also felt more prepared and more in tune with my body, this time around, and that helped me to relax.

Hope it goes just as well for you! I do know lots of UC mamas who had wonderful second UCs. : )

[cathicog]

I know a lady who has had 7 UCs...(she has 11 children and is planning a Hb with this upcoming LO... , and I got an email awhile ago from one lady who had 11 children, all UC, so each birth is different, and this UC may well be better than the last one!