Weaning advice please!

[Honey693]

DD is 17 months old and I'm 10 weeks pregnant. She was down to nursing 3-4 times a day for anywhere from 3-10 minutes. I don't even think I have milk left b/c I hardly ever hear her swallow. The thing is, I need to wean. I hate nursing. I want to scream at her and throw her off me every time she does. It makes my skin crawl. Today we only nursed once and she flipped out when I said no earlier. I mean 2 hours of screaming. It was awful. How do I wean her without all the tears? She won't take a pacifier and she gets so upset she flails around so I can't cuddle her.

[doubledutch]

the way you're feeling is really common when nursing while pregnant. i was lucky to only experience it occasionally, usually in the middle of the night, but i know what you mean. if i felt like that all the time, i probably would have weaned. yech!

one way i dealt with the feeling of nursing while pregnant was to make it sound really awesome and fun for ds to nurse "super fast!" like literally he would latch onto each breast for less than a minute. i would also let him nurse to the count of ten (and i'd count as slowly or quickly as i needed) or to the ABC song. it avoided the tantrum. so while not a weaning plan, per se, those might be ways to cope with the remaining nursing sessions while you wean. it might also help you avoid a tantrum if you find a different way to say "no" that she won't hear as "no". like, "let's nurse after we (insert long activity! even at bedtime, like after reading a stack of books, during which she will hopefully fall asleep.)" she may begin forget about nursing by the time you are wrapping up that activity and moving on to the next thing.

for the actual weaning, limiting nursing to once or twice a day (at specific times, like waking and bedtime) will be a start. when she asks to nurse at other times, remind her of when she will nurse, and you might add, "i need more time to make milk for you!" (even if your supply is basically nil). then when the time feels right, you can tell her that nursing is going to be all done. have her say goodbye (at a time when she isn't asking to nurse). tell her about the fun things weaned girls get to do with their mamas.

there's no way for anyone to tell you whether your dd can wean without tears. (hopefully without another 2 hour screaming session though, for your sanity!) it's normal that she would be sad about it, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. you have to take care of yourself so that you can enjoy mothering her and growing your babe, and you are there to comfort her and guide her through the transition.

[Honey693]

We haven't nursed all day! She wasn't even mad! She just asked, I said no and then she wandered away.

[Honey693]

It's been 3 days with no nursing. She's asked a few times, but gotten a book or given me a hug when I said no. I'm so relieved we're done, but at the same time I'm ready to cry. I wish weaning could have happened on DD's terms and been less rushed, but I just couldn't handle it. I feel so sad, but so relieved.

[doubledutch]

it's understandable to feel sad, but be gentle with yourself. if she is weaning this easily, she must be ready. you can take pride in the 500 days of mama milk you gave to her and in the love and care and thought you've put into weaning her. you can also take a little comfort in her amazing adaptiveness to the transition of weaning - hopefully this means she will also transition into "big sisterhood" smoothly too!

congratulations on dd's weaning, and on doing what you needed to in order to care for her, for yourself and for the new little one.