How do you handle close family members who talk to your child in ways that drive you crazy? I have a very small family who live nearby so we see them frequently- several times a week usually. They mean well, but are annoying- here are some examples: My uncle particularly is always asking my 2 1/2 yo ds quiz type questions, yk, always testing- what color is this? What sound does x animal make, what shape is that, how many x are there? I don't like it and don't think my child prefers it. I don't want him feeling constantly tested and afraid to get it wrong.
My mother seems hung up on enunciation. She will repeat a word that he is saying very slowly and distinctly several times so he can hear the right way to say it. Drives me nuts and dh really can't stand it. Seems to me she could either repeat correctly once, lightly or just let it go. She also is generally unnatural with children and she seems to make a point to always be trying to "educate" by using unnecessarily long, technical terms, such as a sanitation vehicle instead of garbage truck or transport vehicle instead of truck. Instead of just supporting whatever a 2 1/2 yo wants to call something, she seems to insist on him hearing the "correct" term. She also goes into inordinately long, adult type explanations for no good reason.
We're still nursing and my grandmother will say to him when he asks me to nurse, oh you shouldn't be doing that, you don't need to do that, you're too big for that. She also will tell him that he shouldn't ask me to carry him, that it's not good for me to pick him up, he's to big. He started crying the other day while I was in the restroom at her house and I could hear her telling him, don't cry, no, stop crying. No attempt to comfort him. Luckily, my dh was in the other room and came to ds's rescue.
But, you get the idea. In writing this that seemed unrelated, I realize it's a constant atmosphere of correction. I really disliked it for myself as a child and don't want my ds to have to feel like he's always doing something wrong. He's a wonderfully sweet, even-tempered and fairly sensitive person and I want to protect him from the way I know that feels.
So what can I say? How can I say it that won't offend, but will be effective? I do like these people, shortcomings and all! Any "pass the bean dip" type suggestions?
My mother seems hung up on enunciation. She will repeat a word that he is saying very slowly and distinctly several times so he can hear the right way to say it. Drives me nuts and dh really can't stand it. Seems to me she could either repeat correctly once, lightly or just let it go. She also is generally unnatural with children and she seems to make a point to always be trying to "educate" by using unnecessarily long, technical terms, such as a sanitation vehicle instead of garbage truck or transport vehicle instead of truck. Instead of just supporting whatever a 2 1/2 yo wants to call something, she seems to insist on him hearing the "correct" term. She also goes into inordinately long, adult type explanations for no good reason.
We're still nursing and my grandmother will say to him when he asks me to nurse, oh you shouldn't be doing that, you don't need to do that, you're too big for that. She also will tell him that he shouldn't ask me to carry him, that it's not good for me to pick him up, he's to big. He started crying the other day while I was in the restroom at her house and I could hear her telling him, don't cry, no, stop crying. No attempt to comfort him. Luckily, my dh was in the other room and came to ds's rescue.
But, you get the idea. In writing this that seemed unrelated, I realize it's a constant atmosphere of correction. I really disliked it for myself as a child and don't want my ds to have to feel like he's always doing something wrong. He's a wonderfully sweet, even-tempered and fairly sensitive person and I want to protect him from the way I know that feels.
So what can I say? How can I say it that won't offend, but will be effective? I do like these people, shortcomings and all! Any "pass the bean dip" type suggestions?
) and if grandma told my child they shouldn't nurse I might say (in front of everyone since she brought it up) grandma just doesn't understand our modern ways. Sometimes addressing issues with a mocking air while smiling good naturedly will get the point across without making people feel defensive.
)
I tell them: "How would you feel if someone talked to you as if you were a baby?"
