Speaking as a child who had a stepfather who did not even like her... guess who I blame for my horrid childhood? Him? A little. But who do I REALLY blame? HER, my mother, the person who was suppose to love and PROTECT me!! I left home at 16 and then left town and it was years before I even spoke to her again! 15 years later I finally came back to town and just now, at age 40, do I feel like I've repaired my relationship with my mother, but even so, I still have the scars from what she put me through.
My stepfather didn't beat me, he provided financially etc. but he said the meanest things that still hurt to remember to this day! I haven't forgotten one cruel word...or the cat that he killed right in our front yard.
Violence always escalates. I was married to a man who used words to hurt, was always stressed, blamed the stress, was always sorry.... it took ten years to get to the point where he hit me. I don't know why I didn't leave then, but the day he took a swing at his eight year old son, we were outta there! My now 18 year old son doesn't want to be around his dad, now that he has a choice...and he loves him, but he refuses to take the abuse.
I wish someone had told me back then what I'm about to point out to you now. What you are doing right now, is giving your daughter the model of what a relationship is. Do you want her to grow up and take whatever a man dishes out because he is stressed? As long as he says the right words later, that his actions do not matter? Just truly and seriously think about that.
What kind of marriage do you want for her someday? And compare it to the example you are giving her. Because kids do as we do, not as we say. Plus, being verbally abused leads to low self esteem and that leads to taking crap because you think it's all you deserve.
One last point to consider, I'm serious about violence escalating. It may be just words now, but one day the stress might be worse.... And if you have another child with him, consider that a lot domestic abuse STARTS when the woman is pregnant. When you are most helpless and dependent.http://www.verbalabuse.com/faq.shtmlhttp://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/verbalabuse.htmlhttp://divorcesupport.about.com/od/a...erba_abuse.htm