Almost 2 and wondering about weaning.

[dexlor]

My DD is in daycare 3 days a week. Those days, she nurses in the morning, before bed and sometimes when she gets home from daycare. My days off, she nurses more often..probably about 3 more times. If I am home, it is the only way she'll fall asleep. My Dh and sis-in-law have been able to get her to go to sleep, so I know it's possible. I've actually gone away from one night...gone for a total of 24 hours and she was fine and went right back to her nursing schedule when I returned.

I've read the kellymom.com articles on the benefits of nursing into the toddler years...but I wonder how much she really is getting out of it other than snuggling? Which is great, but we also snuggle w/o it. I am starting to feel that subtle pressure from others. "When will you wean", "are you STILL nursing?". So, I'm really not sure what my motivation is here for weaning. I just feel ready. Does that make sense. She asks for milkies, and the "other side". And I can't imagine telling her "no" but I can see trying to distract her by offering cow's milk or water or snuggling in my lap for storytime.

Just wanted to get others thoughts and if anyone else has gone through this ambivalence.

Thanks

[doubledutch]

are you familiar with "don't offer, don't refuse"? it could be a gentle way to wean depending on her personality. (eta: what i mean about personality is, there are some little ones who would continue right on nursing for a long time with this method.) the "don't offer" part is obvious. the "don't refuse" part of it means that you might delay or offer a substitute, but when she truly feels she must nurse, you don't refuse. you might set nursing limits about the location, like, "we only nurse in this one big comfy nursing chair" to break the sleep association, or you might only nurse in bed. you might set limits regarding the timing, like reminding her that she will get to nurse at bedtime, or that she nurses when the sun comes up (after you've had all night to sleep & make milk for her). offer cuddles, offer stories, offer back rubs (or "writing" on her back).

i get the ambivalence. i think weaning is usually bittersweet regardless of the circumstances. just remember that you can try making little adjustments and setting a couple limits, and back off if it doesn't feel right . . . or keep moving forward if it does feel right!

[corrieoseal]

I don't have advice, but wanted to let you know that I am in the exact same spot as you. DD is 21 months now and we have been doing "Don't offer, don't refuse" since 13 months to no avail DD loves to nurse and doesn't want to give it up. We have also gone for almost entire days while traveling and being busy, so I know she doesn't "need" it every day anymore. Part of my reluctance to wean more aggressively is that it is such an awesome tool when she is having a particularly out of sorts day to calm her down and get us both to slow down and relax a bit. I still don't know what I am going to do either, but feel the same pressure. Those that know we are still nursing are really pushing the, "When will you stop?" and we've sort of hidden it from our family (besides DH, of course) because of the negative comments.

[adamsfam07]

My DD will be 2 in May and still wants to nurse quite a bit. I've been having that "I just want to be done" feeling for the last couple of weeks, then I feel guilty and change my mind. I know she doesn't "need" it and like one of the other mommas posted it's so easy to give it to her to calm her down or put her to sleep. I"m not sure what to do, I've heard a lot about the "don't offer, don't refuse" so I think I'm going to start with that. Good luck mommas.

[jenfl]

Just before 2, I was done, too. I used don't offer, don't refuse and distraction to get her down to just a nighttime nursing.

After that, I had good luck with a countdown. I would let DD nurse, but keep track of how long she did it. Once I established an average, I started getting her off when that time hit. Then, I reduced the time by 10 seconds a day or some such. She didn't protest being removed, and after just a few days, stopped on her own.

[dahlsk]

I'm at this point with my 25 mo old too. He is fine when at daycare or when with dh in terms of sleeping on his own, not needing to nurse. He still wants to nurse at bedtime and in the mornings, sometimes when I get home from work too. The hard part is on weekends or when I am at home, he wants it a lot more and it feels like my presence at home wrecks the routine he has. Talk about a bittersweet feeling! I basically have been doing don't offer, don't refuse for some time.

My final concern is when to do the last push toward weaning? Do I try this spring while I am still teaching, as my time at work will mean less triggers for him to ask to nurse? My concern here is that nursing is a nice connection when I am home, so I don't want to be too rough on him if I am away working and now denying milk too. OTOH, if I wait until summer, I will be home more and able to give him lots of non-nursing cuddles but I will also be around more which will be more of a trigger/temptation to nurse. Thoughts?

[transylvania_mom]

From your post, I understand that you are thinking about weaning mainly because other people are pressuring you. If you are ok with it, why not continue? She'll wean eventually...
Just my