Too much meat?

[in_the_now]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here, found you through mothering magazine I've been feeling disturbed lately about the meat consumption of the 20-month-old who lives with her mom downstairs (I live in a community house with a few single moms). We all respect one another's eating habits...my son and I are vegetarian, the other moms and kids are omnivores, we all eat what feels right to each of us. I offer my son meat on the rare occasion, but he always spits it out.

Anyway, I've been noticing that this housemate (I'll call her Katie) has very strict ideas about what her and her daughter should eat (particularly her daughter, which I can understand since she's so young). Their diet only consists of meat, cooked vegetables and some whole grains. Meat is, by far, their number one source of nutrition. They literally eat meat at every meal, large portions of mostly beef and sometimes turkey or fish. I don't want to be one of those vegetarians who bashes meat-eaters, I really don't...I believe in respecting everyone's personal choice about what they put into their body, but it feels like a line needs to be drawn.

I've tried ignoring this, telling myself that I shouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but I'm starting to feel pretty worried about the toddler's long-term health. The ironic thing is, whenever the girl wants something my son is eating (like cereal or cheese) her mother will tell her that eating that kind of food is not a healthy habit to create (or something along those lines). I keep wanting to retort, "Oh and eating tons of meat is?" but I don't want to make it in an argument about whose diet is better, you know? It's not really about that, but she's pushing my buttons by judging what we choose to eat and not realizing how unhealthy their dietary choices are in the long-term.

So I'm not sure if I should bring this up or not, or how I should go about bringing it up. Katie is sensitive about some things and food is definitely one of them. I know that a part of me will feel bad if I never say anything, though. I'd like to go about this in a positive manner, maybe suggesting different protein sources, but I'm afraid it will come across as criticizing. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated

[new2this]

Personally as far as health factor goes I wouldn't say a thing thats not your place.

Now on the comments I would say something very direct and say look we eat this way and thats the way it is, it is what we feel is best. So please don't say anything more about it because we have found them to be healthy for our family type thing.

Seriously though cheese and cereal? Unless does she have a lactose tolerance problem or something and thats how she communicates it to her daughter?

[LilacMama]

Maybe they follow something like the Paleolithic Diet (I'm no expert on it, so it's just a guess). At any rate, I think it's none of your business unless you both want to start sharing info on nutrition in a mutual learning/discussion sort of way. I DO think it's rude for her to talk like that in front of you about what you feed your daughter. But that doesn't mean you should be rude back.

[redvlagrl]

I would agree with the pp that it's not your place to say anything. The child seems as though she is getting a variety of foods (i.e. it's not like her mom is *only* feeding her meat).

Personally, I don't think cereal is a great choice, even the 'healthy' ones because of extrusion and ultra high heat to puff the others. DD eats a lot of cheese, though. Perhaps there is a history of milk or lactose allergies and she is delaying the introduction of dairy (not that I necessarily agree ith this myself).

If you're really curious you could simply ask her why she doesn't view these foods as a good choice. As long as you do it in a non confrontational way I am sure she will tell tell. Just as I will happily explain why I don't give DD juice.

[mambera]

Originally Posted by in_the_now

The ironic thing is, whenever the girl wants something my son is eating (like cereal or cheese) her mother will tell her that eating that kind of food is not a healthy habit to create (or something along those lines). I keep wanting to retort, "Oh and eating tons of meat is?" but I don't want to make it in an argument about whose diet is better, you know? It's not really about that, but she's pushing my buttons by judging what we choose to eat and not realizing how unhealthy their dietary choices are in the long-term.

I understand this isn't the point of the post, but I'm really kind of curious as to why you feel that meat is less healthy than cereal or cheese. I would have said the opposite for sure, as cereal and cheese are both highly processed foods.

Meat *alone* is obviously not a good choice; but meat, veggies, and whole grains? Sounds like a perfectly healthy diet to me.

[tinuviel_k]

I agree: its none of your business. And despite that you choose to eat differently, they way they eat is not necessarily unhealthy at all.

[annethcz]

I think it's none of your business. Their diet doesn't sound overly unhealthy to me, and I can understand that perhaps the mother doesn't want her child to eat the processed foods that your child is eating. Perhaps they eat a primal or traditional foods type of diet.

[ps4624]

I agree that you should probably (I mean this gently and respectfully) MYOB. We are a grain free household - we eat lots of meat, veg, fruit and dairy. I'm sure anyone who follows a low fat diet would be horrified by what we eat, but we think it's the best fit for us.

However, it could be a really interesting conversation to find out what your house-mate's views on nutrition are.

Welcome to MDC!

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by in_the_now

I don't want to be one of those vegetarians who bashes meat-eaters, I really don't...I believe in respecting everyone's personal choice about what they put into their body, but it feels like a line needs to be drawn.

I'm not sure why you feel you are the person with the authority to draw lines. Not only is it not your business, but you're not necessarily right either. You don't know why they're choosing what they are or every single thing the child ever eats. Having had a special needs child with a restricted diet, I hated knowing that people were judging our food choices (and I knew when they were).

[in_the_now]

Wow, this isn't exactly the warm welcome I was expecting I do feel you're all right in that it's none of my business and I should keep my opinion to myself...it probably won't do any good. I'm even more disturbed than I was before, though, because I just can't understand how no one sees eating meat three times a day as detrimental in the slightest. How do you all rationalize that? You can point out that they eat other things, but I just don't see how that makes up for it. I don't know, I guess I just see things differently than most people here.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by in_the_now

...because I just can't understand how no one sees eating meat three times a day as detrimental in the slightest...

I know lots of people who eat meat three times a day, and have done so for decades, and are very healthy. Most of the people I knew growing up ate a lot of meat.

How do you all rationalize that?

What makes you think we need to "rationalize" it? I don't believe eating meat is unhealthy. I don't believe that eating quite a lot of meat is unhealthy, especially as they do eat other things, as well. There's no rationalization involved.

[tanyalynn]

It depends on their individual needs. We're gluten and dairy free, and maybe they are too. Those mess with me and the kids something fierce, and trying to teach a child that they can't share their friend's food is tricky--it took work to teach my kids to always ask me before eating something.

If you check out the Nutrition sub-section at MDC, you'll see a few sub-forums, one vegetarian and one called Traditional something. There are very different definitions of healthy diets, and oftentimes peoples' individual health needs are involved in which they choose. Until I got sick, I never imagined I'd eat a high (mostly saturated) fat diet, yet here I am. And it seems to be meeting my needs and my kids' needs pretty well.

And

[Mountaingirl79]

Hi and Welcome! It may not be what you were expecting but I hope you stick around. We are friendly, I promise...

We eat meat in our household, and although we aren't eating meat 3 times a day, we do usually eat meat or a meat substitute twice a day. So I guess 3 times a day, as long as veggies and whole grains are combined sounds just fine. It's not like she's eating twinkies and spaghettio's (sp) for meals.

I think maybe some of us are surprised that a line needs to be drawn at all....?

[in_the_now]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

It depends on their individual needs. We're gluten and dairy free, and maybe they are too. Those mess with me and the kids something fierce, and trying to teach a child that they can't share their friend's food is tricky--it took work to teach my kids to always ask me before eating something.

If you check out the Nutrition sub-section at MDC, you'll see a few sub-forums, one vegetarian and one called Traditional something. There are very different definitions of healthy diets, and oftentimes peoples' individual health needs are involved in which they choose. Until I got sick, I never imagined I'd eat a high (mostly saturated) fat diet, yet here I am. And it seems to be meeting my needs and my kids' needs pretty well.

And

Thanks, Tanya, your comment was warm and welcoming...easy for me to digest You've helped open me up more to different diets and why people choose them.

[in_the_now]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I know lots of people who eat meat three times a day, and have done so for decades, and are very healthy. Most of the people I knew growing up ate a lot of meat.


What makes you think we need to "rationalize" it? I don't believe eating meat is unhealthy. I don't believe that eating quite a lot of meat is unhealthy, especially as they do eat other things, as well. There's no rationalization involved.

There are so many studies that have been done that have linked, time and time again, meat (especially red meat) with heart disease, high blood pressure, various types of cancer, high cholesterol, and probably many other health problems that the public may or may not be aware of.

I'm not saying that everyone should become vegetarian...we all have different needs, I'm aware of that. I just can't understand how a 20-month-old can benefit from eating meat three times a day. Maybe I need to do more research or whatever or talk to her mother more, but I highly doubt that is beneficial for her health long-term.

[cheekymamaof2]

Yeah, not your business.
My guess is, if the mother is already making comments about YOUR food not being good habits to start eating, shes already feeling some sort of judgemental vibe pouring off of you.
You need to realize that not everyone is vegetarian, and there are millions of people who eat meat every single day, and do just fine.
Definitely not your business. Also, stop making horrible faces when you see her feeding her kids meat. She sees your physical reactions.

[Mountaingirl79]

Hmmmm, I'm confused, are you looking for dialogue or just agreement?

I think this might be one of those "agree to disagree" situations.

People have different ideas about food. I find milk to be gross and not at all healthy, but if someone else wants to drink 4 glasses a day...well, that's your right.

[annettemarie]

Moving to Nutrition and Good Eating

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by in_the_now

Wow, this isn't exactly the warm welcome I was expecting I do feel you're all right in that it's none of my business and I should keep my opinion to myself...it probably won't do any good. I'm even more disturbed than I was before, though, because I just can't understand how no one sees eating meat three times a day as detrimental in the slightest. How do you all rationalize that? You can point out that they eat other things, but I just don't see how that makes up for it. I don't know, I guess I just see things differently than most people here.

You'd have to stick around more to know whether you fit in. Everyone here (as IRL) exists on a spectrum. Food is a big issue for me, but I'm not vegetarian. We eat veg 2 days a week and usually have seafood twice, beef once, and chicken or pork once.

Many people here are vegetarian or vegan, so it's not as if there aren't any people here who eat like you do.

One of the biggest commonalities I see here at MDC is that we all tend to believe in minding our own business with others. I don't tell other people that they're wrong with their parenting decisions because I don't them to do the same to me.

[JessicaS]

Hello!

Welcome to Mothering!

If someone was telling their child something I was eating was unhealthy or inappropriate right in front of me and my child I would ask them why they feel that way.

I would object if someone was evangelizing a certain diet and against mine right in front of my child. We do make certain decisions regarding food with various factors in mind.