Ex and I have been apart about 18 months now. He always ate like crap and always tried to feed DS crap. I did talk to him about it since he was then responsible for providing meals for DS for several days each week, rather than just a snack here and there. He was feeding him lunchables all the time but then seemed to try harder and was making DS chicken at night, with bob evans mashed potatoes and some veggies. MIL makes meals at her house and they were eating with her frequently. Great!
I just assumed things were still going well, but I met them at kroger the other day to pick up DS (we were in the same end of town and it was easier to just meet there) and I saw his cart and his mom's cart. Nothing but junk. Loads and loads of junk. Chef boyardee, lunchables, corn dogs, frozen mini pancakes, banquet fish stick dinners, ect. They were in the canned fruit aisle and they got applesauce, but nothing else because "he won't eat it". He eats fruit just fine at my house! He doesn't eat good food at their house because they stuff him full of fatty carbs...of course he's going to turn down some peaches! They did have 1 head of broccoli and 1 lb of carrots.
Now some backstory...we've had problems getting DS to eat. Not just eat properly, but just to eat in general. He didn't eat more than couple of tbsp of solid food a day until he was over 2. He lost weight and got really skinny when my milk supply dropped when I was pregnant. He gained weight back when DD was born because he nursed 4 times a day still. He did a little better after that...at least he was eating food and drinking from a cup. Then at about 4, he started refusing to eat again. Sometimes all we could get him to eat all day was applesauce. He would lay on the floor and cry until we could convince him to eat and then he'd perk up. We took him to the pedi but they said he was growing so he didn't help us at all. Through all of this, I would just keep offering food. All.Day.Long. Lots of variety. I told them to do the same.
I took him to WIC with me one day and found out he gained 2 lbs. So I knew he was doing much better. Then he started refusing everything I'd feed him. Stuff he'd previously eat. He always loved fruits and veggies. Then all he wanted was corn dogs.
Well, now I know the reason. If all they feed him is junk, of COURSE he's going to balk when he comes to my house!
Oh and we suspected that he might have had a UTI last week. I told his dad to just give him water and cranberry juice (if he could get him to drink it). I went to pick him up and they had given him KOOL-AID! No one in their right mind can think that stuff is an appropriate drink, especially for a child with a suspected UTI.
I feel like I should try to discuss this with his dad again. But he never listens to me. He thinks he's a better parent then I am. So anything I say goes in one ear and out the other. But DS is going to end up overweight and unhealthy if they keep feeding him like this! I was glad when he gained the 2 lbs. That puts him a little more proportional for his height. But he didn't gain it in a healthy way!
I talk to DS about nutrition. I explain why we need each food group. I tell him (quite honestly) why being a healthy weight is important. I'm overweight and he knows that I'm working to lose weight so I can be healthy (not just thin). He knows that he has to eat to have energy. But he's getting mixed messages from them. He tells me that they tell him that everyone needs to eat meat (I'm a vegetarian and I do not prepare meat, aside from the very occasional corn dog when I cannot get him to eat otherwise). I know that they are not just skeptical of vegetarianism, but actually very outspoken that it's unhealthy, only stupid people wouldn't eat meat, ect. MIL told him he doesn't have to eat veggies because "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". She's admitted to me before that she didn't feed her kids veggies when they were little. They only "veggies" she likes are corn and potatoes.
I just don't know what to do! Do I just keep educating DS and hope it sinks in and he asks his dad for healthier options? Or do I keep talking to his dad, even though it's likely falling on deaf ears?
Oh and last week DS wouldn't eat what I made for dinner and kept insisting on pancakes. I told him no and he said, "Why don't you just make what I order!?" Wonderful. So now my kid thinks I'm a short order cook. I've tried SO HARD to provide him with good food and I feel like I shouldn't even be bothering.
I just assumed things were still going well, but I met them at kroger the other day to pick up DS (we were in the same end of town and it was easier to just meet there) and I saw his cart and his mom's cart. Nothing but junk. Loads and loads of junk. Chef boyardee, lunchables, corn dogs, frozen mini pancakes, banquet fish stick dinners, ect. They were in the canned fruit aisle and they got applesauce, but nothing else because "he won't eat it". He eats fruit just fine at my house! He doesn't eat good food at their house because they stuff him full of fatty carbs...of course he's going to turn down some peaches! They did have 1 head of broccoli and 1 lb of carrots.
Now some backstory...we've had problems getting DS to eat. Not just eat properly, but just to eat in general. He didn't eat more than couple of tbsp of solid food a day until he was over 2. He lost weight and got really skinny when my milk supply dropped when I was pregnant. He gained weight back when DD was born because he nursed 4 times a day still. He did a little better after that...at least he was eating food and drinking from a cup. Then at about 4, he started refusing to eat again. Sometimes all we could get him to eat all day was applesauce. He would lay on the floor and cry until we could convince him to eat and then he'd perk up. We took him to the pedi but they said he was growing so he didn't help us at all. Through all of this, I would just keep offering food. All.Day.Long. Lots of variety. I told them to do the same.
I took him to WIC with me one day and found out he gained 2 lbs. So I knew he was doing much better. Then he started refusing everything I'd feed him. Stuff he'd previously eat. He always loved fruits and veggies. Then all he wanted was corn dogs.
Well, now I know the reason. If all they feed him is junk, of COURSE he's going to balk when he comes to my house!
Oh and we suspected that he might have had a UTI last week. I told his dad to just give him water and cranberry juice (if he could get him to drink it). I went to pick him up and they had given him KOOL-AID! No one in their right mind can think that stuff is an appropriate drink, especially for a child with a suspected UTI.
I feel like I should try to discuss this with his dad again. But he never listens to me. He thinks he's a better parent then I am. So anything I say goes in one ear and out the other. But DS is going to end up overweight and unhealthy if they keep feeding him like this! I was glad when he gained the 2 lbs. That puts him a little more proportional for his height. But he didn't gain it in a healthy way!
I talk to DS about nutrition. I explain why we need each food group. I tell him (quite honestly) why being a healthy weight is important. I'm overweight and he knows that I'm working to lose weight so I can be healthy (not just thin). He knows that he has to eat to have energy. But he's getting mixed messages from them. He tells me that they tell him that everyone needs to eat meat (I'm a vegetarian and I do not prepare meat, aside from the very occasional corn dog when I cannot get him to eat otherwise). I know that they are not just skeptical of vegetarianism, but actually very outspoken that it's unhealthy, only stupid people wouldn't eat meat, ect. MIL told him he doesn't have to eat veggies because "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". She's admitted to me before that she didn't feed her kids veggies when they were little. They only "veggies" she likes are corn and potatoes.
I just don't know what to do! Do I just keep educating DS and hope it sinks in and he asks his dad for healthier options? Or do I keep talking to his dad, even though it's likely falling on deaf ears?
Oh and last week DS wouldn't eat what I made for dinner and kept insisting on pancakes. I told him no and he said, "Why don't you just make what I order!?" Wonderful. So now my kid thinks I'm a short order cook. I've tried SO HARD to provide him with good food and I feel like I shouldn't even be bothering.
I don't have expeirience with the dealing with an ex issue (which is really really the huge issue here, and I'm wondering if cross-posting in the single parents or blended family parenting forums might yield some good results?
